“What am I, sick?”: why we are afraid of psychotherapy

Fear #1: I will find out something terrible about myself

Marina Travkova, systemic family psychotherapist

Many fear that the psychologist will “pull out” something dark and terrible from them. Another common fear is being blamed for your own problems. It seems that the therapist will evaluate your life and tell you what went wrong in it, what mistakes you made.

In fact, the psychologist does not evaluate, does not condemn, and does not have the right to draw dark biography facts from clients. You may choose not to answer painful or seemingly inappropriate questions. The specialist is also required to take care of your condition during consultations, creating an emotionally safe space.

In addition, it is scary and hard for us precisely because we are “locked” inside ourselves with our problems and secrets and cannot share them with others. At the reception with a psychologist, we often find out that we are not alone, that what is happening to us is characteristic of many people.

Fear #2: The therapist will manipulate me

Vladimir Snigur, psychotherapist, hypnologist

Our imagination often endows a psychotherapist with the features of a telepath or a manipulator who will force him to lay out all the ins and outs, hypnotize, delve into the past, reopen past wounds …

This is far from reality. The main task of the psychotherapist is to treat any decisions of the client with respect and care and help him overcome the difficulties that have arisen. A psychologist is only a guide, he will not force you to go where you do not want, but will offer you to choose the path yourself, will accompany you and help you in the most difficult areas.

Fear #3: I will become addicted to psychotherapy

Polina Soldatova, psychologist, gestalt therapist

The therapist’s job is to help you find a way to take care of yourself. Choosing a specialist, you can focus on his approach. At the end of the first session, the therapist will offer you a contract, which will determine the recommended number and frequency of meetings. Usually 5-10 sessions are enough to understand if a specialist is right for you and if there is a dynamic in work.

At any point in therapy, you can ask questions that interest you: what exactly is the therapist doing right now? How does he evaluate the progress of your joint work?

You can also agree to change the frequency of appointments, pause or stop therapy.

Fear #4: Psychotherapy Doesn’t Work – It’s Just Talk

Natalya Kiselnikova, Deputy Director of the Psychological Institute of the Russian Academy of Education, head. psychological counseling laboratory

Many studies confirm the effectiveness of psychotherapy. Those who receive psychotherapeutic help show better indicators of psychological health than those who only wait to work with a psychologist or do nothing at all to change the situation.

Recently, 475 studies were analyzed that compared groups of people undergoing psychotherapy with control groups. The conclusions leave no room for doubt: clients who have undergone psychotherapy feel better than 80% of participants in the control group.

Another study found that by the eighth session of psychotherapy, about half of the clients had measurable improvements, and by the end of six months of weekly psychotherapy, 75% of clients noted positive changes.

Fear #5: The psychologist will tell my loved ones about my problems

Svetlana Yablonskaya, crisis psychologist, speech therapist

One of the main principles of the work of a psychologist-consultant is confidentiality. This means that he not only has no right to disclose the content of your conversations with him to anyone, but also cannot confirm or refute the very fact that you turned to him.

The boundaries of confidentiality: what and to whom can a psychologist tell about you?

That is why, having met a client in a public place, we will not be the first to greet – not out of impoliteness, but because, perhaps, he will not want to disclose the fact of our acquaintance. But of course, we will gladly answer the greeting.

Fear #6: The therapist only wants my money

Yulia Zakharova, clinical psychologist, cognitive-behavioral psychotherapist

Some clients fear that psychologists will extract money from them. Yes, indeed, psychological counseling and psychotherapy are expensive. At the same time, there is no guarantee that by spending a certain amount, the client will solve his problem.

How much does psychotherapy cost?

It is impossible to know in advance how many sessions will be required in each case. Methods that work well for one client may not work at all for another. Therefore, experienced psychologists and psychotherapists spend a lot of time setting goals and tracking their achievement together with clients. This helps clients see the overall direction of work, intermediate results and reduces such concerns.

Fear number 7: only sick people turn to psychologists

Alexander Pokryshkin, child psychologist, play therapist

Based on this logic, only mediocre mothers take a nanny to their child, and only criminals turn to a lawyer. If you remember that a psychologist helps to make life a little more conscious, everything becomes much easier.

It is important to understand that psychotherapy is not a last resort. This is a service that can be used at any time when there is a need to understand what is happening and better understand yourself.

Fear #8: The psychologist will put me on the pills

Valeria Fedoryak, psychologist, gestalt therapist

To begin with, it is important to understand the terms. A psychologist is a person with a higher psychological education. Usually he is not a doctor and does not have the necessary knowledge to prescribe pharmacological treatment for you. However, often the psychologist collaborates with a fellow psychiatrist, to whom he can refer you, if necessary, for consultation and appointments.

Unfortunately, many of us are afraid of psychiatrists. The punitive psychiatry of the Soviet times, as well as numerous artistic images in cinema and literature, played their role here. It is important to understand that the modern reality is completely different.

Taking medications that are properly selected by a doctor makes psychotherapy more effective. Thanks to pills, a person receives a resource for working in a therapist’s office. And in the treatment of depression, for example, the combination of psychotherapy and medication is now considered the most effective approach.

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Did you find your fear among the ones listed above? Ask yourself what this fear is protecting you from. It is possible that its influence extends to different areas of your life, preventing you from taking important steps. By understanding what we are protecting ourselves from, we begin to see what needs to be changed, and we open ourselves to these changes.