“We take the documents”: when is it time to change schools?

Today’s schoolchildren have much more choice than their parents had at the same age.

They do not see a problem in changing schools when there is a conflict with a teacher or classmates. Ready to switch to home schooling, just not to be where they are uncomfortable. They know their rights well and how to defend them. And most importantly, they discuss with their parents until they achieve what they want.

In this regard, adults often have the illusion that their child has made an informed decision and understands exactly what is best for him. Why not go to him in that case? Parents do not take into account that children have much less life experience and that they tend to make hasty decisions.

Under the onslaught of arguments, adults lose their sense of support and are ready to give in, if only to stop the battles with the child. But a vague doubt worries: “Is it worth changing this school, because it gives a strong preparation, which is so necessary for entering a university? What is the correct decision?

There are situations in which neither the status of the school nor the first place in the ranking is worth continuing to attend.

1. Bullying, extortion, blackmail

When a child is bullied, ridiculed, humiliated, this means that he found himself in an environment that is not only uncomfortable, but also unsafe for life and mental health.

Schoolchildren are under the supervision of teachers most of the day. And if at the same time bullying is allowed in an educational institution, then something is wrong with its internal culture and microclimate.

2. The child regularly comes home with bruises, his property is stolen

You can try to find out the reason for what is happening, find the culprits and hope that the conversation will affect their behavior. But is the child ready to share his problems with you?

Children often find it shameful when parents interfere with their peers. The child finds himself in the position of a victim – helpless, unable to fight back. And, therefore, there is no guarantee that beatings and / or thefts will not be repeated again.

3. Teacher bias

Unfortunately, a person endowed with power over others can abuse it. Parents who are faced with the problem of the teacher’s biased attitude towards the child often turn to me for advice.

They live in different countries, but seem to describe the same story: no matter how hard the child tries, the teacher puts low marks, looks down, speaks coldly, can call names, does not allow to answer in the lesson.

If, after a conversation between parents, teacher and student, the situation could not be changed, it is better to think about another school. A protracted conflict affects not only the child’s academic performance in the subject, but also his self-esteem and motivation to study in general.

4. Sexual harassment

It doesn’t matter if it’s a suspicion or an established fact – the place of study needs to be changed. The least that a child can face is interrogations at the police station. It is harder to endure whispering behind your back and humiliating nicknames.

I note that this situation can happen to both a girl and a boy. Therefore, it is important to maintain a trusting relationship with the child. Communicate without reproaches and accusations, so that if necessary, he will turn to you for protection.

5. Inability to follow religious and cultural traditions

If it is important for your family to observe religious rules and rituals, to adhere to various kinds of restrictions that are not encouraged and even prohibited at school (for example, not eating certain foods), then the question of choice does not even arise. It’s time to look for an educational institution where you will not be hindered.

At the same time, there are a number of situations when a child may insist on transferring to another school, but this is still not worth doing.

1. The child has no friends in the class

Better find out what’s stopping him from making friends. Teach your child the skills he lacks for friendship. Try to take the initiative in your own hands: invite one of your classmates to visit or organize a class trip to an event.

2. The child has a hard time studying

In this case, it is enough to work out additionally with tutors or pay more attention to problematic subjects on your own. Support the child, begin to notice his efforts and praise him for doing better than before. Do not scold for low grades and do not ask them to correct. It is more important to arouse interest in learning.

3. The child fell in love unrequitedly

You can succumb to emotions and go along with the child, but this will reinforce avoidant behavior in him, and in the future he will strive not to look for a solution to conflict situations, but to leave them.

If the lover (s), moreover, studies in grades 10-11, then the choice to change schools on the eve of graduation is unlikely to benefit academic performance. It is better to give the student a subscription to some interesting activities (guitar, drums, photography, mountaineering) or start a family project that will captivate the child (preparation for a road trip, a camping trip to Altai).