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While those lucky ones who have already found a mate are emptying shop windows and flower shops on the eve of February 14, for single people this day can be a serious reason for longing. How to feel happy on Valentine’s Day, even if you have no one to share his romantic fuss with?
Pink candles, hearts on postcards, balloons with declarations of love… The beginning of February is the quintessence of romantic stereotypes, and even if you are skeptical about Hollywood movie clichés, it is simply impossible to hide from them these days. This is especially true for single people – they feel enormous pressure from society, which literally tells them: “If you have no one to celebrate Valentine’s Day with, then you are a loser.” Those of us who have already seen this holiday in schools remember very well how embarrassing it was not to receive a single “valentine” from the secret box. And the echoes of this feeling, many of us carried into adulthood.
“Loners often criticize this holiday because they need a psychological justification for their own insecurities: “I can’t be happy with other people’s relationships because I myself am lonely,” says James Mourey, associate professor at the University of Chicago. De Paul (DePaul University). They tend to attribute achievements and successes to themselves, but blame external factors for failures. So, by reasoning in the vein of “Valentine’s Day is a stupid holiday that gift shops speculate on to increase revenue,” they just want to justify their dissatisfaction.
But those who have no one to go to a gala dinner on February 14 should remember that this day is not only an occasion to celebrate their romantic relationships, but also a chance to express love to everyone with whom we are close. It can be celebrated with parents, friends, colleagues – everyone who has influenced our lives in one way or another, bringing warmth, care and understanding to it. Or maybe just dedicate this day to yourself. “Not all people are acutely experiencing their loneliness on February 14,” says family psychologist Daria Utkina. For some, this is a mature and conscious choice. Moreover, the ability to be alone and feel whole at the same time usually comes with experience and age. And when Valentine’s Day brings sadness about the absence of a partner, you can think: what am I missing in myself? What will a partner bring into my life that I don’t have now and that I really want? And of course – how else can I get it?
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- love your loneliness
And if you don’t want to indulge in sad thoughts about your personal life on this day, we offer you several ways to spend it for the benefit of yourself and others.
Treat yourself
Buy yourself a beautiful postcard or a bouquet of flowers (anyway, no one will do it better than you!), devote a day to shopping – on this occasion, you can afford to buy something that you have long dreamed of, but did not dare. Shops can replace a spa with pleasant treatments that will make you forget about any experience for a few hours. After all, a good book, music or a delicious dinner is a way to enjoy the holiday and be alone.
Spend time with friends
Plan dinner or go to the movies with your best friends. Or arrange a “Singles Party”, where you invite everyone who has not yet found a mate. Do not forget: after all, someone else can dream of love on this day!
Help those in need
Valentine’s Day is a good occasion to give support and care to those who feel abandoned and alone. You can visit an orphanage or a nursing home – there are definitely people there who need manifestations of love. Bring them flowers or a card, spend time together – after all, this is what February 14th exists for, so that each of us feels that he is loved.
Express your love to family and friends
Instead of feeling ashamed that you don’t have a loved one to spend the day with, express your affection, gratitude, and love to those you care about. Congratulate your neighbors, relatives, friends – you can come up with unusual surprises and gifts for this, thus feeling like a part of the general holiday.
Focus on future relationships
Watching the romantic hustle and bustle from the side, you can devote this day to planning your future: what needs to be done to find your loved one and build with him the relationship that you dream of? What qualities do you need to develop in yourself for this to happen? Take steps to spend your next Valentine’s day with someone who makes you truly happy.