Twenty-year-olds want to enjoy relationships, but are not ready to take them seriously. The blogger wrote a harsh text about her peers. He collected 100 thousand likes on Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia).
We need relationship status on Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia) so that everyone can give it a like or a heart. We need company to go see a new movie, discuss the news over coffee, we need someone to complain about the fact that the weekend is over, and Friday is still so far away. We need a «plus one» for wedding and birthday invitations. But we are a generation that doesn’t need relationships.
We leaf through other people’s pages in dating applications, trying to find «our person.» We download apps that match us with the perfect partner—the one who matches us in all interests and tastes. We read articles like How to Know She Likes You and 7 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You. We spend more time on our image in social networks than on working on ourselves. We want the ribbon to remind us of how our relationships with others are progressing. But the truth is, we don’t want a relationship.
We “chat” and correspond, exchange selfies and emojis. We go out to hang out, to unwind, to break away — as long as we don’t call it a «date.» We make appointments on the fly, chat for hours about nonsense, and return home to discuss the same nonsense on instant messengers. We ignore any opportunity to take the relationship to a serious level, preferring to compete in indifference. Who is less «steamed»? Who «easier» looks at things? Who never «complicates» anything? In the end, we will all get the same prize — the title of the Lonely One.
We need the appearance of a relationship, but we don’t want to work on it. We want to hold hands, but not look into each other’s eyes. We like to troll and tease each other — just not to talk about what really worries. We swear to each other in small things, but do not want to make long-term commitments. We want to celebrate round dates, forgetting about the long weekdays that lead to them. We demand to be understood and keep others at a distance. We want love «like in the movies», but we don’t want to be directors ourselves.
We need all the rewards and minimum risk, the jackpot with no strings attached
We don’t need relationships — we need «friends with privileges», bright adventures, momentary passion. We want anything that gives us the illusion of intimacy, but without real intimacy. We need all the benefits and minimum risk, a jackpot with no strings attached. We want mutual understanding — enough to laugh together at the next meme. We want to be needed, but not dependent. We are not in a hurry — we are watching «how it goes», we do not hang labels, we do not «force the brain» of each other. We always leave the door ajar and our suitcases not fully unpacked.
When it seems to us that the situation is about to go too far, we run. We reassure ourselves: the sea is full of fish, something will definitely turn up, we will be lucky. And we are really lucky, again and again. We remain the lucky ones.
We hope for happiness. If only it could be downloaded as a new application, and then updated, adapted to any configuration, and in which case, simply deleted. We don’t want to settle into someone else’s life or let others settle into ours. An awkward phrase can always be turned into a joke. Imperfection can be hidden behind the filters of Instagram (an extremist organization banned in Russia). We will prove to everyone and everyone that to love means to accept the other as he is. But we keep our skeletons securely in the closet and do not even think of showing them to someone one day.
The culture of fast delivery, instant messaging, and click-to-click pleasure has taught us that everything is available right now. Only because we want it. We get frustrated when the Wi-Fi slows down, the online stream loads too slowly, and no one likes our new post, even though ten seconds have passed. Where are those wonderful relationships that we see in the photo to popular articles? Where is the trust, understanding, acceptance that we were promised?
We need a template, not a living person. We need body heat, not a living person. We need someone to just sit next to us while we absentmindedly scroll through the news feed on the tablet. We want to continue to live in this comfort zone, pretending that feelings are not important to us, but with a secret desire to arouse feelings in others.
We play a tough game, testing others for strength — without even realizing why. We discuss the rules of the game for a long time, without even really knowing what we are playing. The problem with our generation that doesn’t need relationships is that we actually need them more than anything.