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Mature men often start relationships with women much younger than themselves. Moreover, most of them, as a rule, are already married … A journalist who has gone through the experience of betrayal and subsequent divorce gives men three pieces of advice.
Such novels, where he is much older than her, most often are love triangles, in which there are also wives. Therefore, lies and betrayal are frequent companions of relations with a woman with whom a man has an age difference.
“The reasons why men become interested in young women are usually not related to sex, but to a deep desire to confirm their masculinity and inner viability,” says psychologist Hugo Schweitzer. “This does not mean that women of the same age are less attractive, just that they are not able to convince the fragile, aging male ego that he is still full of energy. To do this in the case of some people who have crossed the threshold of youth, only a young fertile woman can embody new life opportunities and confirm that they, like twenty years ago, still have a lot ahead.
I am not a psychotherapist or a gerontologist, I am a woman who went through a divorce after she found out that her husband was cheating on me with a young girl. I went through pain and sleepless nights and made the decision to end my relationship with the person I loved.
More than five years have passed since then. The relationship of the husband with his mistress did not work out. And although our family has not recovered, we keep in touch and I know about many of his experiences. Others I know have gone through similar experiences, and I can share my observations.
So, if you are a man and are faced with a choice, here are three tips.
Tip #1 — make up your mind
Yes, make up your mind! Indeed, frankly speaking, carried away by the novel, you left your wife with care for children, home and elderly parents so long ago. It will be more honest if you make the final decision and leave.
She will not need to take care of your health, forgive your bad mood and behavior, more appropriate for a rebellious teenager. Stay with the young darling and see how long she will worry about your high blood pressure.
Tip #2 — Don’t pay attention to other people’s opinions
While you think that your friends are jealous of you, you show them your complexes and weaknesses. A new girlfriend with a birth certificate that matches the year you graduated from school or college shows your insecurity and desire to step into the same water twice. So they will talk about you behind your eyes.
Tip #3 — Don’t Blame Yourself
From time to time you will be tormented by guilt and you will try to gain a sense of self-respect in the face of those who previously trusted your decisions — your children. It may very well be that you will not meet with understanding, and the point is not that the ex-wife sets them against you.
Children most likely still love you, but therefore they are unbearable to live with a sense of loss of respect for their father, whose authority was so important to them.
“It’s like with a new coveted car, the feeling of novelty passes very quickly,” one acquaintance admitted to me, who also went through a family and internal crisis, which he unsuccessfully tried to cure with a novel. “Now I understand that if, with an effort, I replaced something outdated in my “life machine” rather than buying a new one, maybe I could fix a lot.”
Over time, which in such situations always plays against the one who is older, there is often nothing to be done.