What do parasitic words say about us?

“Here”, “actually”, “like”, “as if”, “this is the most”, “so to speak”, “in short” … Why do we need all these words that irritate us so much in the speech of others and which we ourselves inserted into almost every sentence? These superfluous words serve us as a kind of support in colloquial speech. In the eyes of the speaker, they give stability to the statement.

“The use of parasitic words in speech is not new,” says communication psychologist Yves Prigent. – But the symbol of our time is a sharp increase in their number and rapid spread in society. The main culprits of this, of course, are radio and television, which do not allow pauses: it is necessary to constantly talk, fill the airtime with useless, but lengthening phrases, words and expressions. And we immediately pick them up, and not only because we hear them endlessly on the air of radio stations and from TV screens, but also because to adopt someone’s language habits means to become at least somewhat like that person».

In addition, parasitic words allow you to create a sense of belonging to a social group or to one generation. It is hard to imagine a 70-year-old lady who inserts “tin” or “damn” through every word.

Buzz words

Linguists are forced to admit that it remains a mystery to them why parasitic words appear and disappear from the language. However, when they appear, they can tell a lot about the society that made them popular.

Word “simply” came into use when life, on the contrary, seemed more difficult than ever.

Expression “so to speak” allows you to take responsibility for what you say.

“Do you see” or “you understand” help us to establish contact with the interlocutor, although there is, in fact, nothing to see and understand.

“Actually” or “actually” give speech a tone of soullessness.

“All these unnecessary turns only clutter up speech, just as music in supermarkets only bores customers,” says Yves Prijean. – Trying to seem our own with the help of a generally accepted form, we often forget about the content. Wanting to speak the same language with the interlocutor, we refuse real, lively and free speech. Who today, instead of the common phrase “I have depression”, confesses: “I am sad”, “I am sad”, “I am angry”? After all, these words are much more sincere. Afraid to speak openly about our thoughts and feelings, we are content with ready-made formulations that help to hide the true content of the statement.».

Personal associations

It is necessary to distinguish between universal parasitic words that are accepted by society and individual parasitic words that are characteristic of an individual. If the former are able to tell us about the world in which we live, the latter tell us about our personal complexes and fears.

“The one who begins every sentence with a construction “in fact”, expresses concern that what he said was true, because he himself is not completely sure of this, says psychoanalyst Jean-Pierre Winter. – And this design allows him to get rid of doubts and calm down. Such a person is not used to trusting not only his words, but also his feelings.

And yet, one should not draw hasty conclusions, barely listening to the speech of our friends. “The true meaning of parasitic words can only be discovered through a deep analysis of the personal associations associated with them,” continues Jean-Pierre Winter. – If some personal story is hidden behind the parasitic word, it is the key that opens the door to the subconscious. But here it is important to find the right door to which he will fit.

How to get rid of parasitic words?

First of all, expand your vocabulary. “The point is not to constantly control your speech, forcibly expelling everything unwanted from it,” Yves Prijean advises. – And in ennobling it, including reading good literature, which will help to abandon hackneyed expressions. Only in this way can one learn to say “yes”, meaning “yes”, and “no”, meaning “no”, without meaningless “as if” and “so to speak”. Try to talk like this at least once a week – it’s really nice!

Also worth give yourself the right to silence, allow yourself to take pauses to find more accurate words to express your thoughts. Let’s take the example of the Argentines – they answer the question “How are you?” instead of the traditional “Normal”, which rarely reflects the real state of affairs, they answer not without a share of humor: “Good. Or do you want me to tell you more?

Do parasitic words kill communication?

No, otherwise it would have died long ago. Moreover, sometimes parasitic words can be useful.

“Such words allow the speaker to buy time if he cannot immediately find the right expression: using the words “there”, “like this”, we let the listener know that we are busy searching, and we ask you to be patient until the search is completed, says linguist Vera Podlesskaya. – Sometimes parasitic words help to move from one semantic fragment to another in speech. For example, the word “here” often signals that some minor episode has ended, and the speaker returns to the main line of his story. And the word “well”, on the contrary, begins a fragment that is somehow naturally predetermined by what was said earlier (“So you won’t go to university today? Well, come to me!”)”.

But some parasitic words do create formidable barriers to communication:

“shorter” means that we are obviously not interested in what we are going to report;

“all in all” also does not encourage dialogue;

“as if” absolves us of responsibility…

For communication to be successful, you need the desire to meet the other, make an effort and throw yourself headlong into this river, not knowing where it will lead. A conversation is a meeting in a kind of magical space where everyone feels alive, wanted, quick and easy. And junk words prevent us from feeling this lightness.