“A seam for a husband” or “a seam for a dad” – this is how the maternity slang speaks of tightly sewing the perineum after childbirth. More and more women complain of excruciating pain during intercourse caused by excessive narrowing of the vagina.
- In the delivery wards, there is a fashion for tight sewing of the perineum, which is to provide better sexual experiences for both partners after childbirth
- The scale of the phenomenon has not been investigated, but in Poland it can be exceptionally large, because the perineal incision during childbirth is a common practice – it is performed on average in every other case. In other western countries, in 10-20% of births.
- It happens that after poorly performed suturing of the perineum, an operation is necessary – vaginoplasty.
The American portal Healthline.com described the practice of putting on tight stitches, which is often accompanied by winking at the partner and not very picky comments such as “one seam for dad”, “extra seam to make it nice and tight” described the American portal Healthline.com. He cited, inter alia, the story of Angela Sanford, a 36-year-old mother from South Carolina who was given such a gift when she gave birth to her first child in 2008.
Five years later, after years of “excruciating” pain during sex, the midwife asked her, “Who was sewing you up at birth? It is not OK”. Stanford inquired. It was the first time she heard the term “marital seam”. She did not understand. The midwife explained that it was about pleasure for the husband. Stanford felt deceived and humiliated: – My husband was worried about me and was afraid to hurt me. He would never ask for it.
Polish patients immediately began to describe similar stories. Interestingly, some of them gave birth in renowned hospitals and also received an “extra stitch”. – I was not cut open, I broke myself. Now I remember that the doctor said something similar, “another one for you, would you like it?” The husband was puzzled. Neither he nor I understood right away. Only after the stress went down did I understand – says one of them.
Often only now do they begin to connect the facts and realize that too tight sewing causes the loss of joy in sex life.
Doctors confirm that such situations happen. – By recreating the anatomy of the perineum, we try to properly connect the muscle layers, and by putting on the final seams – we remember about the comfort of both the pajetus and her partner. However, it is easy to overdo it. Especially if you forget that the skin shrinks physiologically after childbirth. If we make the vaginal opening too tight, it may cause dyspareunia – pain during intercourse – explains Dr. Filip Dąbrowski, gynecologist at the XNUMXst Department and Clinic of Obstetrics and Gynecology of the Medical University of Warsaw.
Both women and men, he says, fear that too loose a vaginal opening will result in sexual dissatisfaction, which is a common problem.
However, it does warn people who think a cesarean section will avoid these perturbations. – Scientific research shows that after childbirth, women return to sex faster and have greater satisfaction with it than after cutting – the doctor assures. Why? – After cesarean, adhesions form in the abdomen, which can be painful – he explains.
Dr. Dąbrowski admits that in delivery rooms you can hear various jokes to relieve tension. – This is just a joke as an extra suture to narrow the vagina immediately after delivery is unprofessional. This is not done because the tissues shrink for several weeks and it is difficult to judge in advance how they will behave – says Dr. Dąbrowski.
In his opinion, a possible correction of the vaginal appearance – vaginoplasty – is best performed when the patient does not plan any more children.
What to do to prevent women from being exposed to this type of inconvenience? The situation is not helped by the fact that there are no guidelines on who should be stitched. In some hospitals this is done by midwives, in others it is only done by doctors. According to Dr. Dąbrowski, the latter solution is less risky. – Perhaps doctors are less likely to make mistakes because they examine patients after childbirth and see that the appearance of the vagina changes quickly after childbirth, so it cannot be too narrow – says Dr. Dąbrowski.
Many problems dealt with by the Foundation “Rodzić po humans” over the years, such as the right to the presence of a loved one at birth, to a mother with her child, have become a standard in perinatal care, not only on paper, but actually implemented by hospitals. From the very beginning, the foundation has also highlighted the issue of the routine incision of the perineum in Poland and its consequences. It was the main topic of the social campaign entitled “Don’t get cut.” Unfortunately, this problem is still present, as our recent monitoring of maternity wards has shown. The consequences of this bad stitching have always been present in the votes of women taking part in the “Rodzić po Human” campaign, in the voices of women writing on the website www.gdzierodzic.info, calling us – explains Iwona Adamska from the foundation.
In her opinion, the problem in Poland may be even greater than in the US and other European countries. Why? Because it is common practice to incise the perineum – it is performed in 50%. cases of natural births, in some hospitals as much as 80%, while in Great Britain, Denmark the percentage is 12% and Sweden – 9,7.
Routine, lack of staff and rush, comfort and fear of possible breakage are often to blame. – A routine perineal incision, often without consent or knowledge, is an unnecessary mutilation of women – adds Adamska. Often the reality looks like this: – I asked the midwife to take a more perineum-friendly position – the «squatting» position. I heard: «What do you think that I won the backbone in the lottery in order to bend over your crotch? – one of the patients answers us.
Any day on the website of the Foundation “Rodzić po Humanku” it will be possible to fill in an anonymous questionnaire on the quality of care in the hospital, including treatment by the staff. On its basis, a report and results will be prepared for each hospital in Poland. – During childbirth, a person does not pay attention to certain matters. Then she remembers the humiliations she suffered. We want women to tell about it, we will intervene – adds Adamska.
Recalls that by law “staff have a duty to respect a woman in labor with attitude, word and tone”. – We know that these provisions of the standards of perinatal care are not respected in many places. When women start talking about it, they will tell about it in our survey, they will start to protest, such behavior will have to stop – adds Adamska.
What if we have become a victim ourselves? When to seek help The first intercourse after childbirth can be painful, don’t panic right away. But, if 1-2 months have passed after childbirth and the discomfort persists, you should see a doctor. The discomfort is due to the fact that the glands that moisturize the vagina come back to work, secondly, the scar of the perineum is a stiff tissue and must “get used” to intercourse.
One should return to the intensity of the relationship without haste.
What to do if we have such a scar? You can think about treatment: ointments, massage, laser therapy. If the entrance is too narrowed, surgical correction will likely be necessary. – The operation consists in slightly slitting open and re-sewing. It is not that it has to be this way, you have to seek help. Do not get used to the pain – emphasizes Dr. Filip Dąbrowski.