Victimization, as some psychologists believe, is a barrier to personal development and relationships with others. There are ways, like calling for professional help, to stop being a victim … And then take back control of your life!

Personal victimization can result in a tendency to self-pity. It is even, for the author, speaker and trainer Ginette Plante, “a pattern of behavior that creates a barrier to authentic relationships“. A certain form of role is thus adopted: that of being the victim. For Vincent Bernay, author of the cours-de-psychologies.fr website, victimization “is a process in the psychology of the person who clears him of feelings that can be guilty or of any responsibility, this by accusing others«.

While the behavior of a person who victimizes himself may appear to be irrational, “this attitude finds its meaning in an unsuccessful attempt to suppress a traumatic feeling linked to personal experience“, Writes Vincent Bernay. In addition, failure affects our state of mind: but if some “perceive it as a source of motivation, a way to highlight our weaknesses and therefore the road to follow to achieve its goals, others sink into denial and end up shutting themselves off from their environment“, Considers the site reussitepersonnelle.com.

When we use the term “victimization”, “the objective is not to put a label, but rather to understand how the self-personalities act without our knowledge, including that of the victim“, Considers Ginette Plante. She explains : “Self-personality is a model of survival that came into being when we needed it to survive our unmet needs. It is present and manifests as constellations of behaviors, feelings or thoughts that have crystallized to help us survive our unmet needs.. “

Some signs present in the person with a tendency to victimization: they may have a tendency to lose control of their life, not to be able to defend themselves, to let outside forces influence their life, or even to have a tendency to feel sorry for themselves . It would even seem that victimization can sometimes turn out to be addictive, allowing us, for example, to find excuses that could justify our shortcomings and our shortcomings, however involuntary.

The propensity to victimize oneself in certain cases comes from the family environment lived during childhood. Thus, Vincent Bernay writes: “Failing and overly critical parents can make the child feel guilty, ashamed and low in self-esteem.“And then, having become an adult, this person, in a difficult situation, may tend to think that he is a victim,”so as not to experience any sense of shame or guilt that might remind him of old and repressed traumas«.

Consequences ? The person affected by this feeling of victimization may not make good decisions, and even not make any at all. Worse: it can even sometimes trigger destructive behaviors such as alcoholism or various addictions. For Vincent Bernay, “although they are responsible for their actions, these people blame others, making it very difficult to gain the awareness needed to resolve these issues«.

Good news: it is possible to restore balance in your life, and this by starting a process of transformation. To help this, a therapeutic approach can be a real ally: by following, for example, psychotherapy, or even therapeutic hypnosis.

As the Rive-Sud Psychological Aid website explains, everyone will be able to see that the victim pattern is definitely over when they become aware of:

• that he is now responsible for his life;
• that he welcomes his emotions and feelings as allies and no longer as adversaries;
• that he recognizes his inner power;
• that he transforms his beliefs and perceptions so that they adjust to his reality;
• that he develops greater confidence in others;
• that he waits to be respected in words, in gestures, in actions;
• that he is open to himself and to others;
• that he stops projecting his discomfort onto others;
• that he develops his true self;
• that he dares to take risks.

Work on oneself, very often in the form of professional help, will thus help the person affected by a feeling of victimization to better live his present, to finally take back the power of his life. Changing things can also sometimes imply that a disadvantageous situation is sometimes a bad for a good: one will certainly be able to draw the positive from the apparent unhappiness.

We must, moreover, learn to forgive ourselves… And thus, for the reussitepersonnelle.com site, “by becoming aware of the barriers that still keep us away from expressing the extent of our potential, we will gradually manage to let go of it and finally live free from the pressures that weigh on our shoulders«.