We Can’t Talk About Sex: What’s Changed Podcast

In the new episode, we will find out how sex education differs from sex education and how to achieve harmony in relationships with your body and the body of a partner

Edition guests:

• Sergey Romantsev – podcast host, tech blogger,
• Tatyana Dmitrieva – sex educator, sex therapist, founder of the Sexprosvet 18+ project and co-founder of Kinky Russia,
• Victoria Ashikhmina is a psychologist, sexologist and gestalt therapist.

Why the topic of sex is not taboo

Victoria believes that in fact the topic of sex is not taboo: sexual relations can be seen everywhere – in advertising, media, media, and even in conversations. Taboos, says the sex educator, are rather forms of sex, orientation and gender identity. It becomes difficult at the moment when the discussion touches on something that is not related to the contact of a man and a woman for the purpose of conception – that is, it differs from the usual “patriarchal” attitudes.

Tatyana is sure that the taboo remains at the level of conversations. And these roots, the expert says, underlie the culture. Now society can be called transitional: in the Soviet Union, sex was neither in the information nor in the personal field – it was not discussed openly. In the 1990s, the Western culture of sex came to the country, but even today the language of talking about intimate life has not yet been formed.

Why sex education is needed

Sexual education brings up inner freedom, Tatyana believes. Moreover, many intimate practices are associated with self-care: not only about the body, but also about mental health. Victoria confirms: sex education teaches you to manage your own body, to explore your boundaries. The topics of sex are directly related to other important social issues: fertility, abortion, the culture of consent and violence.

It’s worth distinguishing sex education from sex education, experts say:

• Sex education is about what you can and cannot do in sex, how to live in safety. It has more to do with legislation.
• Sex education is about how to have sex and diversify your intimate life.

Who can you trust to talk about sex?

So far, sex education and education can hardly be entrusted to schools, says Tatyana. In the case of sex, it is important to consider who and how explains the principles of sexual life, because in any case this will affect sexuality and may cause trauma to children. Both Victoria and Tatyana are convinced that it is necessary to communicate not only with children, but also with parents: even some adults do not understand that “no” means “no”.

Victoria emphasized that information about sex should be provided in a dosed manner and not only at a certain period, but throughout life. At the same time, do not rely heavily on social institutions – each person can start with himself. To do this, you just need to try to understand how the body works, what you like or dislike, what you can or cannot do with it, and also find comfortable options for bodily interaction with other people.

Where to look for information about sex

Porn is definitely not the kind of content that forms a healthy sexuality, experts say. It is better to read trusted scientific sources, after checking how up-to-date they are, or look at sex blogs. For example, Tatyana Nikonova’s blog, which contains a lot of information on the topic. Other options are to take master classes, listen to podcasts or watch videos that sexologists make.

In any case, content about sex should be approached with caution: you can stumble upon outdated or unverified information.