20 years in the FBI — «as a behavioral analyst, I developed a strategy to recruit spies and make friends from sworn enemies» — this is the experience that Jack Schafer suggests we use. With his help, and with the assistance of management specialist Marvin Carlins, charm turns from a mysterious ability available only to those who have it from birth into a property that can be developed at will. However, this book is not a manual for manipulators, but a guide to establishing friendships. What is the difference? The fact that the manipulator pursues exclusively his own interests and causes other people to feel guilt, fear, shame. Whereas friendship includes benevolent attention and interest in another person. Where to get them and how to manifest them — and not necessarily resorting to words for this — will be discussed. One of the secrets: sometimes you can increase the sympathy of others simply by abandoning the «angry city look» characteristic of many residents of large cities. What they often do not even suspect.
Mann, Ivanov & Ferber, 336 pp., 2015.