Top 15 cognitive biases

Typically, our mind uses cognitive distortions to reinforce some kind of negative emotion or negative line of reasoning. The voice in our head sounds rational and authentic, but in reality only reinforces our poor opinion of ourselves.

For example, we say to ourselves, “I always fail when I try to do something new.” This is an example of “black and white” thinking – with this cognitive distortion, we perceive the situation only in absolute categories: if we fail in one thing, then we are doomed to endure it in the future, in everything and always. If we add “I must be a complete loser” to these thoughts, this will be an example of overgeneralization – such a cognitive distortion generalizes ordinary failure to the scale of our entire personality, we make it our essence.

Here are the main examples of cognitive distortions that are worth remembering and practicing, monitoring them and responding to each in a more calm and measured way.

1. Filtering

We focus on the negative while filtering out all the positive aspects of the situation. Obsessed with an unpleasant detail, we lose objectivity, and reality is blurred and distorted.

2. Black and white thinking

With black and white thinking, we see everything either in black or in white, there can be no other shades. We must do everything perfectly or we will fail – there is no middle ground. We rush from one extreme to another, not allowing the idea that most situations and characters are complex, composite, with many shades.

3. Overgeneralization

With this cognitive distortion, we come to a conclusion based on a single aspect, a “piece” of what happened. If something bad happens once, we convince ourselves that it will happen again and again. We begin to see a single unpleasant event as part of an endless chain of defeats.

4. Jumping to conclusions

The other person has not yet said a word, and we already know exactly what he feels and why he behaves the way he does. In particular, we are confident that we can determine how people feel about us.

For example, we may conclude that someone does not love us, but we will not lift a finger to find out if this is true. Another example: we convince ourselves that things will go wrong, as if it were a fait accompli.

5. Pumping

We live in anticipation of a catastrophe that is about to break out, ignoring the objective reality. The same can be said about the habit of minimizing and exaggerating. When we hear about a problem, we immediately turn on “what if? ..”: “If this happens to me? What if tragedy happens? We exaggerate the importance of minor events (say, our own mistake or someone else’s achievement) or, conversely, mentally reduce an important event until it seems tiny (for example, our own desirable qualities or the shortcomings of others).

6. Personification

With this cognitive bias, we believe that the actions and words of others are a personal reaction to us, our words and actions. We also constantly compare ourselves to others, trying to figure out who is smarter, better looking, and so on. In addition, we can consider ourselves the cause of some unpleasant event, for which we objectively do not bear any responsibility. For example, a skewed chain of reasoning might be: “We were late for dinner, so the hostess dried the meat. If only I had hurried my husband, this would not have happened.

7. False conclusion about control

If we feel that we are controlled from the outside, then we feel like a helpless victim of fate. The fallacy of control makes us responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around us. “Why are not you happy? Is it because I did something wrong?

8. False conclusion about justice

We are offended, believing that we were treated unfairly, but others may have a different point of view on this matter. Remember, as children, when things didn’t go the way we wanted them to, adults would say, “Life isn’t always fair.” Those of us who judge every situation “fairly” often end up feeling bad. Because life is sometimes “unfair” – not everything and not always develops in our favor, no matter how much we would like it.

9. Accusation

We believe that other people are responsible for our pain, or, conversely, we blame ourselves for every problem. An example of such a cognitive distortion is expressed in the phrase: “You keep making me feel bad about myself, stop it!” No one can “make you think” or make you feel – we ourselves control our emotions and emotional reactions.

10. “I (shouldn’t)”

We have a list of ironclad rules about how we and the people around us should behave. Anyone who breaks one of the rules causes our anger, and we get angry at ourselves when we break them ourselves. We often try to motivate ourselves with what we should or shouldn’t do, as if we’re doomed to get punished before we do anything.

For example: “I need to play sports. I shouldn’t be so lazy.” “Must”, “must”, “should” are from the same series. The emotional consequence of this cognitive distortion is guilt. And when we take a “should” approach to other people, we often feel anger, impotent rage, frustration, and resentment.

11. Emotional arguments

We believe that what we feel must automatically be true. If we feel stupid or boring, then we really are. We take for granted how our unhealthy emotions reflect reality. “That’s how I feel, so it must be true.”

12. False conclusion about change

We tend to expect others to change to suit our desires and demands. You just need to press or cajole properly. The drive to change others is so persistent because it seems to us that our hopes and happiness depend entirely on those around us.

13. Labeling

We generalize one or two qualities to a global judgment, we take the generalization to the extreme. This cognitive bias is also called labeling. Instead of analyzing the error in the context of a particular situation, we attach an unhealthy label to ourselves. For example, we say “I am a loser” after failing in some business.

Faced with the unpleasant consequences of someone’s behavior, we can attach a label to the person who behaved in such a way. “He/she constantly throws his children at strangers” – about a parent whose children spend every day in kindergarten. Such a label is usually charged with negative emotions.

14. Desire to always be right

We spend our whole lives trying to prove that our opinions and actions are the right ones. Being wrong is unthinkable, so we go to great lengths to demonstrate that we are right. “I don’t care if my words hurt you, I will still prove to you that I am right and win this argument.” The consciousness of being right for many is more important than the feelings of people around, including even those closest to them.

16. False conclusion about the reward in heaven

We are confident that our sacrifices and caring for others at the expense of our own interests will surely pay off – as if someone invisible is keeping score. And we feel bitter disappointment when we do not receive the long-awaited reward.