Tell your mom about it or leave it as it is? Do adults need to know the opinion of children and can it affect their decisions? The answer of the children’s analyst Anna Skavitina.
“Mom has a friend who my brother and I really don’t like. She is in command all the time. How do you tell your mom that she doesn’t need to talk to her?
Vika, 10 years old
Anna Skavitina, children’s analyst:
“I was very pleased, Vika, that my mother has a person whom she can rely on in a difficult life situation, who can support her. You moved, your friends stayed in the old place, and now she needs someone who would always be there. It seems that this mother’s colleague is ready to help her out and helps her mother simply by the fact that she cares about what happens to all of you. In life, Vika, different things happen and different people meet, they are not always ideal, we do not always like them, but they are still needed and important. You needlessly worry about your mother, judging by your words, your mother is quite capable of making her own decisions, and not those that her friend imposes on her. This is an important skill that is very useful to learn. If an adult says something to you that you don’t like or disagree with, then you don’t have to immediately agree with it or immediately argue: you always have time to think, discuss it with loved ones and draw your own conclusions. It seems to me, your mother may well decide for herself whether she needs this or that friend in life, and children cannot make such decisions for their mother, this is their mother’s choice. We understand that it’s hard for you and your brother now, you have lost a lot, a lot has changed in your life due to the move, but your mother’s friend is not to blame. Of course, she cannot replace your familiar world and friends, but … You also miss your friends, and you need your girlfriend with whom you can discuss all this, it’s not easy in a new place, but I hope that in the near future you you will find yourself a close friend and you will not feel lonely.