Trumps of the World Wide Web

“The Internet saved me from depression.” 24-year-old Alla speaks about this without the slightest pathos – she simply states a fact. In 2001, she was preparing for the entrance exams to the Pedagogical Institute. The prospect of studying did not attract her at all, she felt melancholy, loneliness, hopelessness … until a friend “connected” her to the Network. As a result, Alla changed her plans, on the advice of a virtual friend, instead of a pedagogical one, she entered the Printing Institute at the Faculty of Design. She found her first job in her specialty through the Internet, met her fiancé on the Internet, and spends her evenings and weekends with a group of friends whom she met through her own blog (online diary). Alla’s case is quite typical for today. The World Wide Web has become almost the most effective mechanism for establishing social ties.

Anonymous informality

“The beauty of the Internet is that it allows you to instantly meet an incredible number of people,” says family therapist Ekaterina Kadieva. “Relationships are established easily and quickly, addressing you is considered the norm, and if a person immediately goes to a thematic community where everyone is united by the same interest, then from the very beginning he knows with whom he will deal and where to start the conversation.” Indeed, virtual communication is much less formalized than contacts “in real life”. “When meeting on the Internet, you can not think about conventions and immediately get down to business,” Alla notes.

Another important advantage of virtual communication is anonymity. It allows everyone to open up, as in an intimate setting. This is especially evident in blogs. “I call such diaries not personal, but public,” comments the French psychoanalyst Serge Tisseron. “We fought for the right to intimacy for a long time, and having achieved it, we saw that intimacy is boring if there is no one to share it with.”

In some cases, when communicating on the Web, the principle of a “random fellow traveler” is triggered – an unfamiliar, alien person to whom you can pour out your soul. However, few people need it. “They share personal rather in order to show themselves from all sides, to let others understand what you really are, and to enlist their approval,” says Ekaterina Kadieva. “In this way, we receive confirmation of our own significance and the reality of our existence.” Of course, by telling intimate things about ourselves, we count on the favor of our readers. “It turns out like with psychoanalysis, where the patient lies on the couch and, without seeing the analyst, imagines him as a benevolent, understanding listener,” adds Serge Tisseron. “Internet visitors often delve into very personal issues, partly because there is no direct evaluative glance.”

28,1 million Russians roam the Internet*. They correspond on forums, meet each other in chats, and their words fill one of the largest blogospheres in Europe with life.

* According to the Public Opinion Foundation, www.fom.ru

To speak out, to slightly open the door to your inner world – sometimes this way of establishing contact becomes the beginning of a strong relationship. Oksana, 36, has been chatting with her virtual friend for a whole year now. “Our friendship began with a heated discussion at one of the forums. In real life, after this, I would never continue the relationship. And here – please: now I feel completely free with him and I can tell what I am not always ready to entrust even to my closest relatives. According to Ekaterina Kadieva, today we can talk about the emergence of a new form of individualism – sociable individualism: “Today, everyone is more interested in themselves than ever, but we all understand that we need others in order to better understand ourselves.” 18-year-old Lisa agrees with this opinion: “I have always had complexes about my fullness and often talked about it on forums. Until one day I noticed: this does not bother my interlocutors! It turns out that I myself belittled myself, based on the judgment that I myself made.

To develop as a person, to realize oneself is one of the most important desires. But at the same time, the opposite desire lives in each of us – to feel community with other people. And the Internet allows us to combine both of these needs: communicating on the Web, we can talk about ourselves, while at the same time establishing relationships with people who share our views and interests. “It is important for many of us to know that other people live the same way as we do,” says Ekaterina Kadieva. – That they have the same difficulties, the same joys and problems. And the Internet is indispensable for this.” So, thanks to daily communication on the forums with young mothers, 26-year-old Karina managed to cope with the feeling of loneliness and emptiness that accompanied the birth of a child. Evgenia, 40, found help and support when her cat developed diabetes. And 31-year-old Andrei satisfies several of his needs on the Web at once: he organizes mini-festivals of videos with movie lovers he met on the forum of the cinephile site, and on the pages of his LiveJournal * he discusses political issues with staunch liberals like him …

Useful communication

In addition to close relationships with family and friends, we also need other contacts – with colleagues, neighbors, parents of the child’s classmates … These connections give us the opportunity to form a social environment around ourselves, the maintenance of which through real, rather than virtual contacts, would require huge emotional and time costs . Now, to solve this problem, there are resources of the so-called web 2.0 – the social Internet, where everyone can organize their own social circle or use a social network to solve certain pragmatic problems.

Perhaps the main practical motive for participating in social networks is the search for a job or a part-time job. 29-year-old Alina is a graphic artist. Her blog serves as a resume and portfolio. Thanks to him, she meets illustrators from other cities. “There are few artists in my town, and it would take me a long time to meet at least half of the ones I met on the Web. Moreover, I received all my today’s orders thanks to virtual contacts.

The idea of ​​a professional network is not new, but for a long time there was no technological possibility in the world to make it truly effective. The Internet, on the other hand, allows professionals in various fields to maintain contacts with each other, recommend each other to potential employers, exchange experiences, and also find new ways to apply their own strengths. “Today, searching through social networks is one of the most frequent ways to fill our vacancies,” says Lyubov Shokina, recruitment specialist at the AFS publishing house. “Only on the Internet can we get full information about the applicant, check his work experience and get recommendations from people who know him personally.”

Expand horizon

The unique possibilities that the Internet gives us make it the most important social technology that simplifies the maintenance and establishment of contacts. Sometimes the results of our virtual life directly affect the real life. On September 14, XNUMX-year-old Polina came to the new school in complete disarray – she did not know anyone there. And suddenly four girls came up to her at once: “You are Polina! And we read your LiveJournal! The virtual acquaintance did an excellent job: at one moment the girl found four new friends.

“The Internet is an excellent tool for expanding the horizons in friendship, professional activity and even love. But, like any tool, it works well only when we realize the limits of its capabilities,” says Ekaterina Kadieva. These boundaries are associated with virtuality and anonymity: they favor intimacy, but they are also the main reason that deception and manipulation flourish on the Internet. “If communication does not turn into real life, it remains superficial,” says Ekaterina Kadiyeva. “Usually, if people are really interested in each other, then after a while they begin to exchange photos, and if possible, they make appointments for each other.” That is why even the most active users of the World Wide Web turn off their computer monitors from time to time for the sake of real meetings. Meetings that would never have taken place if not for the Internet.

* LiveJournal (www.livejournal.com) is one of the most popular sites for creating blogs in Runet, the name of which has become a household name for any online diary. 28,1 million Russians surf the Internet*. They correspond on forums, meet each other in chats, and their words fill one of the largest blogospheres in Europe with life.

5 sites for communication

www.odnoklassniki.ru

A social network designed to renew contacts with fellow students and colleagues. Pros. It is easy to find the right person, you can exchange messages and store correspondence.Минусы. Rigid moderation of photos, it is very difficult to delete your page.

www.vkontakte.ru

The main audience is students and schoolchildren who are looking for friends here and create their own groups for communication.Pros. Video and audio albums are not limited in size.Минусы. There is no way to track visitors to your page.

www.moikrug.ru

A resource for acquiring professional contacts.Pros. Users can search for employees or jobs by getting recommendations from colleagues and friends.Минусы. The presence of participants on the site is not displayed.

www.sosedi-online.ru

Acquaintance and communication with people living in the neighborhood.Pros. A convenient way to share useful information: when the water is turned off, where is the nearest ATM, when the doctor is in the clinic.Минусы. Inconvenient site navigation system.

www.loveplanet.ru

The largest dating system in Runet. Site visitors communicate through private messages, keep diaries and make appointments.Pros. Online communication is focused on a quick transition to “real”. Минусы. No moderation..

About it

• Alex Exler “Communication on the Internet” NT Press, 2006.
• Igor Kon Friendship. Ethical and psychological study “Peter, 2005.