We threw ourselves into helping Ukraine. The psychologist explains what drove us

Ukraine, which was attacked by Our Country, and the people fleeing the hell of war, are now being helped by all of Poland. And in this whirlwind of helping, we have united almost completely. The world is watching this and expressing its admiration for us. Is the rush of helping we experience a unique phenomenon? “Yes and no,” says social psychologist Dr. Maria Baran. In an interview with Medonet, she explained what happened to us during these several days, but also what we must be careful about in this situation.

  1. Is the spurt of helping, which we are currently observing in Poland, an unusual phenomenon? Social psychologist: The phenomenon itself is not unusual. But now, in this whirlwind of helping, we are almost completely united. In the face of the enormity of the misfortune brought about by the war, this is really something beautiful ».
  2. Dr. Baran: We know from research that mobilization is followed by a weakening of support. And now the most important question: how much strength will there be and what to do so that the resources do not suddenly run out? There will be more and more people in need
  3. How to help wisely? For help to make sense, it must meet the needs of people who require support. In this whirlwind of helping, we must also remember about ourselves. “It’s not about needing support yourself after some time” – says Dr. Baran and explains what is worth paying attention to
  4. More information can be found on the Onet homepage
  5. What’s going on in Ukraine? Follow the broadcast live

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Dr. Maria Baran, social and intercultural psychologist specializing in acculturation, cultural contact and cultural identity. Assistant professor at the Department of Psychology at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities in Warsaw. Member of the International Association for Cross-Cultural Psychology and the Polish Association of Social Psychology. Involved in research on the long-term effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on the well-being of Poles (with particular emphasis on the role of social support) and in research on identification with the whole of humanity.

Monika Mikołajska / Medonet: The whole of Poland is helping Ukraine today. This great spurt is admired in the world. Are we unique in this respect?

Dr. Maria Baran, social and intercultural psychologist: Yes and no. The phenomenon itself is not unusual or unheard of. Usually, when there is a threat, social support is mobilized and we simply help. It was similar at the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic. I think we all remember the time when nobody knew what we were really dealing with, people sewed masks, did their neighbors shopping. We mobilized.

Research analyzing the ways people react to disasters indicate the so-called altruism born out of suffering. In other words, in response to the threat, we start to get involved in helping. It has been proven that those affected by the disaster, instead of focusing on their own suffering, start helping the weakest. The mechanism behind this is identification with the victims. If some misfortune touches me, but others also struggle with problems, we become part of a whole, a feeling of “we” is created. We feel that we need to support and help ourselves.

However, while the pandemic has affected us all, now the people of Ukraine are the victims. On the other hand, they are our neighbors …

What’s more, by the end of last year, Ukrainians accounted for over 50 percent of the population. all foreigners in our country. So we managed to get to know them, some of them have acquaintances, friends and neighbors. Now we hear that many men drop everything and come back to Ukraine to fight. This must affect us. Because they are not strangers. We are also culturally similar. This identification, the creation of “we” is easy here. And it is happening. This makes it easier for us to join in helping. We feel that we are doing it on a common cause.

The rest of the material for the video.

We have already said why the act of helping Poles is not unique. Time to explain why it is also an unusual phenomenon.

The social context has changed dramatically. While at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic we were dealing with a division or polarization among Poles, now in this whirlwind of helping, we have become almost completely united. In the face of the enormity of the misfortune that the war has brought, this is truly something beautiful. And I think that we all feel that we missed it. It exploded in us on an unprecedented scale. It is a bit as if we woke up in a new Poland.

Support for the residents of Ukraine:

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Some people wonder how long it will take. Sometimes I hear opinions that soon only the most persistent ones will remain, and that the old divisions will return. How can it go?

We do not know how long the conflict will last, we all wish it to end as soon as possible with a known result. What is certain, however, is that the time of division will come back. May it happen later than before. Let this spark that ignited Poles’ solidarity last as long as possible. Now that so many people need help, the last thing we need is arguments in our own backyard.

However, we know from research that after mobilization, support weakens. Resources are shrinking, including financial resources, people get tired and we are starting to get used to the situation a bit. This was also the case during the pandemic. And now the most important question: how long will the forces last and what to do so that the resources do not suddenly run out. Especially since we do not know how long the -Ukrainian conflict will last. There are many unknowns. Certainly, however, there will be more people who need help.

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The chaos of war doesn’t make it any easier. How, then, to help wisely? What to do so that the effect is the best and the effort is not wasted?

Wherever people’s lives change from day to day, chaos appears. The main problems reported by volunteers are the lack of coordination and systemic help, but it is understandable that such an organization takes time. However, more than two weeks have passed since Our Country’s aggression against Ukraine, and as reported by organizations and community activists, this help from the government is still lacking.

The second important issue – for help to be meaningful, it must meet the needs of people requiring support. A prosaic example: before I go to the collection point, I check what things are needed. There are incidents when someone sees it as an opportunity to get rid of unnecessary things. The gifts reportedly included a diving suit or a wedding dress … This is not helping. This is not the case at all. So we must remember why we help at all.

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You also need to help wisely, i.e. so that we do not burn out.

This is another very important thing. The spurt of helping that we have in Poland is beautiful, but we must also remember about ourselves. This is difficult. People who engage in help out of their hearts can easily get lost in it. You can work at full capacity for a few days, a week, then we can’t do it anymore.

We must also consider what form of help we can really offer, how much we can give, what we will find better in (some will feel better as volunteers, others, offering financial support or specific services) and how to distribute these forces so that they will suffice. as long as possible. You also need to define the limit of your possibilities. After all, it is not about needing support yourself after some time. We should also remember that the situation will be more and more difficult, and there will be more and more people in need. There will be plenty of opportunities to help.

I would like to look at helping from another angle. It has long been said that we live in times of social insensitivity. We know situations when someone did not help, e.g. a person lying at a bus stop. We also remember the split when it comes to migrants on the Polish-Belarusian border. I have also heard opinions that some people are willing to help Ukrainians, but there are doubts about other nations also fleeing the war. So how is it with our helping?

What is happening now shows that we are empathetic and solidarity. Unfortunately, we are not perfect and the situation on the Polish-Belarusian border casts a shadow over this altruism towards Ukrainians. We touch here, among others identification issues. This is not our national flaw, because stereotypes and ethnocentrism are universal phenomena. Why are Poles more willing to help people of Ukrainian nationality? Largely because it is easier for us to identify with them. We speak a similar language, we have a similar culture. We are not afraid. On the other hand, in the case of any diversity and dissimilarity, also lack of knowledge, fear and distrust appear. Fortunately, there are initiatives that direct help to other groups as well. I’m glad people picked it up and reacted.

As for the anesthesia you are talking about, in fact, when we see someone lying on the street and no one reacts, probably no one will react. The first “hero” is needed to break out of the crowd and see if such a person requires help or not. We look at how the people around us behave. If they don’t respond, neither do we.

However, it works both ways. I have the impression that helping Ukraine started with single aid acts. Photos started popping up on social media showing this and there was a domino effect. We got involved in these activities. Helping out is contagious in the best sense of the word.

Finally, I have one more question. We know that helping is also rewarding for ourselves. What does this give us? Why do we help at all, for what reasons? Are we looking more at ourselves or actually at the needs of others?

This last question is very difficult to answer. It is actually impossible. It is impossible to clearly separate egocentric motives from purely helpful ones (helping for the idea of ​​helping). Both of these issues are closely related and interpenetrate each other.

The very phenomenon of helping can be viewed from different perspectives. The least sweet is the evolutionary perspective: man has learned that when he gives something, he also gets something. On the other hand, research shows that by helping and engaging in pro-social activities, we create a kind of buffer protecting against anxiety and depression – in this way we protect our well-being. Let us have a look, the first information about the events in Ukraine aroused fear. People were, and probably still are, deeply scared, with uncertainty about what to do next. We feel that we have virtually no control over what happens. The sense of control can to some extent be strengthened or regained just by engaging in helping. Then our self-esteem also increases.

Of course, when we decide to help, we do it unconsciously, more driven by heart and empathy. And this is the most important thing here, the wise help we talked about earlier will benefit both the needy and ourselves. This is good.

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