“We need to talk about the Great Patriotic War”: to celebrate May 9 or not?

Military paraphernalia, participation in the «Immortal Regiment» or a quiet celebration with the family while viewing photos — how do we celebrate Victory Day and why do we do it this way? Our readers speak.

May 9 for the inhabitants of our country is not just another day off. Almost every family has someone who can be remembered in connection with the victory in the Great Patriotic War. But we have different views on how to spend this important day for us. Every opinion has a right to exist.

Reader Stories

Anna, 22 of the year

“For me, May 9 is an occasion to meet with my family, with relatives whom I see infrequently. Usually we go to see how military equipment leaves Red Square towards the Belorussky railway station. It is interesting to see it up close and feel the atmosphere: tankers and drivers of military vehicles wave at those standing at the station, sometimes even honk. And we wave back to them.

And then we leave for the dacha with an overnight stay: fry kebabs, play dice, communicate. My younger brother wears a military uniform — he decided it himself, he likes it. And, of course, we raise our glasses for the holiday, we honor a minute of silence at 19:00.”

Elena, 62 years old

“When I was little, on May 9, the whole family gathered at home. We did not go to the parade — these were meetings of «children of the war years» with memories and long conversations. Now I am preparing for this day: I put photographs of dead relatives on the chest of drawers, I put funerals, orders of my grandmother, the St. George ribbon, caps. Flowers, if any.

I try to create a festive atmosphere in the apartment. I don’t go to watch the parade, because I can’t hold back my tears when I see everything live, I watch it on TV. But if I can, then I take part in the procession of the Immortal Regiment.

It seems to me that at this moment my front-line soldiers are walking next to me, that they are alive. The procession is not a show, it is an atmosphere of memory. I see that those who carry posters and photographs look somehow different. They have more silence, deepening in themselves. Probably, at such moments a person gets to know himself more than in everyday life.

Semyon, 34 of the year

“I think everyone knows about this bloody war, about who fought with whom and how many lives it claimed. Therefore, May 9 should have a special place in the list of important holidays. I celebrate it either with my family, or mentally, with myself.

We pay tribute to the fallen relatives, remember them with a kind word and say thank you for the fact that we live in peace. I don’t go to the parade because it starts early and a lot of people gather there. But, perhaps, I’m just not yet «grown up» and have not fully realized its significance. Everything comes with age.»

Anastasia, 22 years old

“When I was in school and lived with my parents, May 9 was a family holiday for us. We went to my mother’s hometown, where she grew up, and cut a lot of bright scarlet tulips in the garden. They were taken in huge plastic jugs to the cemetery to be placed on the graves of my mother’s grandparents, who participated in the war and returned from it.

And then we had a modest festive family dinner. Therefore, for me, May 9 is an almost intimate holiday. Now, as in childhood, I do not participate in collective celebrations. The parade primarily demonstrates military power, this is contrary to my pacifist views.

Pavel, 36 years old

“I don’t celebrate May 9, I don’t go to watch the parade and I don’t participate in the Immortal Regiment procession because I don’t want to. You need to talk about the Great Patriotic War. We need to talk about what happened and why, so that the younger generations know what war is.

This will be helped by a change in the education system, upbringing in the family — parents should tell their children about grandparents, war veterans. If once a year we go out with photographs of relatives and walk along the boulevard, it seems to me that we will not achieve this goal.

Maria, 43 years old

“My grandmother survived the siege of Leningrad. She spoke a little about that terrible time. Grandmother was a child — the memory of children often replaces terrible moments. She never spoke about participating in parades, only about how she cried with happiness at the salute in honor of the victory in 1945.

We always celebrate May 9 in the family circle with our children, we watch war films and photo albums. It seems to me that whether to spend this day quietly or noisily is everyone’s business. It is not necessary to remember loudly, the main thing is to remember.

“Everyone has reasons to celebrate this holiday in their own way”

There are many ways to honor the memory of the past. Because of this, conflicts often arise: those who are confident in the need for a large-scale celebration do not understand quiet family meetings or the absence of any celebration at all, and vice versa.

Everyone believes that it is he who notes correctly. Why is it so difficult for us to accept an opinion different from ours and for what reason we choose to spend May 9 this way and not otherwise, says psychologist, existential-humanistic psychotherapist Anna Kozlova:

“The Parade and the Immortal Regiment are initiatives that bring people together. They help to realize that although we are a different generation, we remember our roots. It does not matter if this event is held offline or online, as it was last year and this year.

Relatives show photos of their loved ones during the procession or post them on the Immortal Regiment website

Such large-scale actions are an opportunity to show what the previous generation did, to say thank you again. And to admit: “Yes, we remember that there was such a tragic event in our history, and we thank our ancestors for their feat.”

The position of those who do not want to participate in a noisy procession or be present at the departure of military equipment is also understandable, because people are different. When they say around: “Come on, join us, everyone is with us!”, A person may get the feeling that the celebration is being imposed on him.

It is as if he is being deprived of a choice, in response to which resistance and a desire to step back from the process arise in him. External pressure is sometimes difficult to resist. Sometimes you have to deal with stigmatization: «If you are not like us, you are bad.»

It is often difficult to accept that another person may be different from us.

At the same time, because of this, we can begin to doubt ourselves: “Am I doing the right thing?” As a result, in order not to feel like everyone else, we agree to do what we do not want. There are also those who do not like to participate in large-scale actions: they feel uncomfortable among a large number of strangers and protect their personal space.

It turns out that each person has reasons to celebrate this holiday in his own way — following family traditions or adhering to his own principles. Whatever format you choose, it does not make your attitude to the holiday disrespectful.”

Victory Day is another reason to remind yourself that nothing is more important than a peaceful sky above your head, and conflicts over otherness never lead to anything good.

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