Use the Holidays to Strengthen Relationships

Before the holidays, we decorate the house, prepare for parties, buy gifts, outfits, food for festive lunches and dinners, and postpone communication with the closest people until later. New Year’s fever causes the separation of many couples. After the holidays, many people change the status of relationships in social networks.

At the same time, according to the Gottman Institute, partners who give each other small courtesies on a daily basis increase the margin of safety of the relationship. If you value your relationships, before the holidays you need to take care of replenishing the “emotional bank”.

1. Schedule at least one date

You go to friendly and family dinners together, and each of you will have a corporate party. Nevertheless, in all this fuss, it is imperative to make time for just the two of you. Stronger relationships and a lower likelihood of divorce are noted among partners who arrange dates for themselves at least once a week. In addition, they have harmonious sexual relations, good mutual understanding, and they are devoted to each other.

2. Do good deeds together

One way to strengthen relationships is to do something useful together. Experiences like these give meaning to life and bind you even more strongly. You can visit a lonely elderly neighbor and help him clear the snow from the driveway in front of the house or donate unwanted clothes to the homeless fund. Volunteering has a positive effect on physical, mental and intellectual health, reduces stress levels and makes life more conscious and happy.

3. Come up with your own New Year’s ritual

Rituals bring a sense of stability to our lives. They can be the simplest: watching your favorite movie on the last day of the year, a cup of hot chocolate on New Year’s Eve when the children are already asleep, or a 5 km race on the first of January.

4. Give unexpected gifts, do beautiful things, say kind words.

When participants in one study were asked, “What two things are most dear to you in a relationship?”, most noted pleasant actions and words. Most often, people remembered such trifles as a cup of tea in bed or dinner prepared by a partner. A surprise made by a loved one cheers you up better than a useful purchase. Sometimes the way of presenting is remembered more than the gift itself.

A warm jumper is a banal gift. You can buy it yourself. But it’s nice to see a clean car in the morning, eat breakfast prepared by a loved one, or find a love note in your wallet.

5. Give each other time and tenderness

During the holiday season, you feel anxious, and your partner feels tired and irritated too: according to a study by the American Psychological Association, 44% of women and 31% of men report that stress levels during this period are significantly higher than at other times of the year. Instead of arguing and trying to organize the perfect holiday, take a break. Sit next to me, drink a glass of wine and talk heart to heart. Care and support is what both need.

6. Relax and spend the holidays the way you want

Many couples fight because of unfulfilled expectations: the partner gave the wrong gift or did not want to stay at the party until the morning. Don’t try to match the pictures in the magazines. Ask your partner, “What can I do to make this holiday special for you?” and do it.