New technologies have created new worlds: lifestyles, modes of learning, relational modes … Internet allows you to learn sex, to practice it at a distance, to become dependent on it and “pleasure for all” is offered to all audiences at unbeatable prices.

The love and / or sexual life of everyone, and this long before the use of digital technologies had, and always has, its share of virtuality, in the sense that the imaginations of the partners went their own way, that the real of one was not necessarily that of the other, that the potentialities felt could differ. 

Cybersex only adds virtuality to virtuality. If 21% of French people have already practiced virtual sex, men would be more followers than women. 5% of those over 65 would be interested and heterosexuals are less interested (21%) than others (42%).

By cybersex we mean all activities related to sexuality on the Internet. “Activities” literally include making love at a distance. Among those under 30, less than one in two couples live under the same roof. 4% of French couples live separately. Whether a couple is one-off or lasting, they can choose to spice up their sex life through interposed screens. Nougaro’s famous “black screens of your sleepless nights” can come to life in color with just one click.

The tools are numerous:

• Photos, which are called “nudes” when it comes to naked;
• Webcam, digital camera connected to a computer allowing video images to be broadcast on the Internet;
• Forums, computer space for public discussions which have the advantages of being archived and therefore asynchronous (therefore space without place or time);
• Many and varied accessories catalogs.

It is still not enough to simply click, some specialists (Sophie Genin, psychologist and couple therapist) disseminate precise instructions for use of cybersex.

Sexual arousal must be increased by making a prior phone call, or sending flowers or an erotic book, which is called foreplay in a more classic approach to sexuality.

Only then, the sending of sext (text messages with sexual content), of sexfies (sexual selfies) but it is essential to discuss their future: their distribution or their more or less extensive sharing can be expensive (Benjamin Griveaux will remember this). probably a long time, who had to give up his candidacy for mayor of Paris after the probably unexpected release of erotic images.)

What is also expensive is the dissemination of “dick pic” that is to say: erect male sex, punished by a fine of 15 euros (exhibitionism). Either way, it is not in good taste, as are videos of masturbation or states of intense enjoyment.

Containment at the heart of virtual sex

The confinement did not have only drawbacks, it allowed teleworkers to discover Skype, Zoom, Google Meets and other software allowing meetings on the Internet, videoconferences, videoconferences and of course videocalls. But here again, nothing should be left to chance: take care of the decor, add a musical atmosphere, failing to be able to add a spray of the partner’s favorite perfume, choose the underwear to remove, so as to flatter the erotic imagination. .

The icing on the cake: the application that allows remote control of the partner’s toy by using sex toys (sex toys).

Love can be learned. The famous “personal development” so much advocated has swallowed up sexuality. Self-esteem also goes through a fulfilling sexuality that we “learn” on dedicated sites and videos with a lot of advice, exercises and accessories. 

It is the vogue of “tutorials” (tutorials) which invite you to master the technique of fellatio, succeed in cunnilingus or even delay ejaculation. The slogan of cybersex could be “Pleasure for all”

Democratizing means making it accessible to all, popularizing, popularizing, massifying. Indeed, like tennis or golf, cybersex seems to be able to become widespread once you have a computer and a cell phone. You can buy a webcam from 30 euros, a connected sex toy from 40 euros, the “video” is usually free.

It exists three dangers threatening cybersex:

Cybersex and minors 

Children, and undoubtedly some adolescents, are perhaps not as “equal” as adults in the face of the phenomenon. Free access to images, photos or videos may not be desirable. The fantasies they convey can be deleterious. 

In addition, young Internet users are more often the victims of harassment, blackmail, and commercial or pornographic sites on which it is so easy to come across. Fortunately, alongside sites that explain sexuality, there are sites that explain navigation on the web, intended for parents, children, teachers. 

This is not a medical consultation

Another danger is to confuse “tutorial” with “medical consultation” or even “treatment”. Difficulties or illnesses benefit at best from a meeting with a health professional and in particular addiction.

The addiction of virtual sex

Addiction to cybersex is in addition to many other addictions (alcohol, tobacco, games, etc.) that are easier to prevent than to cure. 3% of women and 4% of men are said to be dependent.