Top 10 prohibitions: don’t break and be a good mom

Being a parent is a huge responsibility. According to statistics, more than 80% of children, having matured, adhere to the same habits that existed in the family. If mom and dad want to bring up positive qualities in a child, you need to look at yourself and make sure that these traits are inherent in the parents themselves. You always need to start with yourself!

We bring to your attention the top 10 things that cannot be done with children.

Let’s start with the rules of the road. In no case, in front of a child (and indeed), do not cross the road at a red traffic light! Most often, parents, running across the road with their child in the wrong place or not waiting for the green one, justify themselves as follows: “You cannot go to the red light, but now we are in a hurry. I carefully looked at the road, there are no cars nearby. ” Everything! The clear line of prohibition has been erased. Rest assured that the child will now do the same.

The same applies to other safety rules: handling electrical appliances, stove, gas, sockets, hot water.

There should not be even the smallest lie. Children are very attentive, they notice everything, remember and draw conclusions.

For example, mom or dad asked to answer on the phone that they were not at home – it would seem, well, what’s wrong with that: there is no mood or there is no time to talk to someone. But at this point, you show your child that cheating is not so bad.

Or, for example, dad “did something” and agrees with his son or daughter: “Let’s not tell mom!” And then the kid realized that he could hide something from his parents.

“I’ll leave you here now if you …”

“I’m leaving if you …”

“If you do it again, you will get it from me! ..”

With such phrases, we provoke fear in the child and teach him to manipulate. Threats are completely useless – they don’t improve behavior. Always give your children confidence that their mother will be there, that they are loved. Never tell them you will leave them. Do not use this technique to achieve your goal.

Words that have broken in hearts, words-habits very often become children’s habits. Dad dropped a heavy object on the floor and swore through his teeth. Here mom is sorting out the relationship with a neighbor and does not skimp on expressions. Here is a friend telling an anecdote, regardless of the fact that the baby is standing next to him. But the child so wants to be like mom, dad and even this uncle, because they are adults. And he remembers and repeats the words he heard.

It will be much more difficult then to wean the child from the bad habit and explain why such words cannot be used, than just make it a rule to follow your speech.

For many parents, their child’s school success is a reflection of their own victories. It seems that their son or daughter from school should only bring fives. For a four, they can even scold. So you can develop an excellent student’s syndrome in a child, and it is dangerous for emotional and mental exhaustion, especially for children.

Forget the phrases: “Why four and not five?”, “You can do better!” and three? At your place? What a disgrace!”. Rest assured, the child will chew himself up without them. Better caress him. Laugh together at the absurdity of the mistake. Tell us about your mistakes – make it clear that you are imperfect. Find out if you need help?

Teach your child to enjoy the process, not just the result.

Parents should not attack the authority of their children. Never speak badly about his teacher, teacher, coach. Don’t scold your grandparents. And this applies not only to conversations directly with the child, but also to your communication with other people in the presence of your child. Having heard negative feedback from parents, for example, about a teacher, he will no longer be able to respect him, and therefore will not behave decently in class at school. In the case of my grandmother, she will not listen to her.

It is especially difficult to maintain etiquette in relation to an ex-husband or wife. Remember that 50% in the child is from the ex-spouse, which means that by condemning and criticizing him, you also inflict a blow on the child’s self-esteem.

Lovely ones scold – only amuse themselves. Perhaps, in most cases, scandals and swearing between spouses justify this proverb. Often, a violent quarrel is followed by an equally fervent reconciliation. But the children, seeing the quarrels of their parents, deeply experience this. Very often, the child takes the disagreements between mom and dad at his own expense and then for a long time cannot get rid of the feeling of guilt.

The child’s psyche is unstable, so any impact on it can affect the formation and development. As a result, the child may grow up to be a real neurasthenic or even receive serious psychological trauma. This is not to mention the fact that in his future family he will also resort to screams and scandals.

With overprotection, the life of the baby is so controlled and regulated by the parents that there is no question at all about the child’s right to his opinion. With overprotection, the child is morally suppressed. He is accustomed to the idea that he is not able to make the right decision even in the simplest situation. As a result, infantile, insecure losers can grow up who, in old age, will not bring a glass of water even to their mother.

Take as a motto: “Never do for a child what he can do himself.”