A child goes to school not only for knowledge. He needs to communicate, make friends, try on different social roles. Therefore, it is important that the child finds a common language with peers and adapts to the requirements of teachers. But not all children find it easy.
Timid and shy children
Why? They are very shy, timid. We are sure that they consist entirely of shortcomings, but they have no positive qualities. These children are afraid to look ridiculous in the eyes of the teacher and classmates. They are afraid to answer at the blackboard, because there you need to say something smart, but they don’t know and can’t do something. And even if they do, something will still go wrong – it will seem to someone that they are not so combed, dressed …
Timid and shy children rarely show initiative, often doubt their abilities. It is difficult for them to make a decision and protect themselves. Therefore, usually they are simply not noticed, and they do not realize their capabilities and talents.
Tips for parents:
- Celebrate any victories and achievements of the child – this increases his self-confidence, raises self-esteem.
- Surround him with friendly people – invite friends with children to visit, relax in family camps, help your child find friends at playgrounds. The wider the social circle, the easier it will be for him to cope with shyness.
- Do not patronize him and gradually “let go” – ask, for example, that he buy something in the store. Often create safe situations in which he could interact with other people.
- Rehearse “dangerous” situations at home. Let, for example, imagine that he answers at the blackboard.
- Keep a calendar of achievements. Together with your child, celebrate any of his victories – today he was not afraid and made a report, tomorrow he read a poem at a school matinee.
- Choose the right circle. There is a theory that a child over 6 years old must have three social roles – in the yard, within the walls of the school, in the section.
- Consult a psychologist and take a group training to develop communication skills.
Lefties
Why? If the left hemisphere of the brain dominates in right-handed people, then in left-handed people the functions between the hemispheres are distributed in a more complex way. This explains the differences in cognitive activity.
Left-handed people more often than right-handed people are “not given” counting, writing and reading – all that is based on visual-spatial perception. They often confuse an oval with a circle, a rectangle with a rhombus, and often “mirror” letters. It is more difficult for them to memorize complex combinations of letters, and therefore they, as a rule, read more slowly, write with errors.
Tips for parents:
- Do not retrain your child to be right-handed. Just teach how to properly hold the pen in your left hand – you can buy special recipes for left-handed people.
- Do exercises to coordinate the actions of both hands – they may be advised by neuropsychologists. Ball games, weaving, modeling, embroidery are well suited.
- Give the child to swimming, figure skating, fencing, tennis. Choose a sport where coordination is especially important.
Anxious children
Why? Everything related to school makes them afraid. They are afraid of independent work, public speaking, “triples” and “twos”. At the same time, they are very diligent and responsible, often feeling guilty. Due to the constant internal stress, their performance decreases, it is difficult for them to switch from one activity to another.
Often, children who are sent to school too early suffer from anxiety. They are constantly upset, very emotionally react to the remarks of the teacher. Such age-related anxiety will gradually pass. But if the child became anxious in grades 5-11, it makes sense to visit a psychotherapist.
Tips for parents:
- Do not scold the child, do not make excessive demands on him. So that he does not worry about grades, you can even advise him to get a “deuce” at least once every quarter. To set up such an experiment – will it work?
- Talk to him about your anxieties and fears more often. Ask the child to draw his fear, compose a fairy tale about him: turned into drawings and words, fear loses its strength.
- Tell your child that everyone makes mistakes, and they should not be afraid. After all, in fact, any mistake is a valuable experience. They learn from mistakes, without them no achievement is possible.
- Help him find his favorite job. For anxious children, a fulcrum is extremely important.
- Choose a talisman. Give magic power to a toy, pen, bracelet, pendant – let this thing help in the classroom, during independent work, in exams.
- Teach your son or daughter self-regulation techniques: visualization, “thinking on paper”, relaxing breathing.
- Don’t laugh at his fears. If the child is afraid of the dark, let him sleep with a night light.
Aggressive children
Why? They hardly fit into the children’s team, they constantly interfere with everyone – they can do some dirty tricks at breaks or lessons, provoke fights, and persecute. They are terribly annoying, careless about other people’s things, often breaking or dirtying them.
Interestingly, “aggressive” boys fight “like girls” – scratching, biting, attacking and retreating, spitting. They try to offend or humiliate the offender. These kids are trying to manipulate everyone. Peers do not like “aggressors”, they try not to communicate with them, and as a result, they often turn into outcasts.
Tips for parents:
- Understand what is causing the aggressiveness. Maybe the child is just used to being the center of the universe? This happens with the long-awaited, only children in the family. Or maybe he, on the contrary, lacks attention and care. Often “aggressors” grow up with tough, authoritarian parents. Or become so after traumatic events. In these cases, family therapy is indicated.
- Talk to your child about each unpleasant incident. Explain to him what is happening, how other people react, why it is necessary to negotiate, and not “wave your fists.” Suggest other ways to solve the problem: “You could do this and that, and then everything would be different.” The child needs to know that there are alternative behaviors that are less traumatic and ultimately more beneficial.
- Exclude aggressive cartoons, crime programs, action films and horror films. Do not allow your child to play “war games” on the computer and tablet. Speak what is happening on the screen, evaluate whether it is good or bad, switch your son or daughter to other activities.
- Do not humiliate the child, do not punish physically, do not discuss his behavior in front of others. Hug him more often, use positive reinforcement – praise him for the fact that today he never got into a fight, and behaved with dignity in a conflict situation.
- Make sure he walks for at least two hours a day. Physical activity is very important. A good option is the sports section. It will be better if the classes are held outdoors. Teach your child techniques that relieve tension and give vent to emotions (“crumple the paper”, “beat the pear”, “talk on the canvas”, etc.)
Frequently ill children
Why? Due to the fact that they often skip classes, they constantly have to “catch up” with classmates. And they miss not only lessons, but also school holidays, excursions, and eventually become “turned off” from the life of the class. Sick children get tired faster than others, they are often prone to emotional outbursts. As a rule, they have low self-esteem.
Tips for parents:
- Choose the optimal load level for them. Do not try to enroll in the strongest school, with the strongest teacher, “load” with additional classes – the child will only suffer from this.
- Think over the daily routine to the smallest detail. Let him get up, have lunch, study “by the hour”. The more predictable the day is, the easier it will be for the child to switch from one activity to another. Get outdoors as often as possible.
- Create situations in which the child will interact with other children, preferably on the street.
- Make sure that the illness does not become a “secondary benefit” for the child.