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“Both of you are absolutely healthy,” many couples hear in response when they come to the doctor asking why they cannot conceive. But is there something wrong? We explain what exactly.
Sometimes we can talk about psychological infertility: the body feels that the woman is not ready, now is not the time, she is too afraid, too fixated on the idea of conceiving. It is worth letting go of the situation – and everything is getting better. However, it also happens in another way. You and your partner are healthy, ready, trying, but failing. This may be due to several factors. For example, you try too hard. On the other hand, there was a case when a couple of virgins came to the doctor: they did not have sex for religious reasons and did not understand how this could be related to children.
But we hope that you already know exactly where babies come from, and have collected a few common mistakes when trying to conceive – some are quite unexpected.
1. Do not adjust to ovulation
Or you are adjusting too much. Knowing what day you ovulate can increase your chances of conceiving. You can calculate this day in different ways, all of them are easily accessible: from measuring basal temperature to pharmacy ovulation tests. It must be remembered that the cycles are different for everyone, even for one woman it can differ from month to month, so you should not blindly rely on the calendar.
But you can’t get too hung up on ovulation: some couples, trying to conceive, have sex strictly day in and day out. An ovum can live in a woman’s body for 12 to 24 hours. And sperm – up to three, or even five days! This means that sex before and after ovulation may well lead to conception. On average, the fertility window is about six days: four days before ovulation, the day itself, and the next.
2. Too much sex
Trying every day only diminishes your chances of conceiving. Too frequent ejaculations reduce the number of sperm, it takes time to restore their number – up to several days. Experts recommend having sex every other day during the fertile window. And outside of it – as much as your heart desires.
3. Obsession with technology
Standing on your head or at least lifting your legs after sex, making love exclusively in one specific position, which seems to microscopically increase the chances of conception, is all a waste of time. You don’t have to be an acrobat to get pregnant. Doctors say that most of the sperm rushes to the egg immediately at the time of ejaculation. Therefore, all the tricks after are most often in vain. Unless it is advised to put a pillow under the thighs just to calm down. And everything else will simply interfere with the enjoyment of the process.
4. Going to the fertility specialist too early
Or too late. If you are not yet 35, there are no comorbidities, then you take a year to try to conceive naturally. This is normal – after all, the fertile window is only six days, try hitting it. Healthy women in 80% of cases become pregnant within a year after purposeful attempts. If you are over 35, then the waiting time is reduced to six months. Fertility at this age begins to decline sharply.
But there are exceptions to the rule of annual waiting: if your cycle is shorter than 25 days or longer than 35, if your period is very painful or profuse, if there were any infections, then a detailed examination will not hurt.
5. Guilt
Earlier, even before the advent of IVF technologies, it was believed that infertility is an exclusively female problem, only it should be treated. Women who tried to treat infertility back in Soviet times can remember what it was like – pain, humiliation. But now doctors know for sure: in 40-50 percent of cases, the man is responsible for infertility in a couple. Therefore, if you cannot get pregnant, both of you need to go to the doctor. And don’t blame yourself in any way.
6. It’s too late
Courtney Cox, who first became a mother at the age of 40, admitted: she regrets that she delayed the birth of a child for so long. She really wanted a second baby, but after seven miscarriages, she had to give up this idea. And the first-born was not easy for her: she had to undergo IVF, fight for a long time for her family happiness.
Now women all over the world are postponing motherhood for later: first, a career, a financial cushion, buying a home. As a result, the chances of conceiving are less and less, and pregnancy becomes the only goal in life. Would such neurotic motherhood be happy? In general, doctors urge: do not wait until the last.