Plato wrote about several kinds of love. What do we remember? Eros, ludus, agape…
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In Greek philosophy, the following main types of love were distinguished: eros, ludus, mania, storge, pragma, agape.
Eros — passionate love-hobby, the desire for complete physical possession of a loved one.
Ludus is a love game, a game for fun. In such love, feelings are quite superficial, so much so that betrayal is allowed on both sides.
Storge — love-friendship based on tender, warm, reliable relationships.
These are the three basic styles of love. But there may be options. In relationships and in feelings, there can be elements of two styles at once.
Pragma (this is a combination of ludus and storge). And the feelings are not so deep, but there are elements of warmth and reliability. This is love by design. Not a marriage of convenience (in such a marriage there may not be love), but love of convenience. Such love is easily controlled by reason. As the name suggests, love is pragmatic. With elements of benefit (not always necessarily material). Can arrange communication with this person, his personal qualities, sexual virtues, and so on. It can even be love in exchange for the love of the one you love. This is also a calculation.
Agape (combination of eros and storge). This is selfless love. (Agape sacrificial love, disinterested self-giving, the dissolution of the lover in caring for the beloved). Everything is here — passion, tenderness, reliability, and selfless devotion. This style is not very common. But if both partners love in this style, they can only be envied. Here is another problem. If suddenly a person who loves in this style loses the object of love, the meaning of life for him may be lost.
Mania (combination of eros and ludus). This is irrational love-obsession. And it necessarily accompanies insecurity and dependence on the object of love. This is the very case when they rush into love «like into a pool.» It is this kind of love that breaks people’s lives, destroys families … But sometimes families arise thanks to it. And people become happy. But you can’t love like this forever, and this style of love is destructive. Either mania sooner or later must develop into another style. Either love disappears (hatred or indifference may remain). Or those who love so much die.
At the same time, marriages are known where such relationships and feelings last for years and decades. But in order to live like this and be satisfied, you need to be an obvious masochist, enjoying suffering. If you are not a masochist, then you need to perceive this style of love simply as a necessary measure or a temporary phenomenon (until it is reborn into another, more harmless style).