Last summer days. Willy-nilly, our thoughts go back to school. Preparation, lessons, homework checks. But today we want to talk about something else. What do we teach – and do we teach at all – to our children? Do we have enough time and desire to pass on our experience to the younger generation? How and when to do it? We invite readers to answer these questions with us.
Well, it’s simple with toddlers and preschoolers. Almost every modern family welcomes early development, learning letters and counting. But in a few years all this knowledge will be “duplicated” in kindergarten and school. Early childhood is a period when children mechanically memorize and reproduce words and actions. Therefore, learning to read and count at this age is just “coaching”. But it’s time to develop fine motor skills, coordination and rhythm! What can we teach a kid? Sculpt from plasticine, build locks from matches, collect puzzles and the like. And also swim, dance, sing. Childhood is a great time! Let’s enjoy this time together with your little ones.
And it’s also high time to teach the child to be independent: to dress, to tie the shoelaces. And help us a little: dust off, wash the dishes or sew on a button, peel vegetables. Very useful skills!
“When my children were young, like many mothers, I always had to choose: to play? Read? Or cook something delicious? And we came up with the idea of playing “chefs”. The kids were happy to stir the dough, cut out cookies with molds, sculpt dumplings with me, and at the same time learned to count. And there were never any problems with appetite – their “creations” were eaten with a bang! ” – says Margarita.
And what is the situation with children aged 8-10? Do we continue to focus on the knowledge gained at school? Checking homework? Restricting Internet Access? Or do we pass on to the younger generation something that is not related to the school curriculum, but important, in our opinion?
“What can I do if I drop my professional skills? Crochet a little because my grandmother showed me how to do it. Cooking pilaf, because I learned it from a friend. I can sew a pillowcase or turn trousers into shorts, because we always had a sewing machine in our house and my mother did not swear when I set up a “tailor shop” from my room. These are not essential skills in my life today. These are the “anchors” of the memory of my loved ones. After all, all that remains ultimately is the memory of those people who are dear to us, ”says Irina, a mother of two children.
What you are doing together now is very important for the child and his “model of the world”. Warm memories will last a lifetime, even if classes do not develop into a hobby or profession.
And it’s also high time to teach the child the basics of safety. There is a ton of literature on what to do if. For example, if the child is left at home alone, and the doorbell rings? If he got lost in the mall? If you passed the metro station? If you fell behind your classmates on excursions?
Discuss, simulate such situations with your child, work out the “instructions for survival”.
Teenagers are not yet adults, but they are no longer children! This is the most interesting and fruitful period for mutual cooperation! If you have hobbies – photography, sports, fishing, cooking – it’s time to share your passion with your son or daughter. You are able to interest a teenager, teach the basics and “secrets” of your hobby! Who else? Psychologists note that in families where there are common hobbies, age crisis periods pass more gently. Spending more time together is a great idea. Moreover, in secondary school, workloads allow you to attend sections several times a week.
And further. During this period, the world seems to be still very large. Help your older kids set priority beacons. What is important and what is secondary? Remember the parable about a jug that can be filled to the top with water, but then there will be no room for large stones. How to choose friends, how to build relationships with classmates, how to communicate with the opposite sex, how to react to rudeness and provocations – tell me tactfully and delicately. If asked, give advice. If you don’t know what to do, be honest about it. Try to find the answer together.
Here’s what the mothers of teenagers say: “Passing at least a grain of your life experience to your child is like ‘spreading straws’ for me. An unpleasant incident made me think about it. The son succumbed to the trick of the scammers and, as a result, was left without a new phone. ” “If I don’t know the answer, I honestly say:“ Go google! ”And then we discuss together what the son“ dug up ”on the Internet – the advice is sometimes contradictory.” “Since the age of 11, my daughter cooks dinner a couple of times a week. We started with the most simple dishes. I know that now that she is 14, she will not call me every night to find out how to fry eggs if she is left alone for a week. “
It’s time to choose your path in life. “Choose a job you like and you won’t have to work a single day in your life” – how close are these words to you? Tell your children about this. What do our children know about us? What is your occupation? Do they know why you chose your business? How long have you been looking for yourself, in what areas have you tried your hand? How professional are you?
“My son was very nervous before the exams. It depended on the results whether he would be accepted into a math class. And then I told how I dreamed of going to medical school, because almost all my friends were preparing to go there. But three months before the final exams, I changed my mind and began to prepare for the creative competition for the Faculty of Journalism. And then I was so shaken before the first session that I even wanted to go to pick up the documents, – says Sofia. – By this I wanted to show my son that I was also terribly panicked because of the exams. And if today you think that your calling is mathematics, then tomorrow you can find something completely different for yourself. And that’s okay. “
It is great if you can now pass on some of the knowledge to your child. For example, help you master a foreign language, understand math, or learn how to design in 3D graphics. If you think you are not a “role model” in this matter, your teenager still needs to know about it. But do not shift your ambitions onto the shoulders of your son or daughter. Help with advice, but give them the opportunity to independently choose their own path.
Earlier, even 20-30 years ago, for example, in the families of our parents, it was customary to discuss all the news that happened during the day. Mothers were aware of the names of classmates, colleagues, with whom the son or daughter met, where they went. This is rare now. Generations are more disunited. Young people communicate on social networks, on thematic forums. The older generation, alas, remains behind the scenes.
“I have certain knowledge that I acquired on my own, because life demanded it: how to create a basic wardrobe, how to manage a family budget, how to take care of a baby, in the end! And yes, it would be much easier for me if my mother and grandmothers told me something. For example, how not to ruin your first marriage! After all, every woman by the age of 40 has a personal “negative experience”, ”Natalya shares her reflections.
Not so long ago in social networks there was such a tag “20-year-old myself.” After 30, almost everyone has something to say, something to warn against. “Do not do that – you will become a kid.” We learn from our mistakes. But you don’t have to be a blogger to talk about life with your grown children! To pass on your experience, you need a relationship of trust. They do not appear “all of a sudden” like a friend request. But while you are living together all the periods of growing up – both you and your children – mutual trust between you grows stronger. But this is the main lesson.