What are the funniest and strangest delusions you had as a child?

Times Roman, designer

As a child, I thought that speed bumps on the roads were the graves of real policemen. I thought it was such a tradition that dead traffic cops should serve even after their death, forcing drivers to slow down.

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• When do you feel lonely?

Lera Grai, graphic designer

My great-grandmother had a “red corner” in the house. In this corner hung such a large icon with the image of Jesus. But he was depicted in a Catholic manner, not an Orthodox one. Because of this, the icon looked more like a portrait. Jesus was depicted there as such a bearded guy with kind eyes and in red and blue clothes. Without any light and halos. And, of course, my grandmother often prayed and was baptized in front of this icon. As a child, this occupied me very much, and I puzzled over who this uncle was on the wall and why my grandmother talked to him so often. As a result, the thought came into my brilliant childish head that this is my grandfather! It’s just that he, apparently, died, and my grandmother misses him very much and loves him. So for several years I considered Jesus my grandfather and even said to him: “Hi, grandfather” when I passed this icon.

Violetta Berezhnaya

I thought that all television programs were “online”. And if Igor Nikolaev sings at three in the morning on TV, it means that he was called from home and there is nothing to be done about it, you are a star, you have to.

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• What is the difference between opinion and delusion

Sasha Rusinova, student

When I heard a reasoning voice in my head (that is, thoughts), I thought that I was a sorceress and that only I could talk without saying a word out loud. She believed that other people did not know how to think.

Alexander Kolesnilov, system administrator

I thought that television works in both directions – that is, if I see Yakubovich in the “Field of Miracles”, then he sees me at that moment, but he cannot reach me. Used it and showed him the fact.

Konstantin Sergeev

I thought that at the age of 18 I would be a completely adult smart uncle, and immediately after graduation from the university, they would wait for me with my diploma everywhere with open arms. I also thought that all adults are smart, kind and always right. Now it’s really funny.

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• How do we cry (and laugh)?

Diana Sviridenko, designer

I thought that “untuning the piano” by thoughtlessly clapping the keys was an insult to the musical taste of this instrument. It seems to understand music, and it is very unpleasant for him to play this nonsense. It gets upset.

Dmitry Razorenov, chemist

When I saw someone die in a movie, I thought the murder was actually happening. They told me that this is an actor, but I understood it this way: the actors simply resigned themselves to such a fate and are ready at one moment to act in films where they actually die.

Angelina Kozlova

She was sure that dad spoke all the languages ​​​​of the world. When I asked him to speak in any language, he never refused and willingly gave out a set of sounds.

Regina Gotova, journalist

She perceived the word “authorized” in her own way (fell wet). I wondered why some kind of bungler was always sent on important tasks and, on every occasion, his unfortunate fall was remembered. And the phrase “TASS is authorized to announce” suggested some kind of magical talking basin, broadcasting every time it was dropped.

Elena U. Novikova, designer

Went to school in 1990. They didn’t talk much about Lenin anymore, but all the textbooks were full of his portraits / quotes / precepts. So it was written, they say, grandfather Lenin is such and such. And I was very interested in who this Lena was and why so much was written about her grandfather in books.

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• Why did Facebook introduce new emoji instead of likes and what does it mean for all of us?

Sergei Korol, editor

In our family there was a saying “A step in the ruble?”, They say, is it difficult to go for something, to move for the sake of business? As a child, I thought that it sounds differently: “Shah, I’ll chop it!”.

Lisa Kotova

Once at the dacha, grandfather and uncle were repairing a car. And now the uncle from the inspection hole shouts to the grandfather: “Give me the pliers!”. I thought it was an adverb in a comparative degree: better, more authentic, more flattering.

Olga Bakurova, student

Until the age of fifteen, I admired the lead singer of the Cheerful Guys group, because it seemed to me an impossible task to get pink roses from a falcon branch for a classmate – well, a falcon can peck, he also guards flowers on a branch.

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• Communication is a drug: it produces a “molecule of bliss”

Ivan Kuzmin, videographer

For a long time I was convinced that I was an Octobrist. After all, I was born in October!

For a long time I believed in Akhalai Mahalai, a mystical character invented by my grandfather. He always arranged it as if Akhalay had been here just a minute ago, but as soon as I entered the room, he disappeared.

Ekaterina Baranovskaya

As a child, dad looked at the planes flying over us and told me that he saw a man at the window, he was reading a newspaper … (squinted, as if peering) – Izvestia. And he added that he could not see the title, unfortunately. Of course, I believed, because dad had farsightedness, and to what extent its possibilities extend – who knows!

Olga Tikhonova, student

As a child, I was very fond of the song “The wind blew from the sea” and was absolutely sure that the singer sings “the wind from the sea Doo”. The same with Lyube’s song “Moscow Streets”, it seemed to me, “buns”. And yes, when someone annoyedly said that there were traffic jams, I imagined that there were a lot of traffic jams scattered on the roads, and I sincerely did not understand why no one liked them!

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• Are there words or phrases that inexplicably irritate you?

Nadya Paschenko, student

I have never eaten watermelon pits because someone told me that they can grow a watermelon in my stomach. And pregnant women were a good example for me.

In the kindergarten, they were frightened by the fact that if you grimace a lot (in front of a mirror), your face will remain that way for life. I believed without a doubt.

Zoya Gaiduchenko, musician

I was sure that my parents regularly threatened me: “Be patient, goat, otherwise you will be a mother!” I didn’t want to be a mother at such a young age, and even more so a goat.

See the original answer at Online TheQuestion service.