Contents
As a rule, when meeting with a transsexual, people feel uncomfortable and often look away. We did a bit of investigating to find out what hits us so hard when confronted with ambiguous sexuality.
Basic Ideas
- Transgender people force us to face a reality that we have a hard time accepting: there is something feminine in every man and something masculine in every woman.
- The desire for sexual intimacy with a transsexual may mask a repressed desire for a homosexual experience.
- Judgment and embarrassment towards transsexuals is most often nothing more than a mask: we do not want to show them our sympathy.
Pass the tests
- How does the brain control your sex life?
- Discover the nature of your sexuality
She has long legs and a mop of red hair, translucent skin and clear eyes. She walks down the street, everyone they meet turns around, looks after her. But not because she is 180 cm tall, but because she is a transsexual. More precisely, a transsexual, as she prefers to call herself. Biologically male, psychologically female. We meet them in everyday life, these women-not-women, for whom a skirt is almost always a hard-won victory: very bright makeup, catchy clothes, a hoarse voice and gestures that deliberately emphasize how proud he (a) is. be transgender. Such encounters often make us feel awkward, which we cannot explain to ourselves: incomprehensible sexuality attracts us, annoys us, arouses contempt or curiosity. Especially if the transsexuals themselves are far from boasting and showing off. They take on “normal roles” and it overturns our beliefs, makes us doubt ourselves, creates a mess that we can’t explain to ourselves.
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- Why do homosexuals cause aggression in men?
repressed reality
“Attraction, like embarrassment, is born out of ambiguity,” explains philosopher Antonella Lacarbonara. – In transsexuals, the masculine and feminine principles converge at one point, which cannot be overlooked. This is what confronts us with a reality that we do not really like: the realization that there is something masculine in every woman, and something feminine in every man.
To understand what people around them think about transsexuals, the Italian Psychologies asked a question to relatives, friends, and relatives. They all answered something like this: “I never had a special reason to love them or hate them, but their duality does not leave me indifferent, and I cannot explain to myself the reason.” Or: “I hate to see a woman like me, often more beautiful and brighter than me, knowing that this is actually a man.” Or: “Homosexuality does not bother me at all, I even know several homosexual couples. But what I feel about transsexuals is hard for me to express: some intrigue me, some annoy me, maybe because I’m a woman and I feel that they have something that I don’t have. Some additional trump card.
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- Save a couple: what sexologists and psychotherapists offer
Dream of XNUMX% Sexuality
A mix of the most diverse reactions (sometimes completely opposite) that a person experiences when confronted with a transsexual can coexist in it rather chaotically. Psychologist Riccardo Galiani clarifies this situation: “Transsexuals seem to have the ability to transcend the predetermined boundary, to overcome the difference between the sexes.” They seem to deny the eternal, unshakable and harsh division into men and women. This is precisely the central point of their sexuality. “They seem to have an exhaustive sexuality, which is unconsciously the dream of each of us: the dream of omnipotence,” says Riccardo Galiani. One hundred percent sexuality, physical and psychological. The transgender is the embodiment of this, unlike us: those who from the very beginning, from the very birth, are on one side or the other of the scales. “In addition, our attitude towards transsexuals is akin to that of a curious child who is afraid of everything unknown,” Antonella Lacarbonara clarifies. “At the same time, we also have a childish desire to peek through the keyhole to try to explore what scares us and inexorably attracts us.” Evidence of this is the number of queries in search engines. Demand creates supply, and there is plenty of it.
Read more:
- How are roles distributed in a homosexual couple?
A form of self-defense
It can be argued that intimacy with a transsexual is quite safe: we do not get too out of the rut of our own sexuality, we can continue to deny a more or less conscious desire for a homosexual experience. On the other hand, transsexuals can cause strong rejection. “I don’t want to sound like a person who condemns differences. But transsexuals make me feel resentful for the entire male sex”: here is another opinion, this time by men. However, paradoxically, it may not indicate what is being declared. “Reproaches, disgust are most often a mask that shows that interest (attraction) is much deeper than it seems,” explains Riccardo Galiani. Denial or disgust can actually be a form of self-defense that allows you to avoid focusing on uncomfortable desires/impulses/drives that conflict with accepted and desired heterosexuality. Usually, after all, the most zealous opponents and detractors turn out to be those who are most attracted to what they reproach and blame. This is also important in relation to transsexuals, which actually brings us back to the myth that everything is possible.
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Transsexual, bisexual, transgender…
In a world of fluid sexuality, it is often difficult to know who is who. The differences are sometimes very subtle, but they clearly define different directions of sexual orientation. A small guide to help you figure it out.
Transsexual. A person who feels like he belongs to the opposite sex. The concept of transsexuality includes both directions: “MtF”, that is, from a man to a woman, and “FtM”, that is, from a woman to a man.
transgender. A person who is “between the two sexes” and who has not yet made the decision to have sex reassignment surgery.
Transvestite. A person who experiences sexual satisfaction from wearing clothing normally worn by the opposite sex; at the same time, such a person is not going to change sex.
Homosexual. A person who is attracted to members of the same sex. The term comes from the word “homos”, translated from Greek – “same”.
Bisexual. A person who is emotionally involved and has sexual relations with both sexes. Sometimes bisexuality is interpreted as a screen with which one can avoid the recognition of one’s homosexuality, which is more or less latent.