“I trusted him so much, but he! ..” Almost every one of us had to experience such feelings at least once in our lives: bitterness, resentment, mental pain, discovering that our disposition was abused, and openness was turned to our detriment.
However, is our partner always to blame for what happened? Perhaps we unwittingly became the cause of this situation? Before putting yourself on the pedestal of an innocent victim of perfidious betrayal, it seems to me that it is worth thinking about the line that separates trust from its dangerous counterpart — gullibility.
It’s easy to be trusting — even children can do it.
Credulity is like moving in one direction, like playing with one goal: it means that we trust another, recklessly and completely give ourselves into his hands.
A gullible person, in principle, is not able to discern a partner, building relationships not with him — alive and real, but with his own idealistic idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbhim. That is why gullibility is often called blind, and that is why it is often used, exploiting in their own interests.
Relationships of trust are always the result of mutual efforts
Quite another matter is trust. Relationships of trust are always the result of mutual efforts: they can be compared to a bridge that connects two banks and is built by people living on both sides of the river.
Trust is accompanied not by faith, but by certainty. The formation of a trusting relationship involves repeated and mutual signals, evidence, confirming feelings of location, sympathy and love. Unlike one-sided gullibility, trust is the result of the creative and meaningful work of two.
In an effort to build an equal, respectful and deep relationship with a partner, it is always useful to listen not only to your own feelings and emotions, but also to the impulses that he (she) gives us in response. Only in this way can we be sure that our trust is not a figment of our imagination.
Of course, such a desire to “feel the difference” cannot serve as one hundred percent insurance against the abuse of our feelings, but it will help us to better understand the quality of relationships with a partner and thereby protect ourselves from deliberately high expectations, unfulfilled hopes and bitter disappointments that inevitably follow.