To be a mom thanks to IVF

The birth of a child is a gift, regardless of how the child was conceived. For many couples, IVF is the only chance of becoming pregnant and having a complete family. By deciding to undergo IVF, future parents place their fate in the hands of embryologists who help in fertilization and care for the embryos as if they were their own children. Małgorzata Rozenek-Majdan is an example that it is worth fighting for what is important to us – thanks to the IVF method, she became a mother of three exceptional boys.

  1. “Either IVF or I will never become a mother”, heard Małgorzata Rozenek-Majdan after two years of trying for the first child
  2. “In the case of IVF, an important issue is the financial capacity of a couple trying to have a child – we managed to persevere, because we had the budget to try so many times” – he says about trying to have a third child with my current husband
  3. “The IVF method has a very political aspect, fake news is created to keep this method controversial”

How many years did you try to become a mother when you made the decision about IVF?

Małgorzata Rozenek-Majdan: If we are talking about choosing IVF, we have to start with the first pregnancy. When I graduated from ballet school, I knew that girls who have been practicing sports from a very young age, or, like in my case, ballet, although it is not officially stated, it was noticed that it had some effect on fertility. And I knew from the beginning that there might be a problem with that. I started trying to have a baby quite early and after two years of unsuccessful attempts, I went to the clinic.

I am lucky to be from a large city and access to this type of facility is good, which many women from smaller towns do not experience. There I underwent a correct and very quick diagnosis, which clearly gave the answer that I would either in vitro or never become a mother. It was 15 years ago and it would seem that it was more difficult then, but the atmosphere around IVF was much better 15 years ago than it is today. It was treated as a medical novelty, a bit of a flight into space, but there was absolutely no negative impact, there was no political game as it is now.

After two years of unsuccessful natural efforts, we decided to use IVF the first time. When we were trying to have a second child, we knew that we had no other way and for the second time my son appeared in the world using this method.

When I met my current husband, Radosław, we were both aware from the very beginning that if we wanted to have a joint child, it would only be through in vitro fertilization, because this is the only way I am able to get pregnant. I am lucky because my partners are men who have never made me feel that it is weird or worse, and have not blamed me for not having a natural conception, which made it easier for me mentally.

When I decided to have a child for the third time, I was convinced that there would be no problems. And here’s a surprise, three years did not come out, and when it did, the pregnancy ended at a very early stage. It was a bit of age, but in vitro is a bit of a lottery. Becoming a mother for the third time was a very difficult and traumatic path that we went through and I must admit that if it were not for the faith of our doctors, with whom we have become friends over the years, and my enormous trust in them, Henryk would probably not exist. We had two very tough times during our efforts when we wanted to give up.

We no longer believed in effectiveness and did not believe that we would succeed after another unsuccessful attempt, which ended in the 11th week of twin pregnancy, which stopped developing. We decided that this was the end, because it cost us a lot of mental health and that’s when Henryk appeared.

I must point out that in the case of IVF, an important issue is the financial capacity of a couple trying to have a child – we managed to persevere, because we had the budget to try so many times

In Poland, people withdraw not because they stop believing or stop dreaming about a child, they simply run out of funds. And it cannot be that we are a red island on the map of Europe and the world, where IVF is treated not as a healing method, but as a whim. Parents who, over the years of their work, put aside money in health insurance contributions so that the state, in the event that they fall ill, for example, with infertility, helps them in solidarity (as it helps people with diabetes, cardiovascular diseases), at this point they cannot count on for state aid, as the reimbursement of this method has been suspended.

And these people have a perceived chance to become a parent because, for political reasons, the consent to IVF was traded for a deal with the Catholic Church.

What is the biggest problem in our country when it comes to IVF?

The lack of reimbursement, which made it impossible to use this method for communities from medium and smaller towns and villages or for the poor, but also for the middle-class. He absolutely closed it making it too expensive. If this is felt for me or for people from large cities, where, first of all, there is another possibility of earning money, secondly, our IVF procedure does not include journeys, because it is a very time-consuming method. If you have to undergo an ultrasound every other day for two weeks, then you have to add the costs of transport or staying in a hotel, which makes the entire procedure even more expensive, which means that they are impassable barriers.

Closing the reimbursement by the state and transferring this responsibility to local governments (there are several cities in Poland that are coping with it perfectly, e.g. in Warsaw, by the decision of President Trzaskowski, the financing of the in-vitro procedure was extended until 2023) made it an elite one. We remember the time of 2013-2016, where the government of the PO-PSL introduces the state program of in vitro reimbursement, which turns out to be a huge demographic success, 22 thousand. children have so far been born from this program, and according to conservative estimates by doctors, 24 will be born. and that’s only for the three years of the program’s operation. The lack of reimbursement is a key problem with the IVF method, but there is also a social controversy surrounding this topic, where people are afraid to admit that they are treating infertility.

What prompted you to establish the MRM Foundation, what is behind this decision? What is the mission and goals of the foundation?

For me, the most important role in life is that of mom. This is what gives my life meaning. I understand very well women who consciously do not decide to become a mother, my children are important to me and every day I am aware that if it were not for the IVF method and wonderful doctors, my boys would not exist. I realized that many people are deprived of this possibility, which should not be the case in the XNUMXst century.

I am enviously looking at my friends living in France or Sweden who have unlimited access to the method of in vitro fertilization. There is no stress on where to get the money for treatment, and this affects the effectiveness of this method, which manifests itself in the number of repetitions, especially with age. I thought to myself that this is my mission, my goal!

I need to talk about important things and I want to help, because I was in this situation myself and I was very lucky, and yet it cost me a lot of health and effort

The main mission of my foundation is education and popularizing access to research. We have created two programs for 2020, unfortunately the pandemic thwarted our plans. On March 8, after many months of hard work, we prepared a conference in the Senate for Women’s Day for Women, we wanted to present the AMH diagnosis program (blood test that allows you to determine a woman’s fertility) together with ALAB laboratories. It has been noted that many problems arise when a woman comes to the doctor with too low AMH. The awareness among women that they can perform such tests is very low. That is why we have prepared a program to make women realize that the age of 30 is the perfect time to conduct such a study.

We wanted to test 10 thousand. women for the proverbial zloty and spread the knowledge about this study. The third project, on which we had advanced discussions with the Ministry of National Education, was to concern talks in the secondary school-leaving classes as part of the educational hour on fertility among young people. This is the age when you think how not to get pregnant, but it is important to know that everyday hygiene (especially in men) has an impact on whether we will have a chance to be parents. Unfortunately, the schools have been closed due to COVID-19, but I hope that we will be able to come back to this project.

What emotions accompany infertility treatment?

These are extreme emotions. If someone has not personally gone through it, it is very difficult to explain it especially to people who have been extremely fortunate enough to become parents naturally, how traumatic the experience can be. Maximized hopes, expectations, guilt, if it does not work out – this is comparable, as my husband says, to an athlete before an important sports event, the Olympics. You have to be in the best physical shape, you should be mentally very resilient. Family life is focused on making it work.

This is tremendous stress and pressure, let alone tremendous resentment when it doesn’t come out. It is annoying to know that I don’t have any more money for another try. People make dramatic decisions about selling an apartment or a car, they minimize their needs just to pay for treatment.

What are common stereotypes about in vitro fertilization?

These stereotypes are primarily about how embryos are treated. The IVF method has a very political aspect, fake news is created to keep this method controversial. Obtaining an embryo is difficult and each embryo is valuable for the parents – preserving it means that you do not have to undergo hormone therapy anew, not only difficult in terms of health, but also financially. There is no such thing as pouring babies down the sink, killing other embryos in the name of one embryo, no choosing better embryos, all these arguments are false and harmful and they only serve to justify the lack of funding for the in vitro method.

Even before the pandemic, as part of my foundation’s activities, I went to meetings in smaller cities, because education is an important part of the foundation’s activities. During one of such meetings, 30 listeners of Radio Maryja gathered, who came with a very negative attitude, and left saying that they did not understand (it was a meeting with doctors, psychologists) what the problem surrounding this method was. Because there is no problem with this method, except that currently the state does not want to finance it.

Decision-makers strive to make this method of fertilization from a treatment method a shady method in the social perception, so as to justify the lack of funding

What would you say to couples who struggle with infertility?

The first essential thing is to find professional help. This is the basis and in Poland it is still an underestimated issue, which causes a lot of frustration and unnecessary loss of money. If you want to cut your hair, go to the hairdresser, if your heart hurts – go to a cardiologist, if you have fertility problems, do not go to a gynecologist who deals with the reproductive organ, but go to a doctor who is a specialist in this field.

More and more countries are changing the name of fertility clinics to fertility support. Research says that the name and its negative connotations make people delay the decision to seek medical help, because no one wants to admit that they have a problem with infertility. Time is key and every month wasted in a place that does not support fertility professionally with the help of specialists, works to our disadvantage.

Source: patientilekarz.pl portal

The editorial board recommends:

  1. Naprotechnology versus in vitro. How do they differ and what is their effectiveness in the fight against infertility?
  2. In vitro – indications, methods. How does IVF work? [WE EXPLAIN]
  3. Infertility is a civilization disease. In vitro is one of the methods of its treatment

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