What do women want when (not) putting on makeup?

For Russian women, cosmetics are practically an essential item. According to the Komkon research company, most are ready to give it up only if the money is no longer enough for food.

It is believed that a woman spends about 12% of her monthly income on cosmetics. What goals are we trying to achieve by meticulously choosing cosmetics? And can the most expensive or the most well-chosen cosmetics make life better, bring us closer to harmony with ourselves?

Most Attractive

According to opinion polls, most women use cosmetics primarily to attract the attention of men. According to research conducted by TSC for Clinique, 77% of Russian women say that the opinion of men plays a decisive role in everything related to their appearance. According to The Segmentation for Clinique, about 50% of women in the US and UK responded the same way.

“In private conversations, many men also admit that they like women with makeup, in beautiful, emphatically feminine clothes,” commented Olga Dolgopolova, a gestalt therapist. – Among Europeans and Americans, personal qualities are more important: in response to the question “What kind of women do you like?” Few people would think to bring external data to the forefront as a value. It’s out of date to say the least.”

This attitude to one’s appearance is to some extent connected with the demographic situation: when it is difficult to find a mate, makeup becomes one of the means for a woman to attract attention. Perhaps this is also why in the provinces, in small towns and villages, women tend to use brighter makeup and clothes, constantly look, as they say, elegant.

“Attracting a sexual partner is one of the strongest motivations for our behavior,” says Olga Dolgopolova. “This need is connected with the preservation of life, the opportunity to continue one’s kind.”

“The most active consumers of makeup products in Russia are women from 20 to 34 years old,” Anna Dycheva-Smirnova comments. – But they almost completely stop using cosmetics by about 60 years. And, for example, among American women, the level of spending on cosmetics remains unchanged until the age of 55, and even after 60 they continue to use it.

Nevertheless, in our country, young women in general use makeup much more actively than, say, in Europe or America.

“In our country, being single or without a partner often means being an unsuccessful woman in the eyes of public opinion,” explains Olga Dolgopolova. “And the farther from the capital, the more noticeable this trend is.” In many respects it is connected with the lack of social security. In most developed countries, women (their health, rights) are protected by law. The state also supports those who have a child, and as a result, most of them can independently provide for themselves without the participation of a man.

Am I good without makeup?

“Without makeup, I feel like naked,” admits 41-year-old Natalia. “I never go outside without makeup.”

“For me it was a real problem when we lived for a month in tents by the sea – I can’t live without makeup! — says 22-year-old Elizabeth. – When the sea washes away makeup, it seems to me that I have no eyes, no lips, no eyebrows. The first thing I did when I returned to the city was permanent tattoo makeup to always be fully armed.

Sometimes this attitude towards cosmetics approaches addiction: a woman lives with the feeling that she is not good enough without makeup.

Olga Dolgopolova comments: “Some people are sure that before appearing in front of a partner, say, in the morning, after sleep, you need to put your face in order. That a woman should remain for a man invariably beautiful, always well-groomed, impeccable. It would seem that what is wrong with this intention? In fact, behind such an approach to oneself lies low self-esteem, an inability to accept oneself, the conviction that “in no case can you show yourself the way I really am, because I can’t like that.”

The meaning of the mask

So, women “make a face” before showing themselves to the world, create images and put them on themselves – “fatal”, “doll”, “lolita” – or put on makeup that gives the impression of … no makeup. These images change in accordance with fashion and what role a woman intends to play in society at a given moment. These are some kind of messages that carry social meaning, like the bindi caste signs on the foreheads of Indian women or the painted flies on the ladies’ faces and necks in the time of the Pompadour.

“It’s like not quite me, but a certain legal image of me – the way I present myself to the world,” explains Olga Dolgopolova. – What others can see and discuss is just my image, in fact, it is not known what I am in reality. This is a way to increase personal distance, to feel more protected, naked and invulnerable. And without the mask, “I open up only to those I trust.” There is a very ancient, protective meaning of face painting in this – protection, a mask.

war paint

So this habitual daily action – applying makeup – reveals its archetypal meaning, absorbed from birth.

“Face painting in primitive communities is an attribute of military operations,” says Olga Dolgopolova. “But in our life there is a continuous “battle of the sexes”, and makeup is one of the weapons.”

Note: in our love, romantic vocabulary, we use the words “conquer”, “achieve”, “captivate”, “conquer” – they reflect the hidden side of the relationship.

“In close relationships, we experience precisely ambivalent feelings,” continues Olga Dolgopolova. — Psychotherapist, classic of psychoanalytic trend Karen Horney describes in detail these phenomena of love-hate. A mature person is able to integrate these polarities within himself: from time to time I do not like, get annoyed and even hate, but this does not mean that the relationship has failed or it is time to end it.

In gender relations, it is very important to recognize and accept a fair amount of ambivalence in oneself, to learn to deal with it in socially acceptable ways. Our make-up is seductive coloring. It helps to “win”, “win” in the interaction of the sexes.

Return to yourself

To look good, to feel attractive, to feel confident – these makeup bonuses are listed by women as unconditional steps on the path to happiness. Makeup boosts self-esteem, according to American makeup artist Bobbi Brown, who wrote the book Beauty Evolution (HarperCollins Publishers, 2005).

“Looking my best means three things to me: accepting what we can’t change, being confident and having some makeup knowledge. And being confident means being aware of what’s special about you and not focusing on what you don’t like.”

Makeup artist Eduardo Ferreira from Bobby’s team expands on this idea: “Let’s say a girl doesn’t like her nose. She stands in front of the mirror and says, “I don’t like my nose.” She is no longer able to see anything on her face, except for this nose. Comes to the makeup artist and asks to teach her how to make it smaller (thinner). The nose – the object of her constant attention – becomes the object of attention of others. And beautiful eyes or beautifully defined lips fade into the background.

But makeup can also be a therapy for those who seek to accept themselves. One has only to allow oneself to see what (we) like most about our appearance. And, approaching the mirror, remember this.

“It will help you see the real you,” says Eduardo Ferreira. “Not the same as ten years ago, and not the same as you will never be, but exactly yourself – at the present moment.”