In the yard of the XXI century. It seems that all prejudices have long been discarded, as if pleasure in sex is the lot of only men and some not quite respectable women. The female orgasm has been rehabilitated in all respects. Why are so many women unable to achieve it?
Well, I confess! My vagina is a real feminist. Just as my mind, heart, and soul tell me that a woman is equal to a man in work, school, and home, so my vagina demands equality in bed.
For too long, for thousands of years, the female orgasm was not considered something important. He was not given any importance, he was forgotten by men, and even by women, for whom he was nothing more than a happy, but optional accident, which can be boasted to friends or neglected as an empty fantasy. And finally, the time has come for women to say: enough is enough! My orgasm exists!
Yes, it requires a little more skill and effort, but it deserves the same respect as the male one. It cannot be said that we are not seeing any progress in this respect. Some men are really attentive to the needs of their partners.
However, almost 75% of women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone, and 15%, most likely, will not climax at all under any circumstances. At the same time, according to Carol Quinn, a sexologist-researcher from San Francisco, at least 75% of men can achieve orgasm as a result of intercourse.
Let me what’s going on? Fortunately, there are ways to defend the female orgasm without faking it. Of course, not everything is so simple, we are all unique. Still, here are some useful ideas that you might find useful.
Direction — south
Explore and learn to appreciate your “lower floor”. Figure out what makes you happy. A good vibrator can help with this. Give it a try and let go of any prejudice that women shouldn’t masturbate or watch porn. Of course, most porn films do not reflect the female point of view, and this is because historically the woman has played a passive role in sex.
The more women will defend their right to enjoy sex, the sooner this request will be fulfilled. You don’t need to spend money on BDSM gear like the one described in 50 Shades of Grey, but avoiding toys or other adult entertainment is also too much. Find out what turns you on and you will definitely see the sky in diamonds.
Source of pleasure
The female orgasm is something like Morse code. For the most part, it is incomprehensible to us. According to the movies, a woman always achieves a magical orgasm at the same moment as her partner, after which, exhausted, they lie in each other’s arms, slowly returning to the real world.
But, according to recent studies, only 25% of women achieve orgasm directly during intercourse. Contrary to all the talk about the female G-spot, many more women experience orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and not from intercourse.
The reason is in the thousands of nerve endings located in this zone, while the vagina has a much more modest ability to respond to stimulation.
The importance of stimulating this zone has been impressively demonstrated by Indiana University biologist Elizabeth Lloyd in her book The Whims of the Female Orgasm: Fallacies in Evolutionary Theory. In particular, she claims: «The clitoris plays a paramount role for sexual pleasure.»
Ian Kerner, a sex therapist and author of Give in to the Lady: How Smart Men to Pleasure a Woman, also emphasizes this point, stating, “Nine out of ten times, women fail to orgasm because of insufficient clitoral stimulation.”
So, if you correctly orient your partner, this will be a big step forward. During intercourse, try to find positions that evoke the same sensations as during masturbation, or maximize clitoral stimulation. For some, for example, the “woman on top” position helps.
Speak
Knowing what kind of foreplay turns you on will help your partner understand what you love with your tips. For example, some women enjoy oral sex, others don’t. Talk to your partner about this, even if you feel a little awkward giving him directions. Don’t expect immediate results, here progress is made gradually. It remains to be hoped that the partner will not refuse your proposals, even if they take more time than the two and a half minutes that he himself has enough.
And you, men, be more attentive to the desires of your partner and the signals of her body. For example, women often need a trusting and erotic atmosphere to develop natural lubrication — so help them by adding romance to your meetings like a candlelit dinner or a bouquet of flowers just like that, for no reason. And of course, if you intend to create the right mood, you will have to turn off your favorite series, as well as your favorite sports channel.
Remember the foreplay, which includes kissing and caressing erogenous zones: chest, abdomen, neck and groin. The style of behavior of a man, soft or aggressive, depends on the prompts of a woman. Talking about your preferences is the key to good sex.
Good prospects
Selfish sex is, without a doubt, bad. If your partner doesn’t care about you, tell them goodbye. A real man will try to please you as much as you please him, and will never make fun of you if you talk about it.
Fortunately, the new generation of men seem to have more contact with the feminine side of their personality. They feel more subtle, better aware of the needs of their partner and strive for harmony with her. Let’s hope that someday the time will come when no woman will say to her partner: “Are you already? And what about me?!»
About the author: Emily Ton is a columnist for Elite Daily.