“We broke up”: what to write on social networks after a break

When a relationship cracks, one partner, as a rule, turns out to be completely unprepared for parting, which means that it is not easy for him to move forward. It becomes even more painful when such a person finds out about the new relationship of his ex or ex – for example, from social networks. A common reaction in this case is to start pretending that everything is going on as usual and life is in full swing.

A lot of people try hard to pretend that everything is fine with them. It is tempting to share with others, especially with an ex-partner, the details of what is happening to you. Whatever photo you post, for him, it will be an indicator of how your life is going after the breakup.

If the wound hasn’t healed yet and you’re still in pain, photos posted online of you looking happy can help you feel better, says psychologist Jane Greer. In these pictures, you seem to have already experienced a breakup, no longer be sad and look forward with hope, to a future where there is no place for the former. Even if, wearing a smart dress and putting on bright makeup, you went not on a date, but to a party with friends, you send a message to your subscribers: life goes on, even without a partner.

In fact, you might prefer to lie at home in your pajamas and suffer that love is gone. In this case, photos on social networks are a way to get used to the role of a happy person who has coped with grief. Even if you don’t want to smile, but do it no matter what, it can help you get out of the “mental swamp” and get back on your feet. At least that way you’ll at least get out of the house and see people.

In addition, many of those who make such posts have already got out of the maelstrom of negative emotions and feel happy again, communicate and go on dates. They want to show others what they have done. However, before covering the gap and its consequences on social networks, you need to decide for yourself a few questions. Is it worth it to publicly talk about your life just to let your ex understand that he is in the past, and you are moving on? How will this affect you? How much are you willing to share about yourself on social media? Will such frankness harm you?

There are several factors that will help you figure out if you need to actively use social networks at this stage, Greer believes. If you already write a lot of posts, you may not want to take a break even because of a breakup. After all, you have lost your partner, but you don’t have to lose touch with the world at the same time and feel unsettled. In this case, it will be quite natural to talk about what is happening to you – it will return you to the usual course of life while you come to your senses.

But what if you force yourself to post something in the feed, even though it only upsets you? Perhaps this is not the best solution. Telling a fictional story that looks like a children’s fairy tale can be difficult – so the goal of starting a new life that you aspire to seems even more illusory, unattainable, and you plunge even deeper into the abyss of despair.

Greer also reminds you that when you speak out about something in public, you inevitably encounter different comments and judgments. Some may think that you turned this page of your life too quickly. Others will go over how you look. Think about whether you can handle this reaction. Perhaps you already feel too vulnerable and vulnerable and not ready for criticism.

Also, try to understand why you are trying to give that impression of yourself. Maybe you are trying to take revenge on the one who offended you? Or do you think that one day you will reunite with an ex-partner and want to show him how strong you are? Or did you really feel better and are you ready to return to life?

There is another important point that you should not forget: most of the photos on your ex-partner’s page are exactly the same beautiful cover, behind which anything can be hidden. Remind yourself of this if the person suddenly seems very happy without you.

There is no single correct strategy for behavior after a breakup – you need to focus on what suits you. Sometimes taking notes is about helping yourself deal with grief rather than moping and feeling left out. If you are no longer in contact with your ex, social media can help convey the information that you would like to convey to him. Finally, if social networks increase your self-esteem, subscribers support you, not devalue you, and the desire to take a good photo makes you get out of bed and leave the house, then you made the right choice.