A self-confident person is tolerant, unlike an insecure person who sees a threat to himself in everything.
I vividly remember the time when the word «tolerance» reappeared in our vocabulary. I say “again” because the word itself has been in the public mind for several hundred years. In our country in the 20-30s of the last century it was firmly buried, and now it is resurrected. As far as I understand, it also acquired a new life in other countries at the same time, a number of international declarations were adopted.
But the declaration is one thing, the daily life of millions of people is another. I’m talking about everyday life. The shops became private, and the shop assistants quickly acquired polite and even sympathetic smiles. They patiently demolished the old men, who finickily delved into the goods, shuffled the packages and obviously slowed down the process of trade. This, however, is understandable. But the queue behaved calmly, not even exchanging caustic jokes. Asking for directions was a real pleasure. No one hinted at the lack of ingenuity of the one who asked the question — they explained it several times and even volunteered to see him off. This is how they behaved towards the elderly, towards women, towards children, towards immigrants from Central Asia, who do not cope well with the Russian language.
- Who is taking our energy?
We are accustomed to arguing passionately, but aggressiveness has almost disappeared from disputes. The highest chic was to show respect for someone else’s, even an absurd point of view. It was a sign of generosity and civility. A phrase attributed to Voltaire has come into fashion: «I do not share your convictions, but I am ready to die for your right to express them.»
And suddenly everything changed again. Aggression regained the aura of holy faith and conviction. If they try to stop someone else, he answers: but I am sincere, or: I am for justice. On the contrary, they began to talk about tolerance as a synonym for indifference, unscrupulousness and even cynicism. And a person is obliged to fight, defend, sacrifice. True, in reality, readiness for sacrifice sometimes looks comical and even intimidating.
- André Comte-Sponville: «The height of the spirit is accessible not only to believers»
The journalist told the road episode. The side mirror showed that the cars in the next row were at a sufficient distance from her, and she turned on the turn signal. But then she realized that the mirror had deceived her, the car passed almost a millimeter from the bumper of the black jeep. To understand whether this was done on purpose or involuntarily, of course, no one will. She was ready for anything, but the continuation of the story shocked her. I quote further: “When the man in the “cut” car set up his jeep for the second time, I got away from the blow to the leftmost lane, that is, he simply had no options to chase me. But he found an option, he drove in the opposite direction — and again framed his jeep. This time I turned on the emergency lights and stopped. He approached: «Well?» — “What is “well”? Yes, I was wrong, yes, there could be an emergency. But do you even understand that after that you yourself created a situation in which you could die? – “So what? Let me die, but I would drag you along with me.
What happened to us? Not a single newspaper, not a single program comes out today without talking about the growing aggression. The reason is usually seen in the changed social situation. But, you see, this explanation will look ridiculous if we try to justify the behavior of the driver mentioned above in this way. Are we only puppets of circumstances? This is worth thinking about.
- “Passing the Luscher test on the Internet is pointless”
In this sense, the psychological tests of Valentina Ponomareva are interesting, in which everyone can check and determine the motives of their tolerant and intolerant behavior. For example, if you adequately perceive the environment, are critical of yourself, then you have all the prerequisites to behave tolerantly. If you notice mostly advantages in yourself, while others have shortcomings, an accusatory position is ready. A self-confident person is tolerant, unlike an insecure person who sees a threat to himself in everything. The same is the case with a responsible person and with those who relieve themselves of responsibility for what is happening. I especially liked the fifth test: “Sense of humor. Tolerant: reacts vividly to jokes, is able to laugh at himself. Intolerant: apathetic or gloomy perceives humor. Irritably reacts even to harmless jokes in his address.
There is, of course, another important point. A person who prefers a democratic structure and a democratic way of life behaves tolerantly. The one who values hard power above all else can persuade himself to be tolerant for as long as he likes. To some extent, he can develop moral, that is, external tolerance in himself, but never moral tolerance without self-knowledge and movement towards inner harmony.