I wanted to both be a loving mother (not yelling!) And look my husband in the eye from time to time. I felt like I had done my best for Victoria and Alessio and had completely put Giuliano aside. The ten days of separation when she was born had a lot to do with it, but I also did not understand what this baby was telling me. I have asked him, many times, to try to tell me things differently. Poor guy, he was simply claiming his due.
Today, I forgave myself my lack of motherhood with Giuliano. A mom of twins helped me with a talk about her experience. She said she didn’t try to give both of her children the same care because it wasn’t possible (it always feels like being unfair in the end! ). She was closer to the one who needed her most for a period of time, and then the wheel turned.
But I realize that I can’t let it happen naturally. Whatever other moms say, we get attached more to one than the other. During the whole period of “learning” to know Giuliano, I got so close to him that Victoria moved away from me to go to her father. Despite my efforts, I always struggle a little for her to come to me (ok, it’s a girl, her adored daddy, blah blah…).
Do you want to talk about it between parents? To give your opinion, to bring your testimony? We meet on https://forum.parents.fr.