On the verge of an important decision, we always experience excruciating anxiety and uncertainty. How not to make a mistake? Will my life be happy with this person? Will I regret choosing this job? Move mom to your house full of noisy children and unresolved problems, or leave it alone? Clinical psychologist, psychotherapist Yulia Kolotyrkina suggests decomposing the decision-making process into several stages.
In retrospect, we often rate our decisions as “bad” or “good.” But if you think about it, it doesn’t. Let’s say you regret some of your decisions in the past. Ask yourself the question: could you at that moment, with the resources that you had, the arguments that seemed important to you, act differently? Often even the “wrong” solutions are the only possible ones. If they do not radically change an unpleasant situation, then at least they become the first step towards getting out of it.
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It is only in our power to find the optimal solution, based on the information that we have, and come to terms with the fact that time will put everything in its place. Whatever decision you make, it will be your experience. Even if it fails, you will realize that you can handle it. You will gain new knowledge about yourself and self-confidence.
Key skills in making important decisions are courage, honesty and awareness of one’s own abilities and limitations. Don’t run away from the challenges of life. Be honest about your values, fears, fantasies, strengths and weaknesses. Calculate and accept the consequences of your decisions. Weigh the pros and cons, choose the best solution possible and follow it with confidence.
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Your decisions are your future. You can actively create it or just passively go with the flow. The choice is yours. Just remember that time and your own life are an irreplaceable resource.
How to make a decision:
Give yourself time. Go for a walk. In the environment of nature, thoughts become clear. When you get home, write down everything that comes to mind.
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- Face your fears
Clarify your own goals. What do you want to achieve? Get rich or just achieve financial independence? To be in a relationship or live alone? Have a prestigious job or a stable and secure job?
Set deadlines for solving each problem. Every day, devote strictly allotted time to this and do not be distracted by abstract reflections.
Decision making is your own business. You cannot have a better adviser than yourself. Listen to your own desires.
Face your fear. Ask yourself: “What am I afraid of? What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Pass the tests
- What makes your life difficult?
Pay attention to your fantasies: “What do I really hope for? What is my deepest wish?”
Brainstorm. Write down all possible options for your actions, including inaction. Write the pros and cons of each. Try to think as objectively as possible, do not give in to emotions.
Consider the possible consequences for each option. Ask yourself the question: “How will I feel in such a development of events?”
Imagine perspective. “Which decision will seem right to me in a year?”
Write down all thoughts, the rational and emotional side of the issue. Give yourself a few more days to think and then make a decision.