And also more often we condemn betrayal and do not recognize sex without love. What does it really mean? Numbers and comments.
Together with the sociologists of the Levada Center, we continue to compile a portrait of Russian society. This time we were interested in the intimate side of life, especially since we found a reason: Valentine’s Day, February 23 and March 8, following each other.
24% of respondents believe that having a lover or mistress is quite acceptable, 63% strongly disagree with this, another 13% could not make a choice*. In general, Russian society has shown itself to be highly moral. Especially considering that the possibility of sex without love is strongly rejected by 49% of respondents, and only 33% admit it. However, Levada Center sociologist Karina Pipia suggests not to take these figures literally: “Russians in this case give socially approved answers, but this does not mean that they do not change or do not think about it.” Participants in other surveys, for example, say that smoking or using foul language is unacceptable, she said. But they admit that they themselves smoke and use foul language.
Psychotherapist and sexologist Irina Panyukova draws attention to another aspect. “From my own experience, I know that, for example, a man who allows thoughts of sex outside of marriage can be an excellent family man and exemplary perform all his other functions – husband, father, breadwinner,” she says. – He may experience a decrease in sexual desire for a partner who is otherwise satisfied with him. And then one thought about the permissibility of betrayal or about a relationship on the side is enough to save the family.
As for sex without love, Irina Panyukova is categorical: a physiologically mature person does not need to experience love in order to enjoy sex. In contrast, survey participants tend to consider extramarital affairs and sex without love unacceptable. The number of those who consider these phenomena normal has decreased over two years by 10% and 7%, respectively. However, Karina Pipia does not see this as a revision of the value system. “In recent years, we have been talking a lot about “spiritual bonds,” encouraging traditionalism and Orthodoxy,” she says. “It puts pressure on society to publicly agree with the currently accepted attitudes.” And partly, perhaps, to learn them in practice. A sexologist offers a paradoxical solution: in order to defend traditional family values, one should not prohibit talking about sex, but should be more actively involved in sexual education: “After all, if you have sex with only one partner, he should be the best for you in sexual terms. Therefore, one must learn how to maintain sexual relations with the same person, given that they are constantly changing throughout life.
* The survey was conducted on January 23–26, 2015, see Levada.ru