Our regular author Lyubov Vysotskaya, mother of six-year-old Tolik, tells what she was not ready for when raising a boy.
It is generally accepted that society puts pressure on women. It really crushes. Lose weight, give birth, endure, prepare, feed, lose weight again. But at the same time, it is generally accepted that men are such kings who are above all stereotypes. And the maximum that they can hear in their address: “No noah, you’re a boy.” But in fact, the boys are also under pressure. First of all, stereotypes. They have to follow their lead and teach them to a child who still does not understand what is wrong with a girl’s doll or why it is not worth buying a pink satchel.
It all started with the fact that my preschooler became interested in the cartoon “Fairy Patrol”. For those who are new to modern Russian animation, there is a small synopsis: four fairy girls, the city of Myshkin and fairy tales as an entourage. The cartoon, surprisingly, is not bad, almost “Winx”, only in our opinion. But this is not what we are talking about now.
As you can imagine, any successful project involves the appearance of goods under this brand. Toys, stationery, clothes with pictures and so on. “Fairy Patrol” – so far, coloring pages, books and two sets of dolls. It was on them that my little peasant broke down.
“For girls,” a child with a correct and clear gender orientation snorted contemptuously. Yes, in his incomplete seven, he had already fully tasted the delights of the phrase #tyzboychik.
And at the same time he squinted with a sad eye at the TV screen, where beauties were advertised.
Pretty women – I’m not being ironic. And I also want such a doll. But I’m a girl, I can. And he is a boy!
At the same time, we have a bunch of figures of firefighters from the cartoon “Fireman Sam”, people from “Lego”, various policemen. There is a big Darth Vader and the same Luke Skywalker. Why aren’t they dolls? From the point of view of functionality – dolls. But I look at them calmly. And I can’t imagine a curly doll in a dress in the hands of my boy. I can’t even imagine Ken. Maybe because he’s Barbie’s husband?
Stereotypical thinking? The most that neither is. At the same time, in my childhood I had cars, pistols. Even a wooden sword, which I carried out into the street to play musketeers. And no one told me that I was “like a boy.”
I remembered a curious incident: my son asked for a toy ATM. I found him. But! Only pink and only in the “Toys for Girls” section. Of course, we bought it then. Well, they laughed. And now it’s not funny. A girl playing cars will not be judged. A boy with a doll in his hands will be laughed at. Why such an injustice?
Let’s say I give him these dolls. My husband will not understand me first. He didn’t even allow the child to buy a toy kitchen. But the son wanted to. I really wanted to. There was no pulling him away from the pots and pans. Who knows, maybe we strangled culinary talent in the bud?
Then my grandparents will not understand me. And the boys in kindergarten will not understand the son.
The fear of being “not like everyone else” is stronger than desire. So we’d rather buy transformers. Also dolls, but freaks. Just like a man.
Interview
Would you buy your son a doll?
– Yes, this is an ordinary toy and there is nothing wrong with it.
– We also have a stroller, my son rolls it on the site, no one laughs.
– I would buy, but my husband will definitely be against it.
– I won’t buy a doll, but I did buy other “girly” toys: a kitchen, a vacuum cleaner.
– No, boys have their own toys, girls have theirs.