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Behavior of twins: the twin fusion stage
Between birth and 2 years, the twins will experience a first phase called ” twin fusion “. Fabrice Bak, psychologist and specialist in twinning even speaks of a twin “entity”. This is a stage that does not exist in the only child. This extra step can cause a small delay in children’s development, which most often goes unnoticed and is often caught up very quickly. In fact, children go to develop as an entity, “to be together”, much more than individually. ” Parents of twins know how difficult it is to take care of young twins, to give them the same attention, the same demands. For example, when the two children cry, it is very difficult to see them as the source of two distinct and individual requests. Often times, if one is changed, the other will be changed too. If one is fed, the other will be too »Explains Isabelle Sudre, president of Jumeaux et Plus. Thus, the initial stage of unification within the twin entity is considered by specialists as the founder of the bond between twin children.
Between 2 and 6-7 years, the stage of complementarity of twins
Then, between 2 and 6-7 years old, the twins go through a so-called “complementarity” phase. At that point, one of the twins would gain the upper hand over the other. In the 60s, psychologist René Zazzo, a great specialist in twins, spoke of twin development in the form of a “dominant vs. dominated” relationship. Today, experts believe that this operation is not set in stone and continues to evolve. According to Isabelle Sudre, “ by the need to differentiate twins from each other, parents seek to attribute to them characteristics that are specific to them “. At this age, the child’s thinking begins to take shape, as does his personality. Isabelle Sudre specifies that ” the children will be solicited one after the other. One of the twins will therefore evolve, but the other will find himself in a position of spectator and not of actor “. He will have to wait to be called upon in turn to reach the same level. As the solicitations are never exactly identical towards one or the other child, the development of their personality will therefore take place in successive stages. This method of construction is carried out in “jerks”. Specialists also justify the delay of twin children in their development by this maturation, lagged behind, much longer than in single children. This period of complementarity is fundamental. It allows children to go through a transition level before reaching full autonomy.
The autonomy of twins: a first step towards 6/7 years
The following period, that of autonomy, will allow the twins, each in turn, to find themselves at the center of the interactions. At that point, they will experience some form of empowerment. The demands will diversify during this period. They will affect each child as an individual and no longer as ” twin entity “. Schooling for example brings a rebalancing. And the delay that began in previous developmental periods will diminish. The twins will be differentiated, and considered to have a very distinct personality. ” At Jumeaux et Plus, we recommend leaving the twins together at back to school hinges (kindergarten, CP and 6) »Specifies Isabelle Sudre. She also advises parents to consider the separation of the twins slowly. « Physical separation is not THE answer to the good development of twins. It is an action fraught with consequences that must be well thought out before its implementation and discussed with the children. ».
Development of twins: a second phase of autonomy after 12-13 years
This second stage, which begins in adolescence, marks the capacity for the twins to live their own life, with their desires, without the approval or the presence of their twin. This so-called complete autonomy allows the twins to build an emotional relationship with a third person. For Fabrice Bak “ It is the completion of self-assertion as an individual. Also, even if this couple relationship, totally different from the twin relationship, does not replace the latter, it nevertheless involves a separation of the twins. ». Another change: the adolescent crisis. At this point, children go through a moment in their lives when it is a question of redefining the relationship between them and their parents. Teen twins will also do this with their siblings. In the end, experts insist that, even if the twins eventually develop their own personalities and lead independent lives, they still remain linked throughout their lives, through their physical and intellectual similarities which greatly influence their existence. and a fortiori when it comes to identical twins. Sophie, a young twin woman, testifies: “ My sister lives in Rennes and I in Paris. As soon as one of us goes through a difficult moment in his life, we feel it and we call each other right away to talk about it. Anyway, we phone each other almost every day! ».