Understanding baby crying

In the first months of life, crying is a toddler’s primary means of expression. It is not always easy for us parents to decode the causes of this crying. Our experts will help you better understand these tears and give you advice on how to calm your baby.

Evening crying, or infant colic

“Since Paul was 1 month old, he cries intensely every night for two hours. Sometimes he squirms and his small clenched fists accompany his cries. Yet he is full and doing well. ” Mélanie

Why is my baby crying?

“These periodic crises of evening crying can set in over time, sometimes up to the baby’s 4 months. The baby is not sick, he sucks well, grows normally, his digestive system just needs time to mature, and this abdominal discomfort can bother him “, explains Dr Mazraani, pediatrician.

For Dr. Chabernaud, emergency pediatrician, these “inconsolable” crying is also part of normal infant development: “We have found that all babies in the world, whether Inuit, African, Indian or English … cry a lot at the end of the day. It is a very effective way to communicate and show their minor inconveniences, ”he notes. This crying is often qualified as “colic” of the infant, but in reality, it is a phenomenon which can have, beyond a digestive problem, a psychological dimension. Our two doctors evoke as possible causes the anxiety of separation which announces itself with the twilight, a emotional overload for a very sensitive little one, a reaction to parental stress, or a natural urge to cry.

How to react ?

• “Understand and accept this maturation process, and know that these crying will stop over time helps parents to cope more easily with this difficult period, ”reassures pediatrician Dr Chabernau.
• « Install your infant in a ventral baby carrier and go about your business. Contact with your body and movement will help to soothe it, ”advises Carole Bellemin-Noël, psychotherapist.
• To help him get rid of his gas, massage her bellywith the flat of your hand.
• « Take baby for a ride in a stroller or in a car, ”advises Dr. Mazraai, pediatrician. The movements of the pram and / or the hum of the engine quickly calms his tears.

Decode the baby’s crying: he cries during the feeding

“Lucas, 3 months old, very often starts to cry a few seconds after the start of the feed, and yet he is very hungry. “ Audrey

“Colomba, 4 months old, has been systematically vomiting for 48 hours at the end of her bottle, she cries, fidgets and cries. I don’t know what to do to calm her down. “ Brice

Why is my baby crying?

“A baby who stops drinking three minutes after starting to feed, starts crying and squirming may have esophagitis. As milk passes through their esophagus, which is irritated by gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), the newborn baby may scream in pain, ”explains Dr. Mazraani.

How to react ?

• Consult your pediatrician who, depending on the case, will change or thicken the milk, give an anti-acidity treatment or rule out a possible allergy to cow’s milk proteins.
• If you are breast-feeding, settle in a quiet place and feed baby by not tilting him too much when lying down.
• From the bottle, take breaks during the feed, and take the time to burp.

Baby is crying because he’s tired

“Victoire, 4 months old, laughs out loud when her big brother kisses her and makes her jump on his knees. But all of a sudden, nothing is working, she starts screaming and crying. I don’t understand why everything suddenly changes. “ Baptiste

Why is my baby crying?

“The noise, the bustle of the house, the visits, the feedings, the tweets… all disturbing elements for a newborn baby. By these prolonged cries, your baby expresses his need to be calm. He cries to say “stop” and evacuate this overflow, “notes Carole Bellemin-Noël.

How to react ?

• “Your baby needs calm, so you have to avoid him anything that can destabilize him : screams, aggressive lighting, nervousness or excitement. Make yourself comfortable in a quiet room, with dim light, your child against you. It will calm down slowly, ”advises Dr. Mazraani.
• Carole Bellemin-Noël advocates a bath, with relaxing properties. Skin-to-skin practice and sound of voice are also very effective in calming a baby.
• No need to overstimulate your infant with multiple objects. A rattle, the soft melody of a music box, a mobile with simple figurines, will do the trick.

Around 9 months, baby is afraid of the unknown

“My 9 month old Lina is a sociable baby. But for a few days, she starts screaming as soon as I put her in the arms of her grandma, whom she knows very well. I don’t know what to do to reassure her. “Nour

Why is my baby crying?

Between 6-10 months, the baby realizes that he becomes an individual in his own right, distinct from its mother and can therefore be separated from it. He then rejects anyone, even known to him, who comes too close, and he starts to cry. “Nothing serious, or personal, it is the beginning of individualization”, notes Carole Bellemin-Noël.

How to react ?

• This period is also called “separation anxiety”. To anticipate anticipate, from its 5 months, play hide and seek with him and “hello”. He will gradually become aware that we can separate, but above all, always find each other.
• In a time of crisis, no need to force him to go into other arms than yours. Take baby in your lap and advise your family and friends to approach him gently, smiling and addressing him gently.
• Avoid adaptation in a crèche or with the nanny during this critical phase.

Author: Elisabeth de la Morandière

* Co-author of “Le grand livre de mon enfant”, ed. Eyrolles. ** Co-author of “Le grand livre de mon enfant”, ed. Eyrolles.