When we take in too much information from the outside world, whether it be words, smells, or touch, our basic needs are affected. Writer Jen Granneman recalls what things a person with high sensitivity finds it difficult to live without.
“Growing up, I was a very sensitive child,” says Jan Granneman. — One of my earliest memories is a strong tantrum from some sad news seen on TV. I don’t know what it was about, but I remember how I ran into the bedroom, plugging my ears, and immediately composed a song in the spirit of “everything will be fine.” I sang it as loudly as I could to drown out the sound of the TV, until finally my mother came into the room. She was shocked to find me in such an agitated state. Later, I learned that such a strong reaction is one of the characteristics of highly sensitive people (HSP). Then everything finally fell into place.”
People with hypersensitivity take in information particularly deeply and, as a result, perceive the world a little differently than others. A scene of violence or a story of unhappy love may be unbearable for them. Like sudden loud noises, bright lights, and busy work schedules, these can all throw HSPs off balance.
Jen Granneman became a writer and created an online community of introverts. While studying HSP, she found that sensitive people need several things to be happy. Of course, the details vary as each person is different.
1. Slower and simpler rhythm of life. They move and generally act a little slower than others. They need more time to make decisions and complete certain tasks, such as getting ready and leaving the house in the morning. Or the choice of products in the store, where it is important for them to check the appearance, expiration date and review the list of nutrients.
They might think about what chicken noodle soup looks like, and then suddenly imagine how chickens are kept in incubators, how they are then killed. And then it will take them a couple more minutes to decide if they can live with this reality on their plate. All this takes time.
2. A quiet place to calm down after a busy day. Like introverts, HSPs struggle with hours of activity, mental or physical. Their hypersensitive nervous systems take in a huge amount of information and process it to the nearest hundredth. As a result, by the end of the working day, they feel completely exhausted.
They need somewhere to relax and relieve nervous excitement. For recovery, a walk in the park or relaxing in a calm, beautifully decorated space with dim lighting and favorite things (book, music, comfortable pillow, etc.) is best.
3. Permission to openly express emotions and cry. HSPs are not only acutely sensitive to environmental cues, but also emotionally sensitive. According to the first researcher of this psychological type, Dr. Elaine Ayron, sensitive people cannot hide what they feel. They cry more often than others, always show their anger or joy. It is important that others allow and appreciate it.
4. Time to adjust to change. Change is unsettling for all of us, but for highly sensitive people it is a particularly powerful source of stress. Even positive changes, such as starting a new relationship or moving into a better home, overwhelm them and require an additional adjustment period.
5. Close, meaningful relationships. They may be bored or anxious in relationships that lack deep content. Therefore, sensitive people tend to be selective about who they let into their lives. Surface contacts of the «give-take» level do not suit them. They strive for complete spiritual contact. Give it to them.
6. A gentle, healthy way to manage conflict. Conflicts are not pleasant to anyone, but they scare sensitive people so much that they prefer to sort things out within themselves. They hate to hurt other people because they know from personal experience how terrible it is.
HSPs tend to have high levels of empathy, and avoiding conflict is one way to show concern for others. Unfortunately, this means that sensitive people often hide their needs and just go with the flow. They need a healthy way of resolving disagreements that eliminates yelling and arguing.
7. Healthy eating and adequate sleep. Sleep deprivation will make anyone cranky and overwrought. But for HSP it is simply unbearable. Just like hunger: it also completely unsettles. The result is a loss of concentration, a bad mood, a lost day. Regular meals and a good night’s sleep are the key to daily well-being.
8. Having a goal. Many people drift through life without direction or purpose. For HCL, this is unthinkable. They think deeply about their purpose in life. Who are they, why are they here, and why were they sent to this planet? Whether it’s writing a novel, traveling the world, or leading a cause they believe in, sensitive people crave meaningful challenges.
9. Understanding people nearby. Most people are not overly sensitive, they just don’t understand what it’s like to be exhausted from being in a noisy place. Or be on your nerves after a 15-minute subway ride during rush hour. It’s terribly upset when you see a scene of violence in a movie. Not everyone is so exhausted, and that’s fine.
But what HSPs need is at least two or three close people who really understand them. And not only understand, but also able to protect against overexcitation. “Yes, we will leave this evening right now. I see that you are very tired. This is fine. Go».
10. Nature and beauty. The environment affects all of us. However, in the case of HSP, this connection is even deeper. Daily contact with nature is extremely important for them, and also the aesthetics of what surrounds them. A cluttered, chaotic, or just plain ugly environment can unsettle them. And beauty is a balm that rejuvenates and soothes.
About the Expert: Jen Granneman is the author of The Secret Lives of Introverts.