Yes, we know that appearances are not judged. But, as studies have shown, it is by the first impression that we form an idea of a person. And we often make mistakes. It’s a shame that it is rather difficult to change the first impression: for some reason, we strongly believe what our “intuition” told us when we first met.
Is it enough to look at a person to understand whether he can be trusted? If so, why are we so often wrong about people? The first impression about a person is not a reason to draw far-reaching conclusions about him, even it seems obvious to us. Why, experts from the University of Toronto answer.
The first impression of a person determines our opinion of him by 90%. Even when we learn facts that do not support our intuitions, we do not necessarily change them. Scientists from the University of Toronto say that our earliest feelings about a person, formed at the first meeting, are so strong that we will internally resist any new information that contradicts them.
Know or feel?
Psychologist Nicholas Rule and his colleagues showed study participants photographs of 20 men one at a time, reporting only one detail about them – sexual orientation. The photographs were pre-selected according to what appearance is considered stereotypical for heterosexual and homosexual men. The researchers then tested how the participants were able to remember (remember) what they were told about the people in the pictures. They were shown the photographs again, but in one case they were asked to answer immediately, and in the other they were given time to think. The results showed that participants were more likely to draw conclusions based solely on physical appearance when given no time. “When they weren’t rushed to respond, the participants were more likely to turn to their memory than to their feelings,” Rule says.
To make a good first impression, it’s important to meet in person
What does it mean? “This means that not only should we not hope that others will judge us objectively,” Rule says, “but we ourselves should also remember that our opinions of others are largely biased.” In other words, it’s natural for us to judge a book by its cover, and we almost always do it. But it is also important that we may not change our minds even after we have read it.
Is a good impression a matter of chance?
There is no guarantee that others will see us exactly as we want them to. But psychologist Jeremy Bezantz advises: “In order to make a good first impression, it’s important to meet in person.” At the heart of this advice is a series of experiments in which he and his team analyzed and compared first reactions from encounters with more than 1000 people who either interacted with each other during a 3-minute live interview or watched a video of the person they were supposed to evaluate.
The results showed that while “the accuracy of the ratings was the same in both cases,” “negative ratings were much more common when the acquaintance was one-way, through watching a video.” In other words, the participants were able to guess the personality traits of a person in any case. But when they saw a person only on the screen, they focused on the negative features of his appearance and behavior rather than on positive or neutral ones.
The same rule applies to romantic relationships. The impression of live communication is always better. People are more likely to trust their guts when dating someone, says researcher Paul Eastwick, so “it’s hard to really get to know a person by looking at a social media profile.” This may be the reason why people so often feel frustrated when they meet their seemingly perfect offline partner. A good solution is to get to know each other live as soon as possible so that the image created by fantasy does not obscure the real person. Some experts even recommend that no more than a few weeks pass between an online acquaintance and a meeting in real life.
First impression virus
If an unbiased opinion is difficult to form even with significant people, what about those whom we see for only a few seconds on the street or on television? But it is here that lies the cause of many misconceptions and social problems. The first impression of a person underlies most of our prejudices – this applies primarily to racial and national stereotypes. For example, African-American men are more often portrayed negatively in the Western media, they are often shown as antisocial individuals and criminals. Such enduring negative attitudes may even force certain behaviors on black men. That is, they, in turn, begin to behave as expected of them.
“When you see another person, your impression of him is born at the same time,” Rule says. It only takes a fraction of a second to decide what your overall feeling of the person will be. We may not be able to completely overcome its influence on our actions. The solution is not to try to change that first impression, but to wait a bit before deciding what your relationship with a particular person will be like. The more time passes, the more we will be inclined to take into account the real state of affairs.