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We tend to think that being an optimist is good and being a pessimist is bad. But is it? Perhaps we should learn to perceive life realistically. Life coach and blogger Mila Kachowska believes that a realistic view of the world allows us to become a self-sufficient person and succeed.
I am writing these lines for friends, relatives, acquaintances and strangers who, for some reason, consider me the embodiment of the ideas of positive psychology. How many times in response to my articles have I received comments in the series: “You are such a positive person. If only I could be that optimistic!” To be honest, this baffles me. I have never considered myself an optimist.
Moreover, it seems to me that people who call themselves optimists are hypocrites. No one can think exclusively positively. Our world is dual, and so is our thinking. We have both “bad” and “good” thoughts. But all this is conditional and relative.
Positive thinking can be dangerous. Very often it is perceived as follows: “Whatever happens, think of it as something good, call it something else, put on rose-colored glasses. The world is wonderful!» I constantly see announcements of seminars and workshops on positive perception and I consider them a real sham.
I’m realist. And my glass is always full. Only the ratio of water and air is always different
How is this possible when there are wars in the world, there is inequality, violence, people die from incurable diseases? Meanwhile, some coach inspires you: “Life is amazing, the sun is shining, the sky is blue, live and be happy, you have a lot of opportunities. All in your hands. The main thing is to learn to see only the good.
In fact, our world is far from perfect. No, I do not call to fall into depression about this, but let’s look at life soberly. I don’t consider myself an optimist or a pessimist. I’m realist. And my glass is always full. Only the ratio of water and air is always different.
You decide. You can admire everything without exception, blocking out unpleasant thoughts and turning a blind eye to tragic events. Or you can live with the feeling that everything is terrible — you can not fix anything, and all that remains is to drag out a meaningless existence in a world of deceit, wars and injustice. Is it just worth it? I encourage you to think realistically and do everything to improve this world. You can start right now.
Analyze what is happening
“I don’t watch the news,” my friend says. “There are only catastrophes and murders.” This position is very popular today. But personally, I have nothing to talk about with people who adhere to it. You need to know what’s going on in the world. You need to pass it through yourself. Good and bad things happen on our planet. You need to know about it. But you should not dwell on the bad, just as you should not live in a world of illusions.
Learn the news, listen to different points of view, draw your own conclusions.
Treat others humanely
We are all human, so do not assume that you are worse or better than others. Help others, celebrate their achievements, learn from their experience. This is much more correct than envying someone or pitying others.
Change the world for the better
You cannot stop wars and cure all the terminally ill. But that doesn’t mean you are powerless. Help as you can. Try yourself as a volunteer, participate in charity events, donate unnecessary things for recycling, and donate old clothes to those in need. Do not litter on the street, clean the entrance, plant flowers near the house. Let your intention to help and improve the world be absolutely sincere.
Live in the present
How often do you think: “I’ll go to college / finish the project / get rich”? And how often do you start a sentence with the phrase: “It was great when…”? Chances are, you’re much less likely to say, «How good it is now…» Our past and future are not always better than the present, but we continue to think so. It is a wall that separates a certain part of our mind from reality.
Do not get too carried away by dreams of the future and revel in sweet memories. Live today! Don’t dream of an ideal life or situation. Accept life as it is and, if possible, turn your dreams into reality.
Don’t think that you are the center of the universe
Don’t think that everything revolves around you. Events are not made to make you happy or unhappy. Don’t expect everything to always be the way you want it to be. And when something doesn’t work out and just goes wrong, just imagine how you will react to this situation in the future.
About the expert: Mila Kachowska is a life coach, blogger.