Animals awaken in children kindness, sensitivity, love for nature, teach responsibility and the ability to take care of those who are weaker. So, is it enough to have a pet – and a positive educational effect is guaranteed?
Hamsters or fish, turtles or rats, cats or dogs – we get them for various reasons, but always with the confidence that communication with them will benefit the child. The presence of an animal is really beneficial for children, psychologists confirm.
“There are many positives here. Firstly, this is communication with nature, which urban children are almost deprived of today, an approximation to a more natural course of life. Secondly, it is unconditional acceptance, which the child may lack. A cat or a dog is a creature that always rejoices at you, its behavior is always predictable. They give affection, stability, warm relationships, ”recalls child psychologist Tatyana Bednik.
“Animals expand the boundaries of the world for a child, show how diverse it can be and at the same time how fragile it is,” adds psychologist Alexandra Suchkova. “They teach responsibility for those who depend on us.”
Even if we sincerely love animals, this does not mean that the child will have contact with them by itself.
But it does not follow from this that one has only to get an animal, and it will automatically perform educational functions. All these wonderful things will happen only if we, parents, open them to the child. The key question is how we treat animals ourselves: do we love, are we careful with them. If parents look at an animal as a toy or an object of prestige, if they pour out aggression on it or are able to throw it out into the street, there will be nothing but harm for the child. But even if we sincerely love animals, this does not mean that the child will have contact with them by itself – we will have to build this contact step by step.
If a child asks for a dog
Many children ask to buy a dog, cat or other animal. But it is unlikely that parents wonder why. “Such a need usually indicates that the children are missing something in the family,” says Tatyana Bednik. – For example, if a child dreams of a big dog, he lacks a sense of security. If he wants a small dog or a cat, there is not enough emotional warmth.”
Often we agree to the request of the child on the condition that he takes care of the animal, at least partially. But we ourselves do not always believe that this will work out. And then the child gets tired of taking care of the pet, and one of the adults is forced to take care of it.
You can only take a pet into the house when all family members agree with it.
“Therefore, the parent should think: am I ready to share responsibility with the child? Will I be able to ensure that he fulfills his obligations? Alexandra Suchkova says. And you need to achieve it not with shouts and reproaches: only calm adult perseverance works here.
“Do not blame the child if he grumbles and says that he does not want to, for example, get up earlier and walk the dog. Let him experience these feelings: “Yes, I understand you, but it is necessary to take a walk.” When he learns to make an effort of will for the sake of a being that depends on him, this will be a wonderful result.
We entrust the child with the duties that he can do at his age, notes Tatyana Bednik: “First, we help him take care of the animal; if we see that he is coping, we gradually let go of control so that he acts more independently, and so gradually, as he grows, we transfer more and more responsibility to him.
Before making a decision
You can take an animal into the house only when all family members agree with it. If, for example, the father passionately wanted to get a dog, but the mother is afraid of dogs, the child may suffer, to whom her fear is transmitted.
And it’s better to do allergy tests for the whole family in advance, so that later you don’t have to “give your pet into good hands”, injuring the child with forced separation. However, it happens that the test results are negative, and yet after a while someone has an allergic reaction. This is a reason to turn to a psychologist.
“In family therapy, the animal is seen as part of the family system,” explains Alexandra Suchkova. – His appearance in the house can bring to the surface problems that were habitually repressed in the family. And allergy here can act as a psychophysical reaction. If this is the case, then, having understood the causes of allergies, we will be able to get rid of it.
How to teach children empathy
Anyone who has had animals knows how beneficial they are for our psychological (and sometimes physical) well-being. Communication with them is especially useful for anxious, sensitive children. “In contact with an animal, a child gains confidence, because here he is in charge, he dictates the rules,” explains Alexandra Suchkova. – This is clearly seen when children are engaged with their dog from an instructor-cynologist and he shows how it can be controlled.
I know more than one example when, after a year, such children became more collected in their studies, they no longer had to be forced to do their homework, they could organize themselves.” Communication with animals brings us not only joy, but also inevitable suffering. Their age is short compared to ours, sooner or later we lose them. It depends on the parents how the child will survive this.
“If we pretend that there is no death, that we do not grieve, then we will not help him learn to mourn losses and get out of them,” says the psychologist. “Behind the denial lies a great fear. And in the future, this fear may prevent the child from creating close relationships: he will avoid them so as not to experience loss. Our complicity in his grief is very important. “You need to be with him, talk to him, maybe cry, showing that you are going through the same thing as him, hug, try to imagine where the animals go together.” Such an experience of common experience will be healing for the child.