A rational and very useful achievement of the European family — the lack of distribution of responsibilities between women and men, may seem controversial for a Russian person, but it works with a high degree of efficiency.
For example, the decision of who exactly in the family should earn money is taken from the real possibilities of the family, that is, the one who knows how to do it better earns. And there is no gender issue here. If, for the general benefit of the family, the spouses agree that the wife should go to a good job after maternity leave, because she will earn more than her husband, he will safely take over the function of the father on maternity leave, and paid. This is provided for by the state and justified by the rational law of life.
In a European family, in this situation, the opinion does not arise that the husband is a weakling and a dependent, and the wife is not a “draft horse” who “plows” to feed everyone. These are stereotypes rather of Russian society.
Of course, it is still difficult to apply such a model of the family in Russian reality, but people with a businesslike approach not only look closely at this model, but also live well in it, especially if they are not led by traditional public opinion.
The statistics are such that Russian women are ready and many would prefer such a family arrangement, but, unfortunately, the male half does not even want to try to take care of the household, children and parents, even if it is not possible to be responsible for earnings . They are ashamed to do this, but, unfortunately, they are not ashamed to earn little and not be included as compensation in the equal distribution of responsibilities for caring for the home and children.
A business-like approach to redistributing roles and responsibilities would be effective in the Russian family if women are given the task of calmly and confidently delegating household and child-rearing responsibilities to men, if a woman understands that in society she will achieve much more than her husband, will advance the family to a higher level. social level, as well as to teach men to disconnect from the social attitudes of society and begin to master a new model of self-realization.
It is easy for a European family to learn how to get along in different cultures.
In Europe, couples with very distant cultures get along well and are happy. European couples, due to cosmopolitanism, are most often mixed. In a couple there can be a Frenchwoman and a Moroccan, a Corsican and a Thai, a Libyan and a Serbian, no one is surprised by this now. Some cultures have more freedom to choose a partner in life, some are more traditional. For example, I happened to be at the wedding of an Indian and a Chinese woman in France, both speak French and the mixing of the two cultures still builds them according to the main way of life of the country in which they live, which means French. In such couples, the attitude is more tolerant of the traditional habits of their spouses.
Their art of tolerance consists not only in accepting the culture of a spouse, this is a matter of course, but most importantly, not to impose their culture on a partner, not to load him with traditions, duties and traditional rituals and habits.
This demonstrates the great achievement of the European family as a whole, the ability to live with respect for his partner, whom he loves, be proud of his choice and not pay attention to the prejudices of society.
At the heart of everything are the values formed by the independent life of a person in his youth, already outside the parental home. French youth, for example, gain experience of living together, trying out different cultures and learning to build relationships before starting a family, and not vice versa, as is often the case in Russia. Therefore, in France there are many families who sign after five or even ten years of marriage and are in no hurry to do this even after the birth of children.
In families where cultural peculiarities live normally and do not strain the atmosphere, their own original world is created, in which husband and wife are partners who can negotiate everything. In the event that someone in a couple insists more strongly on their traditionalism, there is a risk of separation, so this is already a matter of personal space and personal freedom of each.
The first unspoken law of a European couple: live according to the lifestyle of the country you have chosen, and share your culture as much as your partner is ready to accept. To become a cosmopolitan means to become a tolerant person towards all cultures without at the same time renouncing one’s own.
Russian spouses often face a misunderstanding of their foreign spouse when they introduce Russian jokes too actively. Phrases from favorite films such as: “Bambarbia to Kirgud” or “It’s a pity for the bird” sound especially stupid, since they create nothing but confusion for a person. You wanted to defuse the atmosphere, and your spouse, on the contrary, tensed up. A foreigner does not have the same experience of a humorous situation as you.
At first, out of courtesy and curiosity, a foreigner in love is intensely interested in the culture of a Russian wife in order to understand and accept, poor fellow, everything. But if she, in turn, actively and unnecessarily promotes it, suffocation by the new “incomprehensible” culture sets in, the partner becomes fed up, and interest in the person himself also subsides.
Dear Russians, choose jokes for your foreign wives and husbands that are understandable and funny not only to you alone, but to both of you! To do this, communicate more, listen, watch your soulmate with more attention and create better your common personal funny stories.