Braiding braids from a fringed bedspread, turning a handle, snapping a fingernail against a fingernail … Some people have their arms or legs constantly in motion, it can be difficult for them to restrain themselves. From the outside it seems that this is a sign of hidden anxiety. But maybe these habits are somehow useful?
Did the fifth knob break because you kept pushing its button? Or are the next headphones tangled because of your manner of winding the wire around your finger? These are quite common habits — to fiddle with, twist, press, stroke, shift from place to place and sort out.
“When we watch a cartoon with my son, he does something with his hands all the time: either he ties the ties on his shorts with knots, or he tugs at the edge of his T-shirt. I began to think — maybe something is bothering him, but he cannot not only tell about it, but even realize his anxiety? Isn’t it time to take him to a neurologist or a psychologist? — writes Svetlana, 38 years old.
“My girlfriend’s arms don’t stop moving. She strokes the phone case, pinches and rubs her fingertips with her nails. I don’t understand why she does it. I ask her to stop, she seems to stop, but after a while she continues again. What’s wrong with her?» asks Polina, 28.
Where do these habits come from? What do they say about the person?
Why are they doing that?
What hidden problems are these movements telling us about?
“Any human emotion always manifests itself at the physiological level,” says clinical psychologist Eva Egorova. “Even if you manage to control yourself with ease and you don’t start stomping your feet and pounding your fists when you get angry, this does not mean that you can stop the production of cortisol with the help of your mind or direct serotonin to neurotransmitters with the help of your mind. The conclusion suggests itself: no action in the human body happens just like that. Moreover, a habit is never formed out of the blue, it is not taken from nowhere.
The extrapyramidal system of the brain is responsible for the formation of movements that do not require attention. This can be tapping your fingers on the table, bending and unbending the corner of a book, winding your hair around your fingers, weaving a pigtail from threads of cropped jeans. Such phenomena have their own name — obsessive actions.
All compulsive actions originate in the basal ganglia of the brain. But this does not happen arbitrarily and for no reason. When a person finds himself in a stressful situation, the basal nuclei, as it were, fix the basic movements, remember them and form a pattern, a stable, repetitive element of behavior.
That is why we can act in similar situations in the same way, without paying attention to it. The action is repeated, and we will later call such a habit «nervous».
Performing repetitive actions, we ourselves do not notice this, and if so, we do not notice the problem.
“Many people perceive their nervous habits as something pleasant, as temporary relief, consolation and a kind of support,” explains the psychologist. “When experiencing anxiety, fear, irritation, we lose the feeling of being in space and involuntarily look for a way to feel this space, if figuratively, with the skin.”
In this case, can we talk about the benefits of «nervous habits»? When we perform repetitive actions, we ourselves do not notice either it or the problem that has formed the habit.
“We form a kind of ritual that gives the illusion of relief,” the psychologist clarifies. Why an illusion? Because these actions are performed unconsciously, which means that it is impossible to gain experience in resolving a problem situation with their help.
Going through the watch bracelet does not mean stopping being nervous because of the boss’s voice. Clicking a pen is not the same as stopping being angry with your wife.
This happens when we find ourselves in stressful situations from childhood.
In order to get rid of such a habit, we need to understand what our feelings and experiences “turn on” this reaction and what events precede compulsive actions. However, it may seem that there is no definite cause or it is impossible to isolate it.
According to the psychologist, this happens when we find ourselves in stressful situations from childhood. Or we have been living in anxiety, uncertainty for so long, suppressing negative emotions for so long that we have already forgotten how to feel differently. For example, if from early childhood a person feels bad in the family, parents abuse alcohol, show aggression, pressure, deceive, criticize, devalue his feelings, then he really may not know that it is not normal to live in such an environment.
It happens that such people learn to recognize anxiety and cope with it. But the neural connections in their brains retain the algorithm of actions — and the habit of constantly fiddling with something in their hands remains. Replacing the action with another algorithm helps to get rid of it.
Should I get rid of this habit?
Perhaps obsessive actions do not affect our lives, do not prevent us from working and doing what we love. However, most often they point to a hidden problem that we do not solve. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to get rid of the cause, and not the effect.
“With increasing stress, if we have not learned to recognize our condition and cope with it, obsessive actions can develop into obsessive-compulsive disorder,” explains Eva Egorova. — If nervous habits take you more than an hour a day, affect your ability to work, self-esteem and relationships with others, you should contact a specialist and analyze the situation. And if compulsions are rare and do not bother you, you can perceive them as a variant of the normal manifestation of internal excitement.
But how to understand whether we have a bad habit or not? How to determine whether it is time to contact a specialist or can you do without it?
Check yourself
The expert suggests taking a simple test.
Imagine that a habit is a certain object that suddenly disappeared from your life. Then pay attention to your feelings. Do you feel restless and anxious when you find yourself in a world where there is no such object?
If so, then it can be assumed that the compulsive action has an important calming value. In this case, you can work with the habit, look for other ways to overcome stress, learn to recognize your excitement, pay attention to the manifestations of the body. It is better to do this with the help of a specialist. Sometimes the mere awareness of one’s condition helps to prevent the development of «nervous» habits or get rid of them.
If without an object (habit) you feel as calm as with it, then you can leave your little hobby and continue to braid fringe braids with pleasure.