Unwillingness to live according to a pattern is also a pattern

A template is a ready-made sample that is blindly imitated without including the head. The main thing here is thoughtlessness. If a person thinks what to imitate, they say that he acts according to a model, and not according to a template. And when a person acts thoughtlessly, they say that he acts according to a pattern. Considering that in life people do not think often, most of our behavior is quite formulaic, and we differ primarily in the patterns that we follow.

Templates differ in the process that they organize, and then the patterns of perception, thinking, communication, and behavior are distinguished. Observe yourself and other people and you will understand that behavioral and communication patterns occur in our lives much more often than one might think. Communication in a team that has worked together for several months is probably half made up of patterns. What can I say about spouses who have lived together for ten years: everything is familiar, everything is predictable, almost everything is done and it is said “on the machine”.

Each of us has both our personal patterns and generally accepted patterns — social patterns. In another way, they can be called social habits, since most often it is a habitual and worked out to automatism sequence of any actions.

This is, for example, a handshake and a response to a handshake. When a man sees a hand rising for a handshake, he holds out his hand. Try, dear men, to keep your hand from this, and you will feel how strong the patterns are.

The phrase «how are you» will evoke the formulaic «normal». Or «Good!»? Or «Great?» Everyone has their own patterns.

Templates and automatisms allow you to habitually live without turning on your brains, see what you have explained, want and think those thoughts and desires that you have inserted (for example, with the latest advertisement from a TV box). We all have templates, and templates in and of themselves are not bad at all. It is wrong to think that any pattern makes a person’s behavior blind or inadequate. If the template itself is reasonable, useful, then the thinking and behavior of such a person is appropriate and adequate.

However, people do not like to live according to the template. More precisely, people do not want to realize that they live according to a pattern, most people want to prove that they are completely free individuals, and teenagers love to prove this most of all, demonstrating independent behavior. However, the position “I don’t want to live according to a pattern!”, especially a tough and categorical position, is also a pattern, and the pattern is not very successful.

Most of our skills are our patterns that have moved to the level of automatisms. From reading text and walking (perceiving the words as a whole, and not adding up from individual letters, without thinking about what the right foot does and what the left one does, how the center of gravity moves), to driving skills, touch typing and speed reading. We all use formulaic wording Russian language. The keyboard on the computer is made according to the template. We adhere to patterns of cultural behavior: we say hello and say goodbye when we meet. Templates allow us not to think, save time, effort …

When we use high-quality templates that work for our interests, this is very good. Another thing is if the template is limited, simplified, or lagging behind the realities of life, then the person lives a poor life and reacts little adequately. He lives without regaining consciousness… Templates become not a help, but an obstacle when we can no longer change them, get rid of them, replace them with our own solutions. Many «common truths» are so firmly assimilated through upbringing, absorbed from childhood with mother’s milk, that we do not even ask ourselves the question: «Why did I decide that everything is this way?». These are no longer just beliefs, but beliefs that reduce our adequacy and hinder our development.

Knowledge and assimilation of social patterns is the basis of social adequacy. Some of the social patterns were once comprehended and thought out, some are quite random, and sometimes even absurd. Smart and developed people know social patterns, respect social patterns, know how to use them — and also know how to go beyond them, to be above them when they begin to interfere and fetter creativity.

So, do we need templates in life? — Yes, no doubt. Is it possible to live without templates? — Yes, sure. Where is the golden mean? — Wise people say: “Don’t go with the flow. You don’t have to swim against the current. You have to swim where you need to go.» To use patterns well, you need to learn to see them, and then think more often about what you really need. And then you will have a choice: if you want, use the template, or if you want, do it on your own. Blindness of templates is simple and familiar, but a developing person chooses to be above the templates, chooses to live meaningfully, independently determining their values ​​and their own path. Independence of thinking needs to be learned, and for this you need to be more critical of what usually seems natural and obvious to us.