It causes admiration and rejection in equal measure and for the same reasons. She was a victim of domestic violence and wrote a book about it. Now she is happily married and is not afraid to talk about it loudly or be suspected of insincerity. Meeting with Valeria, who continues to build her life according to her personal scenario.
In recent years, she has been changing outwardly, as if losing her connection to reality and more and more resembling some ideally fabulous creature: snow-white hair, blue eyes, a chiseled figure … This fairy of eternal youth smiles at me from all covers. What language should we communicate in? Passing through the security cordons around and inside her house, I imagine the palace hall and the maids in starched aprons … But the first thing I see when I get into the apartment is two pairs of children’s sneakers against the wall in the hallway. And then the hostess in sports trousers: “Come in, I’ll make tea for us.” The living room is spacious but not castle-like. Strict furniture, a couple of paintings … This laconicism seems to say: those who live here are not disposed to sybaritize. An emotional, talkative and down to earth woman with three children, Valeria manages her life not from the heights of billboards. A tough schedule of classes, tours, children’s schedules – she has everything clearly and under control. Unlike those ten years of her previous marriage to producer Alexander Shulgin, which she described in detail in her book “And Life, and Tears, and Love” (Azbuka, 2006). Then the aspiring jazz singer Alla Perfilova changed her name to give life to a future pop celebrity. And it turned out – changed his fate. She did not know that her path to glory would pass through humiliation, fear and lack of freedom.
Today, Valeria confidently says that everything is in order with her: she was able to overcome the situation and became even more successful, brighter. But self-criticism and dissatisfaction with herself do not allow her to relax. It seems that the diligent and obligatory Alla Perfilova still lives in Valeria and does not for a moment disclaim responsibility for her success.
In August 2008, Valeria was appointed Goodwill Ambassador of IOM (International Organization for Migration). She received a medal for merits in the fight against human trafficking: the singer has been drawing public attention to the problems of slavery for more than a year.
Psychologies: Do you like your popularity?
Valeria: Somehow I’m not particularly impressed by her, I don’t think about it at all.
But when your own face looks back at you from 3 x 6 m2 posters, what do you feel?
AT.: Nothing. No, I guess I enjoy it. But I can’t say that I revel in it. Maybe because at the moment when I could get star disease, I was very well grounded in my personal life. There were so many problems inside the family that I didn’t care what they print, show … And this attitude involuntarily transferred to a prosperous life. I am very critical of myself, and if a good shot appears, I look at it as an object of photographic art. I can’t even believe it’s me.
At the age of ten, you first appeared on the stage of the district House of Culture …
AT.: Then for the first time I experienced a special state – it happens only on stage. It’s like I’m in a special dimension, like in a looking glass, and I don’t know what’s happening to me. I… am not quite adequate at this moment – I am different on stage, completely different… I can’t even explain which one. I really liked to sing, and I knew for sure that I would be an artist, I would perform on the big stage. Only through ignorance can one be so certain. When at the age of 17 I came to enter the Gnessin Institute, I was not at all worried! And only closer to the second year I was pierced by a feeling of stage fright. I thought: God, how far I am from the ideal… I already looked at myself more soberly and compared myself with others more adequately… And I had to fight this fear that I would not perform well for several years. Having received a diploma, I could say: here it is – I became a singer! But I didn’t have my own songs, repertoire. Then it was necessary for the viewer to feel and fall in love with me, and this is the next step towards the dream. Therefore, only now I could say that it has come true. But I won’t say: if so, then you can turn everything off and retire.
Now you have a big stage, and your songs, and your audience – what else do you want?
AT.: (Laughs.) I wish there were even more of them! This is an endless process. And by and large, I just want to get better – to grow every day and in all positions. And I do a lot for this, both creatively and intellectually.
Grow to what extent?
AT.: I understand that I cannot achieve spiritual perfection, because for this I need to live a completely different life. After all, our profession is associated with ambition, vanity. At a difficult moment in my life, I had a desire to go to a monastery, but still I could not do it. My favorite profession feeds not only me, but also my parents, family, grandmother. I need to put the kids on their feet. I understand why I’m doing this.
More and more, everything is better … Does perfectionism prevent you from living?
AT.: I wish I could stop picking on myself. This is the only thing that really worries me. But from such a position it is difficult to soar to the heavens, you always see: there is room to grow. And if I am satisfied with myself, then I get much more pleasure from it than from compliments from the outside.
What happens if you can’t give yourself an A?
AT.: (Thinks.) It seems to me that nothing terrible will happen, I just understand that I need to work even harder. The main “subject” in which I would like to get an A is motherhood. But the assessment will be clear only when the children grow up. They study well, but not perfectly, although they could easily! I really don’t want them to regret at some point that they didn’t do what they could. I was there and didn’t tell you. I want them to find themselves, and I will not interfere with their choice. Because at one time my choice might have seemed strange: a girl with a gold medal in her pocket rushes into an adventure and goes to a small town in Moscow, without connections, without money. But my parents supported me.
Is there anything you would like to change in your childhood?
AT.: No, I had a wonderful childhood. Unless I would have started playing sports earlier, this would have saved me from complexes in physical education classes – they were sheer torture for me!
Today, your form of doubt no longer causes anyone. In connection with your release to a European audience, the press even appeared headlines in the style of “Meet the new Madonna!”.
AT.: (She sighs.) Oh, my God… In the first interview I gave in the West, a journalist asked me: what do you think about Madonna? I say: this is not my favorite artist, we are antipodes with her. And suddenly this headline comes out. I feel embarrassed because the comparison is completely unjustified. Winning popularity at such a price as Louise Ciccone – with crucifixions – is not my thing at all. It is important for me to do something for which later I will not be ashamed in front of the children.
How would you like to be different from other people?
AT.: (Long pause.) Each person is an individual. I think the most important thing is to be yourself. This is how you will be different from others.
In the book, you write that only after parting with your former husband did you return to yourself. It turns out that you have not been yourself for ten years?
AT.: Definitely. My whole life has been about survival. I adapted to the circumstances and behaved differently than I tend to. I couldn’t even raise my children the way I saw fit. After all, this man tried to fill the whole space with himself, fenced me off from the children too: when I came back from the tour, I had to sit next to him (“to the leg!”) And watch TV. The nanny took care of the kids. But the most unbearable were the moments when he was cruel to children.
Would you act differently in a similar situation today?
AT.: I know for sure that I will never allow myself to be treated like this again. But now my life is different. Then there was too much dependence. And legal – after all, I was tied with numerous contracts – and psychological. They didn’t give me church permission to divorce, the priest said: this is your cross, your husband will be lost without you. I lived with this thought for a very long time … And then I was suddenly pierced by the thought that I would not save him, my spiritual strength and humility would not be enough for this. Today I am surprised at myself: I don’t understand how I, with my temperament, with my opinion on every occasion, how could I live like this? But when you are inside the situation, every day new circumstances, tasks, new nourishment arise … In short dashes – forward and forward – these ten years have passed. But I am convinced that these years have helped me to form as a person.
What kept you in that marriage most of all – the fear of interrupting your career, the desire to save, in spite of everything, your family?
AT.: Save the family, of course. I didn’t even think about a career. I was ready to give up my profession, since conflicts with my husband began precisely on a working basis. I became terribly afraid of any studio work, filming and even performances. What career? I just wanted to survive, I wanted my children to be happy, for my parents to breathe easy. I wanted to have a normal family. And I have a feeling that I did everything right. I was raised to take marriage seriously. And I was sure that now I was getting married forever, and if I had left at the very beginning of my life together, I would probably have been tormented by remorse – that I had not done everything I could.
In your happy family, you were the only child. And in that unlucky one, they decided to have three …
AT.: I didn’t decide anything! All children were born unscheduled. At first, my husband convinced me that we couldn’t have children, that he had problems. Thus Anna was born. The topic appeared when I was breastfeeding. I would never have been able to decide to terminate the pregnancy and yet I went to have an abortion. And on the ultrasound, they say to me: “Here, my heart is already beating.” (She has tears in her eyes.) Of course, I turned around and went home. 1994 was the worst year: I have two small children in my arms, and my husband’s behavior is getting worse every day. And then I went to church. The church has given me a serious boost. And I began to live, biting my lip, and endure, endure. Then Senya was born …
Did you somehow explain to the children what was happening in the house?
AT.: It seemed to me: why? If a person is insane, it’s so obvious! Here we are at home, everything is fine, and here – dad is coming. Everyone shrinks in horror, immediately artificial smiles on their faces. Tears, if anyone had, instantly dry up. Temka, when he was little, wiped his face with his hand in a second and ran up to me: “Can’t you see the tears?” The tension was terrible – just a black cloud crawled into the house. And when he left, everyone – including his mother – exhaled noisily and with relief: “Well, are we starting to live?”
After parting with Alexander, did you turn to psychotherapy?
AT.: Yes, we went to sessions with a psychotherapist with the whole family. Theme turned out to be the most injured of the children. He had to endure a lot, his father was unusually cruel towards him. But we still managed to warm him up with our love. He is very attached to his grandmother, grandfather (my parents), great-grandmother. And I hope that pain and hatred are gone from him.
And from your soul?
AT.: I felt good as soon as I returned to my parents in Atkarsk. I was without money, without work, the future was uncertain, but my husband was not around – and this was already happiness. When we began to live with Joseph (Prigozhin. – Approx. ed.), For a long time I could not get rid of constant comparisons: “But he would now say this phrase …” Now I was completely let go. I can already laugh when I remember with our nanny, a witness of those events, the absurdity of everything that happened.
What makes you most happy in your life today?
AT.: It seems to me that Joseph is the person with whom you want to meet old age. He can easily laugh at himself and allows others to do the same. And I really like it. We do not have an idyll: he is a very emotional person, I am too, there are outbursts and quarrels, but the main thing is that there is love and there is no fear. Never before anyone. My kids don’t get numb when they’re scolded. Everything is very easy, naturally. And no one has an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Private bussiness
- 1968 April 17 in Atkarsk, Saratov region, the only daughter Alla was born in the family of musical teachers Yuri and Galina Perfilov.
- 1985 Alla enters the Academy of Music. Gnesins in the class of pop vocals. Then she became a soloist of the ensemble “Impulse” of the Saratov Philharmonic.
- 1987 Participates in the competition of young performers in Jurmala. Marries musician Leonid Yaroshevsky, the couple move to Moscow.
- 1989 Alla meets producer Alexander Shulgin, takes the stage name Valery, records the English-language album The Taiga Symphony and the album of Russian romances “Stay with me”.
- 1991 Laureate of the television competition “Morning Star”.
- 1992 Won the international competition “Bratislava Lira”.
- 1993 Files a divorce from Leonid Yaroshevsky, marries Alexander Shulgin (later they will get married), officially changes the name Alla to Valeria. Birth of Anna’s daughter.
- 1994 First solo concert at the Oktyabrsky Concert Hall (St. Petersburg). Birth of son Artemy. The song “Airplane”, Valeria’s first hit.
- 1996 Album “Anna” brings her wide popularity.
- 1998 Birth of the youngest son Arseny.
- 2002 Valeria leaves the stage with her children in Atkarsk. Their marriage to Shulgin is debunked.
- 2003 Valeria signs a contract with producer Iosif Prigogine. After a 1,5-year break, he enters the stage at the Muz-TV award ceremony.
- On October 8, the album “Country of Love” starts.
- 2004 Marries Joseph Prigogine. Award of the music channel “Muz-TV” and MTV Russian Music Awards in the nomination “Best performer”. Then, for four years in a row, he becomes the laureate of the Golden Gramophone award.
- 2005 Awarded the title of Honored Artist of the Russian Federation.
- 2006 The singer’s autobiographical book “And life, and tears, and love” was published.
- 2008 Release of the album Out of Control.