By the way we conduct a conversation, and by our intonation, we can determine whether we are happy with the interlocutor or not. Our voice is not just a tool for influencing others, but also an excellent decipherer of our emotions and secret thoughts.
We see an unfamiliar number on the smartphone screen and politely and calmly say: “Hello”. And then we find out that the indefatigable “Dima Bilan” or the manager of an investment company or bank who miraculously got out of the black list is again offering us something. And at that very moment, something happens to our voice. We douse the interlocutor with cold and with the words “No, thank you, I’m not interested in this,” we interrupt the conversation.
And it happens otherwise. An unfamiliar voice informs us that the company we sent our resume to is inviting us for an interview. Our hearts overflow with joy, and we suddenly almost squeal into the phone: “Oh, great, great, when?” When we hang up the phone, we bashfully ask ourselves: was it possible to chirp even higher – so that the glass in the closet shattered?
Let’s face it: these situations are familiar to most of us. For each category of people, we have “our own voice”: for parents – one, for a cashier in a supermarket – another, for a boss – a third. But why? The voice often gives us away – what we feel and what we think. Researchers have studied this phenomenon and found out what makes us change our voice when communicating with certain people.
A high voice symbolizes humility
In the study, the researchers asked subjects to first assess themselves using standard general questions and then take part in a simulated interview. As expected, many participants spoke to the interlocutor not in their usual voice, but in a much higher one.
Dr. Victoria Mileva from the University of Stirling (Scotland) explains it this way: “Feeling that the interlocutor dominates, we raise the tone of voice. This may be a sign of submission. We let the listener know that we are not a danger to him, and thus avoid possible confrontations.
It sounds logical: for example, at an interview, we want to do everything to please the future bosses and demonstrate our willingness to play by their rules. Scientists have found that both men and women tend to speak in a higher voice with superior colleagues or management.
Exceptions prove the rule
The experiment was not without exceptions: if the subjects considered themselves to be higher in status (this was reflected in their questionnaires at the beginning of the test), they did not “squeal” and did not “squeak” like yellow rubber duckies. And although during the “interview” they did not speak in their usual tone, the changes were insignificant. Moreover, the tone did not change at all if the participants felt superior to the researchers (in some cases, there was even a decrease in tone).
In other words, if your voice never changes, whether you’re talking to your boss, the pizza guy, or your mother-in-law, you can be congratulated: you’re extremely confident.
However, the main question is whether it is possible to learn how to control the tone of speech. Yes and no. Although there are many courses in public speaking today, it is almost impossible to change outwardly without gaining an inner sense of self-confidence. That is what is worth working on.