Men no longer have a monopoly on adultery. Women who are in an extra-marital relationship have always existed, but today more and more of them are taking the plunge and accepting it. Why do women cheat? How do they deceive? Is female infidelity still taboo? We take stock with Evelyne Dillenseger, clinical sexologist.

An Ifop poll published in 2017 revealed that 33% of women had had sex with a partner other than their spouse at least once in their life, compared to 49% of men. A much lower proportion than that of male infidelity but on the rise, reported the same survey. In fact, in 2001, 24% of them had declared having cheated at least once in their life, and they were only 10% in 1970. For Evelyne Dillenseger, sexologist, women cheat as much as men. “In my consultations, I see that women are just as unfaithful as men. We can assume that during the polls, women downplay and men exaggerate the number of their extra-marital conquests ”.

The first cause of infidelity, common to men and women, is sexual and emotional dissatisfaction in the couple. “Men and women will satisfy their sexual desires outside the couple when their sexual development is no longer satisfactory with their partner. They will seek elsewhere to fill their sexual gap ”, explains Evelyne Dillenseger.

Asked about the reasons for their desire to look elsewhere, 62% of women say that physical attraction could play a “determining role”. They are also more than half (55%) to put forward the feelings for the person (the one with whom it is cheating) to explain the passage to the act. Although many of them portray the feelings of adultery, women also cheat just for the sake of sex. “Women are not only in feelings, restraint and emotions. They can also want sex for sex, make love without feeling in love, assume their infidelity, cheat without guilt ”, insists the sex therapist. 

Male infidelity appears to be more gender-focused than female infidelity. Women consider other “wiser” practices to be infidelity. Thus, when asked about infidelity, 51% of them confess to having dreamed of sexual intercourse with someone other than their spouse, 45% of them have already engaged in a game of seduction or have ever kissed someone other than their partner (46%).

In infidelity, stereotypes still die hard. “Unfortunately, even today an unfaithful woman is seen as an easy girl, a slut and an unfaithful man as a seducer, a don juan”, notes the sex therapist. This is why women are more likely to shut up their pranks, unlike men. There is still the best, tempers the specialist. “Today, women do not hesitate to take the plunge because the consequences of adultery are not the same as 30 or 40 years ago. They are more independent professionally and financially and can free themselves from their husband or their partner in the event of divorce or break-up. In addition, controlling pregnancies through contraception reduces the fear of an unwanted pregnancy resulting from an extra-marital relationship ”. You should know that before 1975, female infidelity was more severely penalized than that of men. “It was a moral fault, very frowned upon by society”, adds the sex therapist.

Manners have also evolved. Classic and extramarital dating sites are multiplying and their advertisements are displayed in the metro. Moreover, 42% of women say they can be tempted by dating sites to find a lover. They would nevertheless prefer general dating sites (37% of them) to sites specializing in extramarital affairs (29% of them).

Finally, today female adultery is visible everywhere. The roles of unfaithful women are multiplying in cinema, television, literature … “Female infidelity is no longer a taboo”, concludes the sex therapist. To