We are glad to welcome you, dear readers of the blog! When a person is unable to satisfy some of his needs, he is looking for workarounds. That is, easier, more accessible ways that will give him the emotions he needs so much. And if he uses them often enough, he becomes addicted. In fact, why endure the tension and invent how to fulfill the need, if there are wonderful substitutes that will give almost the same sensations? And today we will talk about the safer of all other types of addiction — the passion for making unnecessary purchases. And also about how to recover from shopaholism? That is what this condition is called.
Causes
As already mentioned, the reason is the inability to satisfy the need in a direct way. Moreover, it can consist not only in getting some emotions, but also in muffling them. For example, in moments of lack of love and warmth, a person feels so wounded that he is unable to cope with pain, despair, disappointment and sadness on his own. The thought of being alone with his thoughts and feelings terrifies him. Why the first impulse will be to replace them with others. For example, the joy and satisfaction of making a successful purchase.
It often manifests itself as a habitual way of responding to stress. And it starts, of course, from childhood. Have you noticed how they usually soothe small children? They are offered something to buy so that they stop crying and switch to more pleasant, positive emotions. Broken toy? Lost? It doesn’t matter, we’ll buy a new one, just don’t be upset. Argued with a friend? Well, but we gave you a cool machine gun, no one in the yard has such a thing. Familiar situations?
From childhood, a child is taught to ignore his own condition, to withstand stress. And this seems to be a message of love, who wants to see the suffering of their child? But it actually comes out as a disservice. Because then in the structure of the personality there is no knowledge and experience of living through unpleasant situations and frustrations. He then does not know how to appreciate what he has. Why, because you can easily go and replace with something else if necessary. And it’s good if finances allow, but imagine what shopaholics who are limited in funds face?
And if the craving for spending money is only temporary, you should not sound the alarm. Perhaps, at this period of life, a person is simply not able to cope with problems in a different way. For example, this is possible at the end of a relationship with a loved one. Temporarily, there are simply no resources to withstand the pain, and new shoes or a watch muffle it at least a little. But if you understand that shopaholism is your problem, or relatives, friends constantly point this out to you, it is time to take care of your health, and financial well-being as well.
Evidence
- The presence of unpacked purchases. Since there is no need to purchase a certain thing, a person can only be satisfied at the moment of paying for the purchase. Then completely lose interest in it. And true shopaholics can easily find unpacked things that they don’t know how to dispose of later. And in general, they often do not remember about their existence;
- Irrationality. This is when the twenty-fifth sweater and the tenth black skirt appear in the closet, because she is not like the others. Even if it’s on discount. This indicates the presence of psychological problems;
- Relaxation. If immediately after a quarrel with someone there is an irresistible desire to go shopping, this is a distress signal;
- Adrenalin. Or vice versa, the person experiences an increase in energy and vigor. She becomes active, seems cheerful and happy. And this euphoria does not last long;
- Stealth. There is a need to hide information about recent purchases from loved ones. You have to hide things, keep back and even deceive;
- Guilt. Every time you pay at the checkout, you get the feeling that you are doing something bad, doing something wrong. And that punishment must necessarily overtake in order to atone for his sin. At least, the expectation of accusations from others does not leave for a minute at such a moment;
- Anxiety. If you forgot your wallet or credit card at home, panic and anxiety are guaranteed. It’s a total disaster. What if big discounts come across on the way, and you can’t take advantage of them?
If you have at least one of the above symptoms, then it’s time to take a closer look at yourself and start moving towards recovery.
Top 5 ways
- If you do not know how to get rid of this addiction, then, first of all, start controlling your spending. Yes, allocating money for certain purchases, planning them, thinking in advance what exactly you want and what functions should be performed — although it sounds terrifying, it helps to control oneself and approach shopping wisely.
- Start ignoring discounts. Of course, they help to save a lot, but they also tempt you to buy something that a person does not need. So, if your plans do not have a fad about new clothes and so on, then pass by, even if you are promised to give the goods at a 90 percent discount.
- Keep a journal of expenses. Or download home bookkeeping to your phone. It will help you notice how many rash acts you are able to commit in a fit of feelings. You will realize that you are wasting not only finances, but also your time, which life consists of. And also learn how to create a limit on spending. After all, the idea of recovery is not to deprive you of the opportunity to acquire something. And that you do it out of necessity, without replacing or avoiding the experience of those feelings that arise quite naturally.
- Visit stores and malls only when you need to. Just taking a walk to improve your mood or relax is not worth it, otherwise you risk losing control and returning to your previous state. As a last resort, make a schedule for a month. You can even distribute responsibilities with other family members, for example, if you were engaged in the purchase of products, then ask for a certain period of time to shift this responsibility to them. Until you learn to control yourself and fulfill your needs in direct ways, without detours.
- Direct free time and energy in a more constructive direction. For example, go to self-development courses, personal growth trainings, start visiting exhibitions, museums, theater. Hobbies, work and outdoor activities are great healers, which, among other things, will help increase energy, bring joy and satiety, and increase self-esteem. After all, you are now doing what develops and makes you more interesting, more skillful, and smarter than you were before.
Conclusion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! If you feel you can’t do it alone, reach out to your friends for help. And try every time you want to spend money, think about what is really happening to you at the moment? Awareness of one’s state and actions is the most effective cure for addictions. Take care of yourself and loved ones!
And finally, I recommend reading an article on how to properly shape your image.
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina.