Contents
- 0–2 months: Already a person
- 2–4,5 months: start of communication
- 7 months: assertion of one’s “I”
- 10-12 months: first steps
- 18 months: all the way around
- 2 years: impersonation
- 3 years: struggle for independence
- 4 years: the era of “why?”
- 5 years: continuous complaints
- 6–7 years old: age of reason
- 8-10 years old: ability to learn
- 11–12 years old: end of childhood
Many are worried: is my child lagging behind the “norm”? Child psychologist Tatyana Bednik comments on the main stages of his growth and development. This will help you adapt your behavior to them.
0–2 months: Already a person
Child behavior. He is staring at your face, or looking at something as simple as the “pillars” of a crib, a patch of sunlight. His world is the world of feelings. Each baby reacts differently to hunger, motion sickness, the desire to sleep, but all children feel the effect of sounds: smooth and soothing, sharp and exciting.
your behaviour. Smile, look into his eyes, talk to him so that he feels: you understand him. Learn to decipher his feelings.
2–4,5 months: start of communication
Child behavior. The world is what is in sight. Having dropped the rattle, he will not look for it: I don’t see it, so it doesn’t exist. He freezes when he sees your face, hears your voice, smiles and hums. Of all adults, he singles out the mother (or the person who replaces her). He finds her with his eyes, trying to get her attention. In different situations, his cry sounds different, he learns to “manage” his mother.
your behaviour. You can see the first signs of his temperament, understand what calms and offends him, why he is crying now. Do not be shy about your feelings: rejoice at him, caress, take him in your arms, repeat his sounds, but do not “lisp” – behave naturally. Change toys from time to time, let’s feel them, “test” them with our gums.
7 months: assertion of one’s “I”
Child behavior. He knows how to sit down, take, examine and throw toys, recognizes the voices of loved ones and highlights his name in the stream of words. He understands you, begins to control his behavior: he looks for a familiar object, makes simple movements (“Wave your pen!”). He distinguishes faces, cries when he sees a stranger, and begins to interfere in the conversations of adults, pronouncing separate syllables.
your behaviour. Tell him about what is happening at the moment, pause so that he can “speak out”, otherwise he will get bored. Demonstrate how to act with objects (light bulb turns on, etc.). And always explain your requirements.
In your rhythm
Your child is a special person. His psyche develops individually, in due time. Experts always talk about a statistically average age. Do not sound the alarm if your child is “delayed” in development: someone starts walking earlier, someone cannot master the alphabet for a long time … Everything has its time. But if your anxiety persists, be sure to contact your pediatrician and psychologist.
10-12 months: first steps
Child behavior. He opens the concept of “territory”. He is interested in everything he sees – new people and objects. He tries to walk, eat and drink on his own. Pronounces the first words. Sad when mom is not around.
your behaviour. “Security”, “freedom” and “discipline” are the new words in your life. Remove things that cannot be touched: he should move freely, exploring everything that interests him. Learn to set boundaries and say no, but do it as little as possible. Learn to distract him and switch attention.
18 months: all the way around
Child behavior. He learns to oppose himself to you, says “No!” to everything, makes scandals. But it can also be obedient, charmingly affectionate.
your behaviour. Try to be calm and patient: in order to become independent, he must practice positive and negative feelings.
2 years: impersonation
Child behavior. His actions become purposeful. Now the main thing for him is not what he does with the objects, but the result. He prefers real objects to toys. When playing, he imitates someone all the time: this is how he tries to understand the world around him.
your behaviour. Do not rush to help if something does not work out for him. It is important for the child to cope with what was previously not possible. Teach him to play without trying to correct, encourage imitation.
3 years: struggle for independence
Child behavior. He knows what he wants, thinks he can achieve it, and is ready to defend this right. But he is dissatisfied with everything that you offer him, quarrels with you and sometimes behaves very aggressively.
your behaviour. Keep a positive attitude towards him and yourself. Don’t get into endless arguments. Allow everything that is not dangerous for him and others. Ban hard, but not too often. Respect his intentions and, if possible, leave the choice to him.
4 years: the era of “why?”
A wonderful age: children bombard us with questions, answer them in their own way and build their own picture of the world, in which the magical and the real easily coexist. Now the main thing for him is to show himself as knowledgeable, equal to an adult.
your behaviour. Respect his inventions, stimulate the imagination, always answer questions.
5 years: continuous complaints
Child behavior. Now he is interested in people, their actions, he wants to understand what is good and what is bad. And constantly complaining about someone.
your behaviour. His complaints are a way to master the norms of life. Confirm the rules, talk about the inappropriateness of complaints, never call him “sneak”, try to understand what really bothers him.
6–7 years old: age of reason
Child behavior. He knows many games, invents plots for them, plays different roles. He wants to become more mature, to know more, to go to school. This is the time when children’s immediacy is lost.
your behaviour. Support his desire to play, create conditions for playing with peers. Accept his growing up and say goodbye forever to the former child. If something has been missed, on the threshold of the school it’s time to reconsider your educational positions and start all over again.
8-10 years old: ability to learn
Child behavior. He learned to learn: he subordinates his own “wants” to the required “needs”, he is critical of himself, he can trace the process of his own change (“who I was” and “who I became”).
your behaviour. Listen to him. Do not immediately answer the question posed, look for what is behind it. Do not evaluate, but clarify, ask questions and, as carefully as possible, “remove” your opinion in brackets. Leave time for precious conversations for his soul about nothing.
11–12 years old: end of childhood
Child behavior. The most important people become his peers, and he must somehow become the best among them. And your authority falls, he learns that you are not omnipotent. But still he needs tenderness, reliable guidelines, trusting, on an equal footing, communication with adults.
your behaviour. Respect his right to his own experience, inner world, his territory. Help him to be himself, take care of the sincerity and goodwill of your relationship.