What you see in a dream is often not only surprising, but also embarrassing. We are trying to find an explanation for the vision, but it is not always worth looking for direct analogies with reality. Then what is the meaning of a dream in which we perform actions that are not at all characteristic of us in reality?
“I have sex with a man: we work together. In reality, I never wanted him, but in a dream we have a hot and passionate intercourse. I vaguely remember my husband and wonder how I will explain this scene to him if he suddenly appears on the threshold. At that moment, the dream ends and I wake up. This dream is remembered with an unpleasant feeling. Not only because of this strange man. There is some cynicism in my thinking about possible explanations. If this happened in reality, it’s out of the question, I love my husband very much, but if it were, I would rather frankly admit that I fell in love with another. This dream is like a cruel mockery of me, and even false.”
Barbara, 28 years old
Interpretation
“In dreams, desires are fulfilled, including those that we would not admit to anyone, and those that we ourselves do not even know about.
In reality, consciously, you did not want this man. But some instinctive, unconscious part of you could want it — after all, our unconscious does not belong to us, and we cannot control it. This is one possible explanation.
Another is that in a dream desire can shift from one object to another, somewhat similar. Therefore, it is worth asking yourself the question of who this man looks like. And then, probably, you will discover who you really wanted.
Often we sexualize—that is, make sexual—what we find difficult to handle. For example, a tyrant boss can turn into an object of sexual attraction by the forces of our unconscious.
The unconscious is trying to connect you with that part of your soul that consciousness rejects.
But it may also be that in a dream you met not with those people you know who exist in real life, but with the characters of your inner world — subpersonalities. And then the lover from the dream symbolizes some important part of yourself. To understand which one, ask yourself what character traits you associate with this man. What is it — enterprise, dominance, or, conversely, laziness or cynicism?
Perhaps the unconscious is trying to connect you with that part of your soul that consciousness rejects. For example, in the waking consciousness you are frank and straightforward, but in a dream you are cynical and dodgy. Passionate copulation can mean integration, the union of parts into a whole. So the dream helps to accept those parts of oneself in which it is difficult to admit not only to others, but also to oneself. This acceptance is an opportunity to find true wholeness.
I hope the proposed interpretations will allow you to better understand yourself and others, and you will not dismiss this dream as a mockery or a lie. Moreover, they do not deny your love for your husband. In addition, it is important to remember that we are not responsible for our dreams or fantasies. But what we are responsible for is our actions in reality. You can have any fantasies, but love or reason allows them to remain only in the imagination.