Children play emotions by copying their parents.
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Children are happy to repeat everything that we tell them — with our gestures and our intonations. Listen to yourself!
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Children copy adults with pleasure. By copying the behavior of adults, children master this world. Children like any physical activity, they like not only to run, but also to fall, they like to be offended and shy, they like to kiss and fight, they like to copy adults when they smile and when they swear. Children copy us when we smile at them: they copy our smile. Children copy us when we make a surprised smile — and we suddenly see our child’s surprised eyes. The child copies our arms and shoulders when we clasp our hands tiredly, and will soon learn to make the same tired shoulders. Children copy our fear and our uncertainty from us, and when we vigorously swear at them, they memorize all the details with their inherent energy in order to start shouting at someone else convincingly somewhere.
Parents educate their children by example first. Yes? — Not certainly in that way. The truth is that the behavior of parents is indeed an important pattern that is usually copied by children, but children observe the behavior of not only parents, but also those around them, plus on TV or through a computer, children often see patterns that are often much more vivid. Life would be too easy if the matter of upbringing would be reduced only to ensuring that parents themselves behave with dignity … Unfortunately, everything is more complicated, and the restrained behavior of parents is far from always contagious than wild screams and bright crooked faces in cartoons.
The importance of one’s own, personal example is usually spoken of from a pedagogical point of view, so that parents «do not blame» external influences and would look first of all at their own behavior. Yes, this is useful, but to say that “you can really teach someone only by your own example” is, of course, an exaggeration: there are no such data in science. Moreover, there is evidence that a person learns from a variety of sources and through a variety of channels. In any family, parallel to learning from samples, learning occurs through positive and negative reinforcement (conscious and unconscious), through suggestion and through reasonable discussion …
Accordingly, it is more accurate to say that parents need to take care not only to behave decently themselves, but also to win competition with other models that are attractive to the child, to attract the attention of the child and to be the central figure with whom he will copy the style, manners and way of life.
How? Let’s think together.
If you spend more time with your children, yes, it will help. More often what is in front of the eyes is copied.
And when you are in a company, look at the eyes of the child: does he look at you more often or more at everyone else around him? If on others, then it’s time for you to develop leadership skills in yourself (I’m not kidding) and learn how to behave in such a way that the views in any company are primarily on you. Look at the leader!
Easier and more realistic: involve your child in learning good habits with you. Teach yourself good posture — ask the children to follow you. When they notice that you are slouching, you have three squats. Option — a fine from you in favor of the one who caught you stooping. You can be sure that soon the children will begin to follow not only your posture, but also their posture, they will walk with a straight back and squat with you. This is fun!
Similarly, you can involve them in mastering the habit of “Remove Nets”, clear speech without junk words, and other Distance exercises feasible for children.
Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov
Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.